A Strange Arrangement
by kryjen
Summary: An accident puts Bella in Carlisle and Esme's care, but that's not the only strange arrangement. What happens when Bella finds out her parents also arranged her marriage to Edward, Carlisle and Esme's son? Read on. AH/AU Canon Pairings
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Okay, so this is my first fic and I'd love to say I know where all this is going, but the truth is I only have a general idea. Now, while the fic is rated M we won't get to that part just yet, but bear with me. It should be a good ride.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the Characters in it. All situations here were created in my own mind, and are not meant to resemble anyone else's work.**_

In shock really didn't cover it. I kept thinking, _This has to be a dream. This has to be a dream. _

A dream, yeah right, more like a nightmare. The night had started out, like any other. My mom and dad, Charlie and Renee, left for their usual "date night" while I worked on yet another college application. I was sitting around trying to think of how to answer the questions meant to share deep insight into my life.

The one I was currently focused on was about overcoming a great obstacle in my life. Like there was a good answer for that one. I mean, I guess I could share about how clumsy I am, but somehow I don't think that's what they were looking for. Perhaps I could focus on how dull my life is. Right, the obstacle could be trying to not die from boredom in boring old Forks, Washington. No, I didn't think that would work either.

I had to come up with something good. I really wanted to make Charlie and Renee happy. They had such high hopes for me and college, seeing as how neither of them ever went. Graduating from college was their dream for me. Well, that and marrying someone who could provide for me without any worries; like that was ever going to happen. A "plain Jane" like me wasn't going to be landing anyone that good. Nope, they'd just have to settle for having one of their dreams come true.

After all of this thought, I turned back to focusing on my applications when there was a knock at the door. I wasn't really expecting anyone and was beyond surprised to see Esme and Carlisle standing on the doorstep when I opened the door. My mom had met Esme during a class on gardening. It was one of those short-lived whims; Renee was always getting off on. Carlisle was her husband, and the two of them had become fast friends with my folks after they went on a double date shortly following the first class.

Since then, they had doubled on "date night" a couple of times, and I couldn't imagine what had brought them by tonight. Then out of nowhere Esme hugged me. "What's going on?" I asked her. I found it really strange she was hugging me. I mean, I had seen her often enough, since she and my mom hung out a lot, but she had never hugged me.

"We'd better come in and sit down, Dear," Carlisle spoke as if in a trance. As we headed into the living room, Esme never let go of me. She had her arm wrapped around me so we walked side by side. Carlisle followed behind us after closing the door. I sat down on the love seat in the center of the room. Esme, still glued to my side, followed suit. Carlisle sat in the great big Lazy Boy recliner to our right.

We sat in silence that way for what seemed like hours. As I looked from him to Esme, their solemn faces combined with silence made the room feel cold. Not like I am standing in a snow storm cold, but like it's the middle of winter and the heat is set too low to be kicking on kind of cold. Finally, Carlisle broke the silence.

"Bella, we came here tonight because we are your parents' emergency contacts. There's been an accident." _What?_ I thought. "Your parents were on the freeway and a semi driver fell asleep at the wheel. When the police arrived at the scene and began to look for some identification, they came across the ICE card, in case of emergency, and noticed our numbers on it. They placed the call to us, and well, there's no easy way to say this, but Bella, they didn't make it."

_They didn't make it._ I thought. I should have started crying right then, but for some reason the tears wouldn't come. All I could think was, _This can't be happening._

"We're so sorry, Dear," Esme quietly tried to console me. I couldn't think straight. I mean, just a short while ago I was thinking about how dull my life was and how there was no way I'd be able to answer that stupid essay question. Now, I was being presented with the greatest obstacle of all! I was a seventeen year old orphan.

"We have to take you down to the police station first, then we can go by morgue, if you'd like. After that, you're going to come and stay with us. Your parents put you in our custody awhile ago, should anything happen to them. We'll need to leave shortly." I didn't know what to say. How do you respond to someone who has just told you your parents are dead, and that they are to be, basically, your new parents?

"I need a moment alone please," was all I could say. Then I trudged over to the stairs, willing my body to make it up the stairs without tripping or something.

"Of course, Dear," Esme called after me, her voice was soft and shaky. I could tell she was trying to be comforting in her tone, but was having a hard time losing it all together. "We'll be right here when you're ready."

_When I'm ready, how can anyone truly be ready for something like this?_ I thought to myself as I slowly climbed the stairs to my room, for what was likely one of the last times. In that one brief moment, everything changed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note: Thanks for the feedback guys. Seeing as how this is my first fic, I wasn't sure about the length limits and things, so I didn't get as much into Ch. 1 as I wanted. However, I didn't feel right adding to it after others have already read it. So, instead, you get the extra right here, along with the new stuff for this chappy. I hope you like it.**

_**Disclaimer: Once again, don't own Twilight or scenes that may resemble something else. This is my imagination running wild.**_

As I sat in my room, thinking about everything that had just transpired downstairs, I couldn't help but wonder why I hadn't started crying yet. I mean, what kind of heartless child was I that I wasn't mourning over the loss of my parents. I mean, sure Charlie was kind of quiet, and usually gone a lot because he worked for the police department, and Renee, well she was kind of flighty. She wasn't around much so, I was mostly on my own. If the truth be told, they were more like two adults I lived with than my parents. I often felt like I was my own parent. I did most of the cooking in the house, it was just something I kind of enjoyed doing, and I made sure that the place stayed fairly tidy. That was more for personal reasons; a klutz like me couldn't afford all the clutter around. I made sure I did my homework, and I preferred reading to watching T.V. I never stayed out past curfew, but let's face it, I never really went anywhere. Like I've already said, my life is boring. It all made me a model child, really, if only a slight antisocial one. Now, I truly was on my own. Well, sort of. Carlisle and Esme were taking me, but I still felt so alone.

I don't know how long I had been upstairs just lying on my bed staring at the ceiling in my room, but it must have been awhile. I heard quiet footsteps in the hallway and then a light tap on my door. Esme poked her head in my room. "Bella honey, are you alright? You've been up here a while now, and I know you truly need to time, but we really should get going. It's getting late. Carlisle has already called the station to let them know we'll be there shortly. There are just a few things they need to go over with us, and then you can have some time to reflect. Do you want any help packing some things up to bring to our place?" _Well, at least she wasn't calling it home_, I thought.

"I'll be okay. I'll be down in a few minutes. Okay?" I replied.

"Whatever you need Bella. Just know that we're here for you."

"I know. I appreciate all that you are doing for me." It was all I could say at that moment. I wanted to tell her I know she must be hurting too, but I couldn't. That would mean breaking out of the numbness that I was taking solitude in right now and admitting that I was hurting. Then, I wanted to be angry. I mean, how could I not have known they were close enough to Charlie and Renee to be my guardians? I didn't know what to do or think. I had never been to their house, so I had no idea where I was going to end up. Did they even live in my school district? What if they had kids? Would they like me? I had always wondered what it would be like to have a sibling. Being an only child you always wonder what it would be like if you weren't alone. This new found curiosity got me moving. Well, that and the fact that I didn't want either Carlisle or Esme to have to come back up to my room again. If I had to face them up here, well, it probably would have been the antidote to my Novocain.

After throwing things at random into my suitcase, I walked slowly trudged out of my room and towards the stairs. I didn't even stop for one last look around, afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle it. When I got to the base of the stairs, Carlisle and Esme were sitting on the loveseat engaged in quiet conversation. I didn't want to interrupt them, but I didn't want to look at them like that. They just seemed too comfy and close, eating into my memories of Charlie and Renee like that. So, I made a point out of setting down my suitcase a little louder than was necessary. When they looked up, both of their sad eyes met mine, and I could feel the pit in my stomach begin to grow. Grasping onto what little composure I had left, I stated, "I'm ready to go, whenever you are."

"Well, let's get going then, shall we?" Carlisle replied. They led me out the driveway where their Black Cadillac Escalade awaited. It was a beast of an SUV, raven black in color with tinted windows all around. While I didn't exactly know much about cars, I knew that this one must have cost a pretty penny. Afterall, it was a Cadillac for Christ's sake! When I opened the door, I was faced with faced with more black. All the seats were black leather and the only other colors inside were the wood grain and silver that splashed the dash, the wood grain trim on the steering wheel, and the lights gleaming off of the stereo and built in GPS system. The thing looked like it could seat at least 6 people comfortably, which told me that maybe they did have at least one kid. I chose to sit in the back row of seats, placing myself in my own little world for the ride the police station. I needed time to think and collect myself before having to face my dad's work buddies. Oh God, what were they going to say? Would they be crying? Would they think something was wrong with me if I wasn't? If I broke down now, there was no stopping it, I was pretty sure.

The ride to the station seemed a lot shorter than what I remembered, from the few times I had ever been there, of course that might have been because I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even realized we'd left my house. When we got there, I took one last moment to collect myself and then headed for the door. It opened before I reached the handle, and Esme was waiting patiently on the other side. As soon as I had both feet on the ground, she was embracing me yet again. I don't know if it was to comfort me or her more, to be honest. We all quietly walked towards the front doors to the station, and the moment I was inside there was a bustle of people coming over to me to offer their condolences. I quietly thanked God at that moment for Esme. She held onto me as if I were her Siamese twin, glued to her side. All of my dad's coworkers and even their wives had congregated in that tiny little station. I can't even say how many times I heard people tell me how sorry they were, but I know I was getting pretty tired of it. We were finally led to the small lounge room in the back. I was thankful that was where we were placed. I had worried we'd get stuck in an interrogation room, or something, I didn't think I could face being confined like that.

After a few minutes of sitting in quiet, an officer I'd never seen before entered the room. He introduces himself as Jack Carson. Apparently he was a state patrol officer that had been working the freeway and was one of the first to respond to the scene. He was a nice enough man, probably middle aged, married by the looks of the ring on his hand. He had chocolate brown hair, and puppy dog brown eyes, and when he extended his condolences as well, I had a feeling it was something he had to do far too often. Then he ran down a list of what I assume were routine questions. I answered them as best I could, Carlisle and Esme popped in to try to help whenever I got stumped or struggled. In the end, my mind was a blur, not really remembering what had been said. All I know is that I was thankful someone had apparently told him I'd been filled in enough to know the basics about what happened, and that's all I needed to know really. I kept waiting for him to give me all the details about the accident, and my parents' death, but I just didn't want to hear it. Who really needs to know the details of how a loved one died anyways? I mean really, if someone told you they didn't suffer, would you believe them? And if you were told how horrible it must have been for them, would you really want to hear that? My point exactly. The less I knew the better. I knew the main facts, my parents were dead, so was the truck driver who fell asleep at the wheel, although he probably deserved it, and I was going to be moving in with Carlisle and Esme. At least after seeing their car, I know why my parents chose them. They clearly had money, and would have been able to take good care of me. Perhaps, they would even be able to help make sure all their dreams for me came true. When it was all over and we were ready to go, the officer turned to me one more time to offer condolences and to tell me that he would be in touch if there was anything else I needed to know. Then he turned to Carlisle and Esme and spoke, "I understand Dr. Cullen, that you and your wife are to be guardians of Bella, is that correct?" _A doctor, of course, that would explain the fancy car, _I thought.

"Yes. It was set up a while ago. We have the appropriate legal documents of course, if you need them," Carlisle responded solemnly.

"I'm sure you have already showed them to those that truly need to see them. I'll be in touch with you as well, if there's anything else to say." Jack responded. Then, we were free to leave. I was once again ushered out the door, overlapping apologies resounding behind me. Esme, again placed her arm around my waist, and as we headed for the car, no one spoke a word.

Once we were all seated and set to go, I decided that I was really too tired to deal with anything more tonight, so I rested my head on the back of the seat and closed my eyes. I don't know if I ever truly fell asleep before we arrived at what was to be my new home, but I do know that it was entirely quiet on the drive. Carlisle and Esme seemed to be in deep discussion, and while they spoke in quiet whispers, I thought I'd pulled out things here and there. They seemed to worry about how to tell me something and when. They also wondered how to best prepare me for meeting the rest of the family. That I caught fairly clearly. So, they did have at children. From what I had overheard it sounded like there was a boy and a girl. I didn't catch anything else, not ages, or names, nothing. I hoped I wouldn't have to face anyone else tonight. If one more person told me how sorry they were I was going to scream.

Fortunately, when we arrived at the house, all was quiet. Carlisle carried my suitcase behind us, while Esme ushered me through a brief tour of the house. "I am sure you are tired dear, and would prefer just to rest for now. I will give you a proper tour in the morning. We have a few guest rooms, so I'll just show you to one for now. You can look at the others in the morning and decide which room you would like to claim as yours," She said. Esme was truly a sweet woman, angelic really. She was just slightly taller than me, maybe by a couple of inches, with caramel colored hair and a heart shaped face similar to mine. She was also very slender, but looked like she could take care of herself and anyone else she cared about with ease. I was confident that she would keep me safe and maybe someday be a good "mother" for me. Carlisle was also very attractive, like movie star attractive. He had blond hair and what looked like hazel eyes. From looking at the two of them, I could only imagine what their children must look like. That thought made me nervous. What would happen when they met me? Would they like me? Would I like them? Would I get along with them? Oh God, what if their son turned out to be just as attractive as Carlisle? If he was around my age would I be attracted to him? Would it be weird to crush on my "new brother"? More thoughts to send my head spinning, Ugh! We reached the doors to one of the guest rooms and Esme led me in. "This is probably one of the larger guest bedrooms and it has its own bathroom. Do you need anything before we leave you for the night?" she asked.

"No thanks, I'll be fine. You've both been so sweet to me, really. I appreciate all the trouble you've gone to just for me." I replied.

"It was no trouble at all. Truly, it has been our pleasure." Esme responded. Then there was a brief awkward silence and Carlisle placed his hand on Esme's shoulder as a sort of sign to leave. "Right, well we'll see you in the morning then. Good night." Then, she turned and left me alone. As I stared around the room I noticed it was a beautiful room, albeit unremarkable. Everything was very neutral, my pleasant to look at. There was a dresser off to the right of the doorway with a large mirror placed on top, the bed was in the center of the room, and the bathroom was off to the left and a closet sat along the same wall. I walked over to the closet and opened it, setting my suitcase down on the floor. I was so exhausted from the stress of the last few hours; I didn't even bother changing into pajamas. I did however grab my toiletries. I walked into the bathroom, turned on the light, and using a nearby washcloth I washed my face, then I brushed my teeth, and flipped the light off. I managed to make it to the large sleigh bed that rested in the center of the room and pulled back the dark blue comforter. As I slid under the covers the cotton sheets felt wonderful against my skin, and I noticed as I rested my head on the down pillows that I was more tired than even I had known. Less than a minute after settling in the bed, I was out like a light.

**Coming up next, Bella awakes. There will be some mourning and introductions, among other things.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Wow! I get so excited every time I see a new person has favorited me, or put me on alert. I'm glad so many enjoy it so far. I'll try not to let anyone down. As per usual, feedback is appreciated. I can't make it better for you, if you don't speak up. So please leave a review.**

**Disclaimer: Like always not all mine.**

I awoke sometime early in the morning, only aware of the time frame based on the dim light creeping through the solitary window near the bed. As I began to grasp my surroundings, I was suddenly thrown back into reality. This wasn't my room. I wasn't on some little vacation with my folks. I'd never take a trip with them again. Suddenly, like a wall, the emotions came pouring in. They say that grief has its steps. I wondered if you could go through all of them in a flash. I wanted to deny everything that happened and say it was a dream, but my rational side kicked in and decided that, of course, that wasn't the case. Then, I wanted to be pissed off, although at "whom" I wasn't sure. I guess it was the dumb ass truck driver, but maybe he had a prick boss that was pushing him and couldn't help it. Maybe it should have been Charlie; I mean I think he was driving, and as a cop shouldn't he have been more observant and able to get out of the way. Then again, maybe Renee was distracting him with some mindless babble about God knows what. Then, of course there's God, if there is one. How could he let this happen? Ugh. I couldn't take that any longer. So then I slipped into bargaining. I bargained for the pain to go away, for my life to return to the normal. Then I hit a dead end with that and started to feel kind of guilty about not being so happy about my life before. I shouldn't have felt it was so dull. I shouldn't have been so complacent; maybe then, things would have gone differently, and I wouldn't have been sitting in a strange bedroom all alone, in a strange house, seemingly alone. That's when the signs of depression came in, my parents were gone. All their dreams for me they would never see fulfilled. Why attempt them at all? Why start my day and face the agony that it would likely entail? I didn't want to cry. I hated the feeling of weakness that came with it. I hated the resulting headache and dryness that comes from crying yourself out. I hated the feeling of doing it alone without the strength of a close loved one.

Immediately, I remembered that I wasn't alone. While I had lost the only true family I had, I was somewhere that I was cared about, or at least that's how it seemed. I remembered there was someone nearby that seemed to have the strength to bear almost anything, and I took solace in that fact. I remembered I was young, and there was still a world ahead of me. Finally, I remembered that my parents wouldn't have wanted me to become a dribbling mess that had no desire to do anything. I became encompassed with determination. I would see to it that I made them proud. Whether there is truly an afterlife or not, I wasn't sure, but I knew that I had to do something. Renee always got on her tangents of this and that in life, and suddenly I was struck by a quote she had fallen in love with after her parents passed away. _**"If we could see that everything, even tragedy, is a gift in disguise, we would then find the best way to nourish the soul."**_ I don't even recall where she had picked it up, but I knew that when it popped into my mind at that point it was something of a miracle. It was pointing me to a way out. Of course, the mourning wouldn't be over that quickly, but this thought was at least a start. Maybe there was a "greater good" to speak of here. I wasn't sure what it was, but there just had to be something about all of this that would help make sense of the experience.

I thought about another idea of there being strength in numbers and realized that I was going to need numbers to get me through this. I slowly got out of bed and headed to bathroom. I needed some sort of normalcy so I started my day like usual. After I showered and finished the rest of my morning routine, I headed out of the bedroom and started for the stairs. I could hear voices downstairs, but I wasn't sure how many. I knew for sure Esme was there, and she was who I needed. It was her strength that I knew I could take comfort in. She and Renee had become such close friends for a reason, and I felt as if I could be close to Renee in some way by being close to her. I followed the voices into the kitchen area Esme had showed me the night before. She and Carlisle were sitting at a small table in the corner of the room. They were clearly deep in conversation and neither realized I had walked into the room. I cleared my throat to announce myself, and their eyes shifted to the doorway where I was standing. "Good morning Bella dear. Did you sleep well?" prompted Esme.

I thought for a moment on how to reply to that question. If I said yes, it would be a lie, although I had slept, it just wasn't soundly. The bed had been comfortable, and I had definitely been exhausted, but I was up far too early in the morning to claim I had slept well. So, I settled for polite honesty, "Probably as good as could be expected," was my retort. "The room's lovely and the bed very comfortable. I just want to thank you again for all your support."

"Can I get you anything? Are you hungry? What about thirsty? Do you drink coffee? I just made a fresh pot if you'd like some. Perhaps you'd like to watch a movie?" Esme inquired. The fact that she did not suggest watching television or reading the paper was not lost on me. I found it comforting that she was trying so hard to avoid me seeing anything that might pertain to the accident. It was also clear that she felt almost useless and had to offer everything and anything she could think of in order to remain comfortable. "We could also just sit and talk, if you'd like," she continued. I glanced around the kitchen that I had barely looked at the night before. It really was a lovely kitchen. There were granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. There was even a marble island in the center of the room. I felt compelled with the need to do something, as well. I had to take my mind off of things, even if it was for a short while. I went for one of my few activities of solace, cooking.

"I actually am a bit hungry, but please don't trouble yourself. I would really prefer to make myself something. I'd enjoy cooking for both of you, too, if you'd like." I replied. I knew cooking would be bittersweet, but I didn't care. At least I could focus on not burning the food, or hurting myself, rather than on the gloomy feeling that seemed to fill the room.

"We actually ate a little earlier, dear. Carlisle and I are early risers. We usually like to grab a light breakfast and some coffee before the kids get up, but thanks for the offer. Perhaps we can take a rain check?" Esme answered. I had almost forgotten they had kids. Well, they had never actually told me they did. I had only overheard that while dozing. I wondered when I would be meeting them.

"Of course," I replied. Then remembered they never formally mentioned children so I prompted, "I didn't realize you had kids. Are they home right now?"

"They both spent the night at a friend's house. We wanted to have some time alone with you to help you get settled in before throwing them upon you," Esme replied. I guess I had given them some impression of how nervous I was at the idea of meeting them so Esme reassured me, "Don't worry. I am sure they will love you. They're fraternal twins your age. Edward is our son, and I'm told many girls find him quite dreamy. As his mother, I am partial to believe that he is quite the catch, but you can decide for yourself. Our daughter is Alice. She's quite the bundle of energy and has already told me she's sure the two of you will be great friends. I am sure that you will get along splendidly. They should be home some time later in the morning."

I took a deep breath and said as politely as I could, although I'm not sure how confident I sounded or how honest I was being, "I look forward to meeting them. Maybe I could make lunch or something for them. I would really like to make a good first impression. My father always favored my cooking, although that could be because he and my mother were cursed with burnt thumbs. You know, how someone who can't garden has a brown thumb, well someone who can't cook must have a burnt one, or at least that's what they always said." Thinking about them like that made me sad. Thankfully, Carlisle and Esme just chuckled at my joke, offering their smiles and understanding. I turned quickly, just in case I couldn't fight off the urge to cry, I just didn't want to do that right then.

Esme came up behind me and showed me where all the pots and pans, utensils, etc. were, then told me to use whatever I liked. I thanked her and got to work on making a Denver Omelet since they had the ingredients for one. I figured the chopping of ham and veggies would be a good distraction, especially because I had to concentrate so hard to avoid cutting myself. Once everything was chopped I set a pan on the stove and waited until it had heated up a little bit. Then I took my cracked eggs and chopped goodies and tossed them all together into the pan. As the omelet cooked I focused on the slight sizzle sound and the smells that came off the pan. I found them comforting.

It didn't take long before the omelet was ready and as I took it off the stove and set in onto the plate, I immediately missed the distraction. The tears that had been welling up before I started cooking began to push their way back into my eyes, blurring my vision and then salting my food with a splash. I must have been gasping or whatever you do when you audibly cry because without delay Esme was behind me. She lightly touched my shoulder and turned me toward her, directing me to cry in her embrace. It was comfortable being in her arms, and she had a soothing floral scent. As I focused on the warmth of our contact and let her scent fill me up, I began to calm. Thankfully, the crying didn't last long. I told Esme that I was okay and thanked her, then turned back to the plate, examining the omelet that had gotten an unexpected seasoning. It wasn't ruined or anything, not even really cold, so I picked it up and quietly headed to the table. We all sat in silence while I ate, both of them eyeing me every now and again in quick glances, hoping that I wouldn't catch them. It was sweet the way they were looking out for me, like I was one of their own. I suddenly wondered if my parents would have been the named guardians of Edward and Alice, and if the tables had been turned would this have been what it was like for them? Just as quickly as I let that thought enter my mind, however, I forced it to exit because the tables weren't turned and wallowing in these thoughts wasn't going to do anything to help the situation. In fact, thinking that way was only going to make me hurt more, so I pushed the thoughts deep into my mind and locked them away.

After I finished eating, I began cleaning up my mess, although Esme insisted it wasn't necessary and she would take care of it, I just couldn't leave things like that. It made me uncomfortable. So instead, Esme decided to help me when she realized I wasn't going to leave things for her to do. When we were both done she took me on a formal tour of the house, since I hadn't seen much the night before. The house itself was rather large. There was a formal dining room, just off the kitchen, after walking through there we entered a small hallway, to my right was a full bathroom and on the left was a parlor where a beautiful baby grand stood, the hallway led out to a deck with a table and chair set, a porch swing, and a grill. Given the traditional weather in the area, I couldn't imagine it saw much use, but it was a beautiful view. The house itself backed right up against a wooded area. It reminded me a little of the woods I liked to roam through back at my house. At least there was one thing that would be the same. She showed me the other guest rooms and reminded me that I could move into a different one if I liked, I thanked her but declined. I liked the room she'd placed me in, and it looked to be the largest out of all of them. Once I told her my decision, she quickly made it clear that I could feel free to personalize it, suggesting that we could go shopping for supplies whenever I wanted. She explained her enjoyment of interior design and told me that if I wanted any help she would be more than happy to provide it. Besides housing the guest rooms, the second floor was also home to Carlisle's study, a room we did not enter, but she pointed out. We did not tour the third floor, but she mentioned that it was where all the other bedrooms were.

The final stop on the tour was the living room. I had vaguely remembered seeing it the night before, but in the daylight and my state of awareness it was beautiful. It was a grand open space, actually most of the main floor was fairly open, minus the hallway between the dining area and the door to the deck. The room was decorated in clean white tones. They weren't all the same shade, which worked to give the room warmth and style. Set against all that white I began to take in the fact that the house had a lot of windows in it. There was a large picture window in the front of the room on the wall with the entrance door to the house. The door faced the stairway to the second and third floors. The perpendicular wall held a flat panel big screen TV set above a large fireplace. Those were the only two walls in the space leaving the rest of the area wide open. The furniture in the room fit the space well. There was a large sofa and loveseat set together in a sort of L shape near the center of the room. In front of them was a large glass coffee table. Placed near the fireplace, there was a large leather lounge chair. It looked perfect for getting cozy by the fire with a good book. Next to the chair was an end table that matched the coffee table, and set on top of it was a beautiful lamp. The base of the lamp was a sculpted gold, probably plated metal, with a curving branch and leaves upon which sat a bird, perched on top of the base was a white shade that appeared to be trimmed in gold at the top and bottom, and to finish it off, there was a crystal finial at the crown. Yup, it was perfect for reading.

I didn't have much time to consider the comfort of the chair because shortly after walking into the living room the front door swung open. In walked what I assumed must have been Alice. She was short at just under 5 feet, with short and spiky black hair and deep brown eyes. Beautiful wouldn't really describe her; she was almost fairylike. Immediately, I was introduced to her exuberance as she dropped her overnight bag and threw herself into an embrace. "You must be Bella. I'm so excited to finally have a sister! I can't tell you how sorry I am about the circumstances, but I know we're going to become the best of friends. We can go shopping together, gossip, do makeovers; it will be like one never ending girls' day and sleepover. Oh, I can't wait to introduce you to my friend Rose, well Rosalie, but we call her Rose, she's dating my brother's friend Emmett. He's a great big burly teddy bear of a guy; I know he'll just love you. Jasper, Rose's brother is my boyfriend. He's just the sweetest guy. Edward is with both the guys at Emmett's right now, probably playing some stupid video game or being macho, but you'll meet him soon enough. Anyway, I know you're going to just love them all!"

"Alice, breathe dear." Esme interrupted her. I'm glad she did. I was starting to fear Alice might pass out from lack of oxygen. I couldn't see where in her rant she could have taken a breath. "Perhaps you could let go of Bella now too. I'm pretty sure you're squeezing her tight enough to be cutting off the flow of blood to her brain."

"Oh, right. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just so excited to meet you, and well, I get kind of carried away sometimes, or at least so I've been told," she laughed at her joke and it sounded a little like the jingling of bells.

"It's okay," I told her. "I'm glad you're so welcoming. I'm just not much for all of the attention. It makes me uncomfortable. I get that from my dad; or rather I got that from him." Tears began to well up in my eyes again. Simultaneously Esme and Alice rushed to my aid, and I was crushed in their soothing embrace before I had a chance to tell them I was okay. "No, it's fine. I'll be alright. I just need a second to collect myself. Would you please excuse me?" I called out from in between them.

"Of course, Bella, whatever you need," Esme cooed. I headed upstairs to the room I had claimed as mine and went to the bathroom to splash cool water on my face. The touch of the water was refreshing and just what I needed. Then I sat down on the bed to collect myself. Well, meeting Alice had been interesting, to say the least. I wasn't sure if I could handle all of her energy, but I was willing to make the effort with her. She seemed to have inherited Esme's sweet disposition, and I could tell she really was a nice person, even if she could get carried away. I hoped and prayed that Edward would be just as friendly. Alice and I could bond over the fact we were both girls, but what would he and I bond over? After one last deep breath, I stood up and headed back toward the stairs. Just as I got close to the bottom of the stairs the front door opened. In the doorway stood the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. I could only compare him fairly to a Greek God like Adonis. His hair was bronze in color, and he wore it in that sexy messy kind of way. He was just over six feet tall, and he looked to be fit, not like body builder muscular, more like a slender muscular. The thing that stood out most was his eyes, though. They were a beautiful shade of green that I couldn't quite place. I was frozen on the steps by his appearance. Suddenly, I realized I had not only stopped moving but stopped breathing too, and I was staring. In my embarrassment my cheeks began to flush, it was my telltale red flowing to my cheeks, I could feel the heat of it all. For a moment, I thought about turning and heading back up the stairs, maybe no one else knew I was there yet and he would just forget he saw me, but I'm not that lucky. Alice rushed well, more like danced, over to me on the stairs, following Edward's gaze and put her arm around my waist.

"Edward, this is Bella. Bella, this is Edward," her voice tinkled. Then she leaned over and whispered to me, "Don't let him get to you. He's not very social with most girls."

As if he knew what she was saying, his mouth broke out into a crooked smile and he reached forward to shake my hand. "Hi, I'm Edward Cullen, it's nice to meet you Bella," his voice was like velvet as he spoke. I timidly reached out to shake his hand in return, and when I did it was like a jolt of lightning went through my body. _There must have been some kind of static electricity transfer_, I thought. After I pulled my hand back I smiled awkwardly, a smile which he returned with his own, and then as if he was as nervous as I was about meeting, he ran his hand through his messy hair, making it just a little bit messier and sexier at the same time. _Oh crap_, I thought, _I'm in trouble. I think I have the hots for my new brother. This, could get awkward._

**Okay, so there you have it folks. Bella has now met the whole family and we see that signature spark amongst her and Edward, at least on Bella's side. The quote in this chapter is my **Elizabeth Kubler Ross. Also, there is a pic on my profile of the lamp I mentioned here. By the way, the description for the Escalade from the last chapter I go using the Cadillac website, if you want to see more, just Google it. Finally, I realize that some of the traits my Bella portrays may seem a little out of character, but first and foremost you must consider it's all in her head. Outwardly she is still the same shy and fairly polite girls we all know and love. Plus, she is dealing with the serious business of losing her folks, so that reflects in the tone and language of the narrative. The next chapter holds info on the funeral and maybe a little Edward's POV on meeting Bella. We all know Bella was floored, but how did Edward feel?


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note:** ** My Edward isn't Twilight Edward, but he's human and current so his mannerisms and speech will be different from the 1918 Edward we know. Thanks so much to those of you who take the time to review. It's great to see so many people reading this fic and putting it as a favorite and/or on alert, and the reviews really push me to write faster. I love hearing what you think, good or bad. So if you've taken 2 seconds to type me a Love it! Or Keep it up! Or anything of that nature, THANK YOU! The teacher in me wants to give each of you a sticker of Awesomeness. I know, begging for reviews is pathetic, and most of you probably have just skipped this note to get to the good stuff, but please review if you can. I like hearing your thoughts, however short they may be. Alright, all that said without further delay, I give you Chapter 4.**

_**EDWARD'S POV**_

Staying the night at Emmett's had been a bitch. He and Jasper were both laying into me about turning down yet another girl for a date. It wasn't like I was gay or anything; it's just that the girls that hit on me didn't really seem to have much to offer, in my opinion. They just weren't worth my time. To make matters worse, apparently Alice had opened her great big mouth and told Jazz about this girl that was coming to stay with us. Carlisle and Esme had called her last night to fill her in on all the details, although they didn't grace me with them. I guess they thought she would need to know more. I don't know why. Anyways, I hadn't even met her yet, and already I was supposed to be destined to be with her. Whatever. The whole idea was frustrating as hell. I hated it when people tried to manipulate me, and I could tell the both Em and Jazz had dirty thoughts on their minds, you didn't need to be a mind reader to know that.

So, after spending most of the night and part of the morning hearing about how I was being a pansy, or being teased about whatever Alice told Jazz, I'd kind of had it. I couldn't wait to get back home and just chill out listening to music in my room, or maybe I'd play my piano, that always seemed to calm me down. I stood outside the front door for a second taking deep breaths and preparing for whatever was on the other side. Not that I believe in all that fate bullshit, but I was definitely feeling some pressure. For one thing, I wondered why I wasn't told anything about this Bella coming. There was going to be some explaining required, and I hoped it would be before meeting Bella, that was for sure. After taking one last breath I opened the door. Unfortunately for me, I must have the worst luck in the world because as I gazed in front of my I was faced with the one person I need to avoid before getting the facts. The stranger in front of me had to be Bella. Immediately, I was captivated by her. She was beautiful, not like model beautiful, but simple beautiful. She seemed to have a shy air around her that said she had no idea how attractive she was. Her skin was pale, delicate looking like a china doll; her face was heart shaped and her body slender helping to showcase her cheekbones and prominent chin. Her hair, deep brown in color, was draped over her shoulder with silkiness to it. She had a broad forehead, and her hair formed a widows peak at the top, almost pointing to what I felt was her most captivating feature, her eyes. Staring straight into her eyes that resembled melted chocolate, I felt my breath catch. She was staring at me by I couldn't quite tell why, at least not until she started blushing. I must have made her nervous. The blush was cherry red and it flooded her cheeks like a wave filling a tide pool. I was speechless. Saving me from myself and my poor manners, Alice bounded over to the stairs. She politely introduced me to Bella and then I'm pretty sure she whispered some kind of joke in her ear. Digging deep into my manners data base, I gave Bella a smile and extended my hand. "Hi, I'm Edward Cullen, it's nice to meet you Bella," I said. I hoped that I came across sounding confident, then I felt like an idiot for giving my last name, I'm sure she already knew it, plus truthfully I didn't need to mention my name as Alice had already introduced me. _You're screwing this up!_ I told myself. _Just calm down. It's just another girl for fuck's sake!_ But when Bella took my hand, I knew she was far from just another girl. There was some kind of charge that flowed between us, and it scared the shit out of me. We parted hands and I hoped mine hadn't been all sweaty and gross. She smiled at me, and I politely responded with my own. Then I remembered what Alice had said about Bella being my destiny or something. _No way!_ I thought. _There's just no fucking way._ _I am in control of my own like. Aren't I?_

The idea made me uncomfortable, and my hand immediately went up to run through my hair, my nervous habit giving me away. I saw a twinkle in Alice's eye so I knew she caught the move, but I hoped Bella didn't catch the meaning, and if she did I shouldn't have cared. _I am in charge of my own life. _I told myself._ I am in control. It is my choice what happens here. No one can control this but me._ And with that thought, I dropped my hand back to its place at my side, and excused myself, using the need to put my bag into my room as a cover. I carefully passed Bella on the steps trying to avoid contact with her again, and once past her I took the steps two at a time, not stopping until I reached my room. Once there I locked the door, threw my bag haphazardly on the floor, and dropped myself face down on the bed. Then I grabbed the nearest pillow, buried my face in it and let out a loud "FUCK" into it. This was going to get complicated, I could just tell; but for now, I was going to be in control, and to do that I needed to get my shit together, so I decided to just hang in my room for a little longer.

**Bella's POV**

With Edward quickly excusing himself and seeming to try to avoid at all costs, I took it as a sign, that my thoughts were wrong. No way, was he nervous about meeting me. Maybe he was being tickled by a stray hair or something, and that was why he had to brush his hair with his palm. It wasn't clear why he did it, but I could definitely see he wasn't into me. Why would he be? Things would still get awkward but not in a "we're ready to jump each other's bones kind of way." Yup, it was clear that Edward did not seem to share those same feeling with me, and for some reason he didn't even want to be in the same vicinity. "Don't worry about him," Alice soothed, "I have a feeling he'll come around." _Right; he'll come around_, I thought. Well, I wasn't going to wait for him to come around; I had too much on my plate now to add him to it anyway. "So listen, I know I already said this, but I really am sorry Bella. If you need to talk or anything, I'm here for you." When Alice said that, I knew it was the truth, but I wasn't really ready to talk, at least not much.

"I know, Alice, and thanks for that, but I'm really not prepared to talk all that much right now. There's just too much going on in my head."

"I understand, but just remember I'm here for you, okay?"

"I will, and thanks again." She gave me another little hug, and excused herself from the room, needing to put her own things away too. As she trudged up the stairs I turned to look at Carlisle and Esme standing in the living room. Their faces were blank of emotion. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but before I could decide, the phone rang. Esme walked over and answered it. I caught the one-sided conversation and knew that I was going to be forced to talk about at least part of the situation soon. Sure enough, after Esme hung up she turned to focus on me for a second, the looked at Carlisle and informed us that the funeral home was calling about making arrangements.

"You don't have to worry about a thing Bella. Your parents already outlined everything to us, so we'll take care of it. Of course, if there is anything that you would like to add or change, we would never stop you as long as it falls within your parents' wishes. Perhaps we can go into the kitchen to sit down and discuss all of this over some coffee or tea?" Esme directed us to the table where I had sat just a short while before thinking about the shoe being on the other foot; again, I wished it was. "Now Bella, your parents requested that they be cremated. Your father asked that his ashes be scattered over his favorite fishing spot. He found this part so important in fact, that he even detailed a map of the lake and gave us photographs of the spot." I chuckled a little at that thought. It was typical Charlie to want his final resting place to be somewhere he could fish all day long. "Renee insisted that she was and will always be a free spirit. So she would simply like us to set her free into the wind. Would you like to pick the spot for that, or would you prefer we do?" She asked.

"Um, I don't really know. Do I have to decide right now?" I replied.

"Of course not dear, we'll worry about that later. Now as far as an actual ceremony goes, they were adamant that it should be a celebration. No one is to be wallowing in misery, their words, not ours. We, of course, have a list of all those they had wanted to invite, at least at the time this was arranged, but perhaps we could go over the list together and you could help me update it?" She half stated and half asked. I just nodded, not trusting my voice at the time. I wondered how long ago they had set this up. When did they decide that this was the route to take? Why had they gone into so much detail? Maybe, Renee had talked to a psychic? Not that I believed in such things, but maybe she had heard disturbing news that threw her into this spiral of preparation. I wasn't sure whether I should have been relieved or worried by that thought. I mean, I was comforted by not having to worry about all the ending details, but it concerned me that they felt compelled to do something like this but never mentioned it to me. Again, I wondered why I had been left so in the dark. Something about this still didn't seem to make sense. All my silence and lack of focus seemed to give Esme a sign that I'd had enough. "You look tired, Dear. We can finish this later. Why don't you go upstairs to bed and try to get some more rest. This will all still be here when you're feeling better." Two things were wrong with that statement; I might never actually be "feeling better" and knowing that it will all still be around left me unsettled. How was I going to rest now?

I simply sighed, nodded, and tried to give both Carlisle and Esme a reassuring smile before turning to leave the room and head upstairs. As I climbed the stairs to the room that now apparently belonged to me, there was again more talk, and I was half tempted to eavesdrop, but my parents taught me better than that. So I just continued on my trek. Once in my room, I closed the door, hoping for some solitude, and collapsed on the bed. I'm not sure how long I had lay there, or if I had even fallen asleep, but the silence in the room was broken up by a knock a timid knock on the door. From the other side I heard the chiming of Alice's voices asking to come in. "The door's unlocked." I told her.

"Um, hi," she said after entering the room. She stood in the doorway a picture right out of a fashion magazine. Her clothes were trendy a lively. They fit her personality well. "So, I was thinking, I don't know if anyone has ever made my little brother so nervous before." _What? _Her comment came right out of left field and shocked the hell out of me.

"What do you mean, I made him nervous? I made him something, but I don't think nervous was one of them. He seemed like he couldn't wait to leave the room."

"He was in a hurry to leave, but not for any reason you can think of. Did you see him rub his hand through his hair?" I just nodded. "Well, that's his nervous habit. It's what his does when he gets unnerved." _Oh, I thought._ "I wasn't sure if I should say anything, but decided it was better to bring it up now, than have you thinking that Edward didn't like you or something. I can see that I made the right choice."

"Um, thanks for that, I guess. So listen, about him…" the conversation was interrupted when we heard footsteps on the stairs echoing down the hall. Alice glanced in their direction, and then turned to me with a smirk.

"Hey little brother," she chimed.

"You know I hate it when you call me that, Alice," his smooth voice called out.

"Well I AM older, even if it is by only a few minutes," she rolled her eyes and smiled playfully.

"Just remember sister dear, I AM bigger and by more than a few inches too," he chuckled at his little joke as he passed by, putting his hand out above her to show the height difference in order to drive his point home. When he looked up at me, I could see the smile behind his eyes, and I melted. Then I mentally chastised myself for the reaction. It was wrong, and on so many levels, too. I liked their carefree dynamic. With little experience with sibling rivalry, it was clear that they really loved each other. They were so playful, and I thought I might be able to get used to this, someday. It would just have to wait a little while, that's all. After a few second, we heard him call down the hall "Oh, and Alice, you and I need to have a talk about a certain conversation you had with Jazz. I hope you know it caused me severe distress last night."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she responded, but the smirk that seemed to be hiding behind her eyes said differently. "Whatever it was though, you're a BIG boy as you just pointed out, so I'm sure you can handle yourself." Then she giggled and turned back towards me, "He can be such a baby sometimes," a smile on her face. "You're going to help me mess with him, aren't you? It will be so much fun to have company in my scheming." She looked at me expectantly.

"I don't have much experience with this sort of thing, but sure. Why not? It seems like fun." She squealed and threw herself on the bed next to me. Her excitement was contagious, and I found myself smiling right along with her. I didn't even have to force it. Another one of her hugs came next, and then she began to pull me off the bed.

"Come on, it's almost lunch time and I'm STARVING. Let's go downstairs and find a few more ways to torture my brother while we wait to eat."

"Actually, I thought I'd make lunch for everyone. Cooking is something that I enjoy doing, and I already talked with Carlisle and Esme about it this morning."

"Oh well, okay. Let's go get you into that kitchen then, and we can plan while you cook." Piano music carried up the stairs, and I looked at Alice inquisitively, "That's just Edward. He likes to play the piano when he feels like he needs to relax or something. He's been doing it as long as I can remember." The music was beautiful, and I was frozen in place momentarily just enjoying the concert. "Come on! He can serenade you while you cook. This will be great!" With a big smile on her face and our hands locked together we headed for the stairs.

Once in the kitchen, I was really in my element. I decided to make a light lunch, but one that hopefully would impress, at least a little. I took out some chicken breasts and cut them into little tenders, then rolled them in some shredded parmesan cheese. I let them sit while I heated up a pan with a little olive oil in it, preparing to fry them up. While that was going on, I boiled some water for some corkscrew pasta I'd found. I thought a nice Italian style pasta salad would be a good side dish. So, I chopped up some green and yellow peppers, some red onion, and some black olives. By the time I was done with that, my water was boiling and the pan had heated. I quickly added the noodles, and carefully placed my chicken tenders into the pan. The entire time I was cooking Edward's piano playing was joined by Alice's babble. I actually was having a hard time focusing on what she was saying, only half listening and adding small interjectory syllables like oh and hmm so she didn't think I didn't care about her, but Edwards playing was so lovely that I truly wasn't listening to her. Each time he started a new song, I tried to identify it. I was only able to pick out a few pieces, like a couple by Beethoven, including Moonlight Sonata, and I also spotted Debussy's Clair de Lune in the mix. Most of what he played I didn't recognize, which surprised me because I always thought of myself as a music connoisseur. I found myself getting lost in the music and had to keep reminding myself to focus on my cooking; it wouldn't impress anyone if I burnt the meal.

When the pasta was tender I removed it from the stove and drained it in the sink, running it under some cold water to help cool it down for the salad. I had already turned the chicken once and the coloring was a perfect gold, so they were just about done too. I decided we needed one last thing to set off the meal, so I preheated the toaster oven, took some Italian bread and sliced it, then created a quick garlic paste out of garlic powder and butter mixed together. I slathered the spread onto the slices and put them into the toaster oven to crisp. While they were toasting, I put the pasta in a large bowl and tossed it with the vegetables and some sliced pepperoni along with some Italian salad dressing. I added a little grated parmesan and tossed it one last time, then sprinkled the shredded parmesan on top for a little added character. I removed the chicken from the pan and arranged it on a serving platter, sprinkling it with some Italian herbs from the spice cabinet to add appeal. I grabbed the final side from the toaster oven and arranged it in a little wicker basket I had found that I'd lined with some paper towel. With the meal finished, I took everything into the dining room and placed it in the center of the table. At some point while I was cooking up a storm, the table had been set by Carlisle and Esme, the aroma of lunch distracting them from other things. Even Edward had stopped playing and was standing in the entrance to the hallway looking anxious. They had filled glasses with some ice water and placed a pitcher in the center. There was also a glass of milk at each spot. I waited a moment for everyone else to take their seats, not wanting to steal someone's spot at the table, and then took the remaining chair. I was seated with Alice on my right and Esme on my left. Directly across from me sat Edward with his messy hair and dreamy eyes. "This looks delicious Bella," Carlisle spoke with eagerness in his voice, "thank you so much." His appreciation was echoed around the table.

"It was really no trouble; thank you for letting me cook for you," I replied with a warmth matching the heat that flowed in my cheeks. My eyes flickered around the table, and when I met Edward's I quickly looked down. Shortly after that Esme prompted for us to join hands for a quick saying of grace. I was thankful for the need to look down, and even more grateful that I was not holding Edward's hand. I still wasn't all that comfortable with the feelings I had, or the ones Alice said he seemed to share. Esme's angelic voice thanked God for the food, good health, and then her family naming each member in turn, including me. My stomach flipped at that thought. I hadn't done the whole grace thing with Charlie and Renee, and I still wasn't sure if there was truly a God, but I was glad for the kindness of the Cullens; it truly was a blessing, and it was nice to hear Esme thought of me as family already. With a choral Amen, the meal began in a fashion matching the food. Carlisle picked up the salad bowl first, scooped out a portion and then passed it to Alice, who passed it to me, and so on, until Edward took some for himself and place the rest back into the center of the table. The same was done with the chicken and garlic bread until everyone had some. And then lunch continued at a casual pace. There were comments made about how good everything was at the start, then thankfully the attention turned away from me. Carlisle spoke with Esme about work, then they both as the kids about their "sleepovers" although they avoided the word given its youthful inclination. There was talk about school, as well, which brought back the pit in my stomach. I hadn't given much thought to school, but clearly I would have to change schools now. That was just great, at least it was towards the start of the year and it's not like I had a whole lot of friends that I would miss. It's hard to believe a few short weeks ago I had been "celebrating" my seventeenth birthday, meaning I'd turned seventeen and my parents had given me a gift and their well wishes and let the remainder of the event go fairly unnoticed. That's how I preferred it. Being the center of attention was something I tried to avoid at all costs.

I was brought back to the present by Esme's voice, "Bella, dear, I'm sure that you have concerns about school. Edward and Alice attend a local private school, and while we aren't all that far out of Forks, we'd prefer if you joined them. The school itself has a smaller student body and wonderful academics. I'm sure you would love it there. You don't have to start right away either. I know you'll need some time to collect yourself before tackling a new school."

"Um, I don't really know what to say," I replied honestly.

"Say you'll come to our school silly! It would be so great to have you around. I'll introduce you to everyone that matters, and you won't be alone. Edward and I will both watch out for you. Please say you'll come…" Alice pleaded. She even did a little pouty lip and puppy dog eye look at me. How could I resist that?

"Okay. Sure, I guess." I responded timidly.

"Good, we'll contact Forks High and have your records transferred right away. At the very least you can take this coming week off, and maybe the next. You could even wait and start with the beginning of the new quarter if you like?" Esme declared.

"That's sounds fine. I'll think about it and let you know."

"Whatever you like, dear. Well, now that that's settled. Who wants some ice cream?" Groans erupted around the table along with postponing comments. Everyone claimed they were too full. Again, I was thanked for dinner, and we all stood up to help clean up. Esme insisted that I relax; in fact she roped Carlisle, Edward and Alice into kitchen detail, insisting she needed some time one on one with me. Then she guided me out of the room and because it was a fairly nice day we headed outside to the deck. Once we were outside with the door firmly closed behind us she turned to me and said, "So, how are you holding up? Do you need anything?"

"I'm okay for now. Actually, I was doing some thinking about what we talked about earlier, about where we should go for my mom, and I think I know the perfect place. We used to go there sometimes as a family, although mom and I weren't much into hiking, it was always a place of peace and she insisted it was always worth the trip."

"Where's that Dear?"

"Hurricane Ridge in Olympic National Park, there's this meadow we would visit during the summertime when the weather would cooperate. With the flowers in bloom and the mountain in the background, Mom used to say it was like a little slice of heaven, especially when the sun came out and seemed to gleam on the moisture resting on the petals and grass. I think she'd be at peace there and still feel free."

"That sounds like a lovely idea, Bella. I'm sure your mother really appreciates all of the thought you put into it. I'll look into making the arrangements. About the memorial service, would you like to pick the day and time, or would you prefer I do it? Also, would you like to have all the guests around when you scatter the ashes, or would you prefer that to stay private? Oh, and speaking of guests we do have to look at the guest list sometime soon." When I didn't respond she continued, "I'm sorry if this is overwhelming. I can't imagine what it's like to lose your parents so young."

"I'm fine, Esme, really. In truth, I'd kind of like to just get it all over with, you know? I feel like the sooner I do that, the sooner I can move on. So, to answer your questions, please go ahead and pick whatever date and time you like, and you can decide about the ashes too. I don't really care either way, and I appreciate you taking the responsibility off of me. As far as the guest list goes, I don't mind looking at it right now, so you can move on with whatever else needs to be done."

"Alright Dear, I'll just go grab it really quickly and be right back. I'd rather do this here, while we're alone, and I'm sure you would too." She placed her hand on my shoulder as she stood up to head back into the house.

"Thank you Esme; for everything," I told her and placed my hand on top of hers. I watched her walk away and then turned back to the quiet expanse of the woods in front of me. I still couldn't quite grasp what had happened, and wondered if it ever would truly sink in. I wondered who was on the guest list and worried about seeing all of those people. This was one time I couldn't avoid being the center of attention, even if it wasn't my service. I didn't want anyone's sympathy, I wanted there to be no reason for it. Because that wasn't possible, I just wanted to be able to skip past all the sadness and move on to normalcy, whatever that was. I sighed and closed my eyes, focusing on the sounds around me. There were birds chirping in the trees, bugs buzzing around, and from behind me I heard the faint sounds of a piano playing. I focused on the music and lost myself in that world, Edward's world, until I was drowning in it and the calm washed over me.

**One final thought, school is getting to be back in session so I will likely only update once a week, probably on the weekend. Put me on story alert to make your life easier, and thanks for following along. Links on my profile to Moonlight Sonata and Clair de Lune, plus Hurricane Ridge.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Up front, I apologize for being later on this chapter. I was sick to my stomach over the past few days and couldn't get anything done. Be happy I chose to finish this for you guys before doing my other things, though. This chapter should have a little bit for everyone. I will be popping between POVs for a bit; I just felt the need to share both Bella and Edward's thoughts. Also, in hopes of making things easier on the eyes to read, I've kicked grammar to the curb in terms of paragraphing, just FYI. As always, thanks for your reviews. I love hearing from you. Okay, we're starting with our main POV, Bella.**

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes I found myself draped in a lovely afghan crocheted in blues, greens, and creams. The color combination was soothing and seemed to fit the surroundings as well as my mood. From behind me I heard a door closing and jumped a bit in the chair. "I didn't mean to startle you," an earnest voice said.

I immediately recognized the voice as Edward's and struggled to get to my feet. It turned out to be a bad idea as my poor sense of balance and pension for disaster caused my feet to get all tangled in the blanket, and before I knew it, I was on a collision course toward the decking. I prepared myself for the impact as best I could, but my hands were wrapped up in the blanket too! Crochet and I didn't mix; too many holes for me to stick my appendages into.

Too much time passed and still no contact was made. In fact, I seemed to be moving in the opposite direction. When I opened my eyes, I looked down to the new pressure I felt around my waist. Edward had interlocked his hands around me and was pulling me back into a standing position. I felt that familiar rush of red and knew I was blushing, and it only got worse.

Once back steadily on my feet, I started to untangle myself from the blanket and turn towards Edward to offer my gratitude. The problem being, I was still no more stable that before and my left foot got caught in the afghan at my feet as I rotated throwing me right into Edward's arms once more.

This time our chests pressed together, and I could have sworn I felt a slight brush from Edward's face on my hair, probably just my imagination. His smell was unbelievable, like a cross between honey, lilac, and sunshine, if that was possible. "I'm so sorry! I'm such a klutz," I spouted. I sounded like I was on the edge of hysterics and stilled myself. "Thank you for catching me…twice," my voice was hushed as I pulled back and stared into his eyes during my words of appreciation.

"Don't worry about it. It was partly my fault anyways for sneaking up on you. Besides, no one in this house would ever forgive me if I let you face plant out here. They'll probably already be pissed at me for waking you up. I just came out to start up the grill for dinner."

"Dinner? I slept that long?" It was then that I realized the sky was significantly darker than it had been when I first came out, the sun having ducked behind the trees on its trek across the sky. "I'm so embarrassed. I'm not the kind of person who sleeps the day away. In fact, my mom used to joke that I was her Energizer Bunny." I giggled softly at the comment, and then the grief of missing her hit me. I started to cry.

"Oh God, please don't cry Bella. They're going to kill me if they find out that I woke you up, scared you enough to nearly fall and break your neck, and made you shed tears. What can I do to make you feel better?" I was nervous about my response.

Comfort seemed like the best idea, but was it appropriate to ask him to make that kind of contact? To be perfectly honest I didn't think it was right, not only because of how he may be uncomfortable, but also for what it could lead to for me. One way to deal with misery, besides having company, was to have sex. It's true! I read an article about it in Times Online that says sex is therapeutic. Of course reading about it was the extent to my experience with sex. I settled for silence and collecting myself. He wrapped his arms tightly around me instinctively anyways, and I inhaled deeply taking in his scent. His warmth and his scent combined to send a sweet cocktail rushing through my body and heading south.

"I'm okay now, really. I think it was just everything hitting me at once. I was just so embarrassed about everything. You know, sleeping the day away, nearly falling on my face twice in front of you of all people, maybe I'll try for a third later though, I really enjoyed your rescues." Shit, did I really just say that? No brain filter, ugh! Embarrassed again the tears flowed, and he held me tighter. Sweet Jesus I was hoping he'd never let me go. This moment could be perfect if I just stopped crying.

"Edward, is the grill ready? The steaks are all marinated, set to room temp, and ready to…What on Earth did you do to Bella?" Esme's voice wafted over from behind Edward, and he seemed to be on target with the result of my crying. "Why are you crying Dear?" she asked me.

I quickly pushed away from Edward, ashamed of being caught in the position and of the thoughts running through my mind. "I'm fine, really. It wasn't Edward's fault. Please don't be angry with him. I was just a little embarrassed about something, and Edward was just comforting me." Although, I think I had gotten more than comfort out of it, and I silently thanked God that he gave women a not so obvious indication of arousal.

Esme looked from me to Edward and then back to me and said "Well, we'll just go inside now Dear, everything will be all right, and don't you worry about a thing." She was being slightly patronizing, but I didn't care at the moment so I let her lead me away. Before leaving she leaned over and whispered something in Edward's ear, and I silently prayed she wasn't chastising him. Once inside she led me into the living room, and we sat down on the sofa. "Do you want to talk about it?" she questioned.

"Not really, no. I really am fine now, I swear. In fact, I'd like to focus on something else. Perhaps we could go over the invite list, or maybe I could help with something for dinner?" I suggested in hopes of leading her away from the scene she had just beheld.

"Well, we already have dinner nearly set, and I was hoping to save this list for later when we had more time, but if that's what you would like to do…" I nodded timidly in response, "then that's what we'll do. I'll just go get the list."

"I promise not to fall asleep on you this time," I joked back. I hoped that the humor would help her move past the awkward moment she'd walked in on. While she was gone I reflected back on it, having none of the shame I probably should have for feeling as I did given the circumstances.

**Edward's POV**

Before my mom led Bella back into the house she whispered something about affection, responsibility, and destiny in my ear, but I was too distracted to really hear. I tried to figure out what had just happened. Had I heard Bella correctly? Was she really just hitting on me? She was in a tough place right now, and I'm sure she was just looking for a distraction. How did I really feel about being one? I mean sure, Bella was attractive and I felt somehow drawn to her, but I also had set my mind to exerting my independence and control over my own life.

I couldn't help but remember how I felt having my arms wrapped around her, though. When she fell for the first time and I settled my hands on her hips, I didn't want to let go once I had her upright again. Then she took that second tumble, and we ended up with our hearts pressed against one another. I could feel the hummingbird flutter of hers, and prayed that she was too shaken to feel mine.

Her proximity intoxicated me, sending waves of some floral scent through my senses. I couldn't quite pin it down, maybe it was freesia or lilac, and desperate as I was, I didn't want to ask her for fear of breaking the moment. So, I tried to nonchalantly get a deeper breath. Brushing my nose to her hair I inhaled, and as the scent accosted me in its intensified state, my body responded as any male's would. Aware of my reaction I quickly made sure we were distanced enough that she wouldn't be able to tell and thanked God I was wearing a sweater that was long and bulky enough to hide the bulge should it still be there when we parted.

Of course, I didn't have anything to worry about in that department, because like any man, the entrance of the mom was enough to will the beast down, and I was no exception. I silently cursed her arrival and dreaded the suspicions our closeness and Bella's tear streaked face would arouse. When the response came, I wasn't surprised. Thankfully, Bella set the record straight, but I still felt like crap, and in her absence the questions began to flow.

Snapping back to the present, my self-imposed query continued. How could I have been having these thoughts? What was I doing taking advantage of her like that? Why didn't it bother as much as it probably should? When the hell did I become so introspective? I didn't get much farther than that as my father came out with a platter of steaks. "There's nothing like grilling some steaks on a crisp autumn day, you know Edward?" He blurted.

"I know Dad, 'grilling is man's work, or at least one of the few ways to make oneself useful for meals,'" I quoted his typical grilling time spiel, and he laughed then placed the steaks on the hot grill.

"So, um, what did you do to Bella? She looked as though she'd been crying, and I'm pretty sure your mom will want to chat with you about it later."

"Nothing, Dad, I didn't do anything, and mom's already sort of talked to me. Honestly, she says she was crying because she was embarrassed. When I came out, I startled her and when she tried to get up, she got all tangled up in the blanket mom threw on her. I caught her before she fell, but then she started to tumble again. If Mom is going to be mad at anyone it should be herself for putting that stupid fish net thing her in the first place."

"It's a crotched blanket, and your mother was only trying to help."

"Well so was I, and I don't appreciate getting the third degree about it. Why do you both assume that I had something to do with making her cry? She's grieving and probably cries at the drop of a hat. Women tend to be more emotional anyways, right? That fact is likely compounded by hormones; at least that's what they said in health class at school, so please stop blaming me."

"You don't have to get so testy, Edward. We're just trying to make things as comfortable as possible for her, and we don't need anyone adding to her stress load. Yes, you're right that she is likely on an emotional overload, but who can blame her? Please just try to put yourself in her shoes at the moment. In all good relationships, one must be able to see things from the other's perspective to be truly a success."

"Relationships? Who said we were in a relationship? She fell; I caught her. She cried; I comforted her. End of story." Why did it seem like everyone was trying to push us together?

"Fine, whatever you say, Edward. So what did you mother say to you?"

"I don't remember. It was whispered just before she went in, but I get the feeling that everyone in this house is trying to push Bella and I together, am I wrong?"

"Huh, you don't say." It wasn't lost on me that he simply responded to my observation and didn't confirm or deny anything. "Well, I'm going to go back in and wash off the platter, could you keep and eye on the steaks for me and turn them when you think they're ready?"

"Sure, Dad, I'll watch them. You might want to leave me the tongs, though." He looked down at his hands with an "Oh" expression and walked over to me. Then he turned and went back inside, leaving me to my thoughts once more. His lack of response just got added to my list of unanswered questions, but at least I was breaking outside of myself at this point.

**Bella POV**

Esme returned with the list, and we'd gotten through it all pretty quickly. As far as I could see, there wasn't anyone on it that shouldn't be. In fact, I didn't really know most of the people on the list. It seemed like everyone on the force with Dad was on the list, along with pretty much everyone he knew on the Quileute reservation. With no family to invite, since they had been only children and my grandparents had long since passed away, there was only a small number of other people.

My mom had listed several people that had fluttered in and out of our lives over the past several years, and that capped it off. Esme asked if I had anyone else to add, maybe not for my parents exactly, but more for me. I just shook my head no. Seeing the list of all the people my parents had touched in their lives, it reminded me of just how short their lives were, and it was hard to take. I broke down and cried for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

Esme comforted me, of course, but it just didn't seem to matter. I was finally truly hitting the grief stage of mourning. Once I was calmed down enough, I excused myself to bed, not really feeling up to eating, or anything else for that matter. There I remained for the rest of the night, and even though I left the room for meals, the remainder of the week seemed to flow by in a blur.

Edward and Alice were busy at school during the day, and Carlisle was busy at work, too. Esme remained with me, but spent most of her time attempting to comfort me, or planning the ceremonies. The celebration ceremony was set for Saturday, while the ashes would be spread on Sunday. We had decided to ask some of my dad's fishing buddies to share in his release, but my mom's scatter would be intimate.

Esme told me that if I wanted I could be the only one there, but I didn't like the idea of being alone. So I told her since the Cullen's were now my family, they should be there. They obviously had a special place in my parents' hearts, and they would have wanted it that way. It was decided that just Esme and Carlisle would come, though, seeing as how they had only brief interaction with the twins.

Saturday came with a gloom to match the mood, celebration or not. Calling for a celebration of life and expecting no one to wallow in the death is ridiculous, anyone can tell you that. The ceremony was brief with different people getting up in front of the crowd and sharing some favorite stories about my folks. We sang songs that were supposedly uplifting, and we even released butterflies. Nothing changed the fact that it was still a funeral. It was a rose by any other name type of thing.

Carlisle and Esme opened up their home for the event, and Edward even played the piano. People lingered afterward talking amongst themselves. Everyone stopped by to hug me and ask how I was doing, and for the most part I just thanked them for coming and explained that I was as good as can be expected. Then they'd walk on to speak to someone else, leaving me to suffer my solitude.

As the crowd began to dwindle the only people left were my dad's friends from the reservation. Since they were his fishing buddies they were finalizing the details for dispersing his ashes with Carlisle and Esme. Figuring that I was out of the woods for condolences, I closed my eyes and sank back into the sofa seat. When I felt the cushions near the end shift, I opened my eyes to see a Quileute sitting there. I opened my mouth to direct him to the rest of his group when I noticed he looked fairly young.

"Hi. I'm Jacob. You probably don't remember me, but that's my dad over there Billy. He and your dad were big fishing buddies," he said as he pointed to the man sitting in a wheelchair talking to Carlisle. "We've met before, when you were a lot younger. We used to make mud pies together." I giggled a little at the thought.

"Oh yeah I remember, back when my dad was trying to make me into the son he didn't have, and tried to get me to fish with him. That didn't last long, especially after the first time he told me I'd have to rip a worm in half. I was grossed out by the idea of even touching a worm," I made a screwed up face as I recalled the contact of the slime from a worm. Of course the real truth was I didn't really remember him. I was a little young at the time, and I had a vague recollection of some younger scrawny boy that Billy had dragged with, but that memory was nowhere close to the guy sitting next to me. Judging by his size, Jacob had to be at least my age, I mean he was huge! He had warm looking russet skin, and dark hair and eyes. His hair was long and swept back into a ponytail.

"You know we could always make a mud pie later for old times' sake," his smirk showed hope and dread. "I remember yours were especially delicious."

"Um, thanks, but no thanks. I tend to do my pie making these days in a kitchen and with ingredients that limit my potential exposure to creepy crawlies." We both laughed at that. I was having a surprisingly good time talking with Jacob. He was really easy to talk to and gave off a slight warmth with his presence. He was almost like my own personal sunshine.

"Well, I wouldn't turn down access to one of those pies, either. Maybe we could get together sometime soon? Perhaps under better circumstances?"

"Sure. I guess it couldn't hurt to relive old times, just as long as there are no worms, or insects of any kind involved. What do you do for fun?" And just like that, I was having a getting to know you conversation with Jacob. It was the kind of talk you might have with a guy on your first date, not at your parent's funeral. In fact, talking with Jacob almost made me forget the whole that had ached in my heart for the past several days.

By the time Billy was ready to leave, Jacob and I had already made plans to get together again sometime soon. Jacob had promised to call me later on the following week so we could hash out the details. Both of the said they'd see me at Charlie's release and then took off.

"Well, that went pretty well considering…" I heard Esme saying to Carlisle as they closed the door behind Billy.

"Yes, it did, Dear. You did a wonderful job with all of the details," Carlisle placed his arm around Esme and kissed her temple.

"How are you doing, Dear?" They both asked me simultaneously.

"As good as can be expected. It was actually kind of nice to reconnect with some of the people I haven't seen in years. I'm just sorry it had to be under these circumstances. I didn't remember or know most of the people here, but I guess I had just taken for granted all of the people I've met through my parents over the years."

"Well, most children don't take notice of who their parents associate with, why would they? It's not until you are much older that your start to worry about who your loved ones are 'hanging out with' to use a term from your generation," Carlisle responded.

"That's right, Dear. I would never expect Edward and Alice to know all of our friends, but they can bet that I would want to know about all of theirs. It's a protective instinct you develop with age. When you're young you suffer from superhero syndrome and believe you and everyone around you is untouchable. You get wiser with age," Esme added.

"If nothing else, I know that humans or not infallible and the life is finite, and if I didn't before this experience has proved that."

"Yes, you certainly do. Death has a way of maturing those it impacts. I am both sorry and not that it accelerates that learning process. Perhaps if more youth knew that, I would see so many people come into the hospital after pulling reckless stunts they copied off of Jackass," Carlisle continued after that to share some of his more ridiculous cases. It both shocked me and cheered me up in a way. Some of the stunts were pretty humorous, but when one takes into account the risks associated with it the humor dies away and you're just left with pity for the stupidity of those involved. After Carlisle shared an experience wherein he had to treat some dummy who lit his genitalia on fire after seeing it in the movie, I felt like I'd had enough. That was one image I would not be getting out of my head for a while. Carlisle said it was a long time after that before he could eat a grilled hotdog again, and then chuckled.

"Well, on that happy note, I think I'll be going upstairs."

"It's still early, Bella. Are you sure you don't want to eat something?" Esme inquired.

"No, I'm just tired. Besides I've been munching on your refreshments all day," I lied, and then just for a little added understanding I added, "plus after hearing Carlisle's stories, I don't think that I could stomach anything." They both laughed. Carlisle admitted that everyone else in the family was used to hearing his gross stories and were unaffected, but he'd have to remember I hadn't had the advantage of years of building up the ick tolerance.

"Well, goodnight then, Bella, and please let us know if you need anything okay?" Esme said as she walked over to give me a hug.

"I will, goodnight to you both, and thank you for giving my parents the send off they wanted. I know it's hard, but I also know it would have been harder if I hadn't had you, so thanks."

"You're more than welcome, Dear," they both chimed. Then I headed for the stairs and took them two at a time, anxious for some more alone time. I needed to find a way to scrub some of the mental pictures I had received from Carlisle, out of my brain. I could only hope that bringing them into my mind didn't push something useful out of the way.

Once in my room, I changed into some comfy sweats. Then I washed my face and plopped down on the bed. I was just closing my eyes when I heard a light knock on the door. "It's me, Alice," came the call from the other side, "May I come in?"

"Go ahead, it's unlocked," I replied.

She entered with a smirk on her face and plopped down on the foot of the bed. "Okay, so you and that Indian looked awfully cozy. What's up there?"

**A/N Okay, so I'm leaving you hanging, but hopefully not for too long, since I'm getting this out late. Sorry again for the tardiness, but when you're sick you're sick. Also, I realize the whole mud pie thing was only in the movie, but it fits, so I'm using it. That is all for now, go forth and review! PLEASE?!?!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey there! Thanks for reading! I really appreciate all of you who take time to review, and I do have anonymous reviews turned on, just an FYI. Also, if you are looking for some other good reads, check my profile and my favorites list. I'm still working on it, but it has some good starts. Some of the works listed are complete, while others at least have a good start to them. The question has been asked as to when she will find out about the arranged marriage and the answer is soon, I had to get through all the funeral stuff. Secondly, about introducing Jacob, for those of you not a fan of his, I'm a Team Edward gal, so they won't do much, but there has to be conflict in every good story, so keep that in mind. O.K. enough said, read on.**

Alice sat across from me, an obvious bundle of nerves. I really wasn't going to answer her question, and not because I was ashamed for some feelings, but because I didn't know how to answer her. Reconnecting with Jake was kind of like seeing a long lost brother. That's just how I thought of him.

I mean, sure he was attractive in a dark and huge sort of way, but he wasn't my type. I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea of being with him in that way, but what girl would want to be with someone who had seen them eat mud pies? Then again, what guy would be into that either?

No, I was pretty sure that even though Jake had physically changed a lot, I would always see him as the scrawny boy I barely remembered from my youth, and he was probably seeing the nothing special I was then, although not much had changed. The only thing that had really changed besides aging was that I'd sprouted some boobs. Besides all of this, I didn't want to answer Alice, because I shouldn't have to! "I'm really tired right now and would rather not talk about it. Jake is the son of one of my dad's best fishing buddies, and we were just reconnecting after many years. End of story."

"He looked like he was doing more than reconnecting," she came back.

"Well I wasn't, and it takes two to tango. I barely know him, and I'm sure you just misread the situation. What kind of guy would hit on me at my parent's funeral?"

"You're right, but I think he has more on his mind than a friendship."

"Well, we'll see who's right because he's supposed to call me later this week to hang out."

"That's sounds like plans for a date."

"I don't date, so it wouldn't be like that. I only want to date when there is potential for it to lead to something more important, like marriage, and I'm far too young to be looking at that concept."

"We're the same age, and I'm thinking about it. I've been with Jazz for long enough to know that I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, although I could have told you that even before our first date."

"I bet it was like one of those scenes out of a romantic movie right? Your eyes met from across the room, he swaggered over and confessed his inability to stay away from you, you swooned, and the case was closed."

"Something like that, only I didn't swoon, and he more or less stumbled than staggered. The point is, that I knew he was the one for me the moment I saw him. Don't you believe in love at first sight?"

"Not really, no. I think that love is something you have to work at, and it can't be forced. That was something that my mom and dad always used to say."

"Well, how did they meet?"

"I'm not exactly sure, to tell you the truth. I rarely brought it up, and when I did the subject always got changed somehow. The only thing I know is that they met through their parents."

"Huh, well I guess even parents can pick out a good mate every once in a while. Come to think of it, my parents met in a similar way."

"I guess my parents and yours had a lot more in common than I ever knew."

"I'm not sure how far in common. All they ever say is that they met through family. I wonder why they're so vague about it. It's not like it was a bad thing. I mean, you've seen them, they're really in love, what difference should it make how they met?"

"I don't know, I guess none really. Let's change the subject please; I can't take much more thought about my folks tonight."

"Sure, no problem. So have you given any more thought to school? Are you going to start this week, or take it off?"

"I hadn't really thought much about it. This past week has flown by in such a blur. Part of me wants to wait, but the rest of me thinks that the distraction would be nice."

"I can understand that."

"I think I would like the week off, though. Maybe I could get started on clearing out my old room, and stuff at the house. It will be hard, but Esme said she'd help whenever I'm ready, and I know she'll stay off of work as long as I'm here. I hate to have her out of work for so long when I can help it."

"She won't mind. She already looks at you like you're her daughter. You should take all the time that you need."

"Still, I would feel better if I was less of an imposition. My folks kind of let me float through life, and I'm not one for all of the attention. The sooner I get past this stage, the better."

"Well if you want, after your mom's release tomorrow we could all go with you to the house and help you gather some things. It would go faster with all of us working at it, which means less time you would have to spend in a place you're probably not all that comfortable with right now."

"Actually, that sounds kind of nice. The support would be really welcome, and while I don't have a whole lot I need to take, I really like to read so I'll be boxing up a lot of books, and those boxes can get heavy. I could use some strong guys to carry them."

"I could get us more help from Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper, if you want."

"That's okay, maybe another time. I don't want my first interactions with them to be under these terms. It's bad enough that it's how it was for me and you and Edward. Not to mention, I barely knew Carlisle and Esme before this whole thing. I'm feeling uncomfortable enough, so, yeah, no."

"Okay, well if you change your mind let me know. Now, about school, since you are taking the week again that's great because it means we can go back to school shopping next weekend!"

"Alice, I already went back to school shopping, I mean the school year has started and all. Oh crap, what about all of my school work due at my old school. How will this impact my grades?"

"Bella, calm down it will be fine. I'm guessing that your teachers will grade what they can and since you are transferring schools it won't matter much anyways. I'm sure you'll still be on target to graduate on time, and no college will fault your break from school. Plus, look on the bright side; you now have one hell of an entrance essay!" She giggled a little at her joke, but stopped when she noticed my face.

I felt sick to my stomach and all of my blood felt like his had drained out. She immediately began to apologize when I interrupted, "It's fine, Alice, it's nothing you said. Well, not really anyways. It's just that the night that my parents died, I kind of thought the exact same thing. I was working on applications and thinking about essays, realizing I had a pretty dull life and nothing much to write about, then all of sudden it changed. I guess I am just feeling guilty again for taking my boredom for granted."

"Bella, I'm sure your life wasn't boring."

"You don't really know me well, yet. You'll see. I'm dull with a capital D. I really didn't have friends, I already told you I don't date, and I loved to read. I was what my mom would call the model child, never any trouble."

"There's nothing wrong with being a good child, and it doesn't make you boring. If that's the case than Edward would be dull too! He doesn't really date, also likes to read, enjoys playing his piano, and truly doesn't make waves with our parents at all either! Basically, he sounds like a male version of you, but with more friends." We laughed a little at her joke.

"Thanks for making me feel better, Alice. It's nice to hear I'm not the only person in this house who's aged beyond their years."

"Anytime, Bella, anytime. So about that shopping…" We spent the next several minutes discussing my wardrobe, or apparent lack thereof, and how Alice was going to rectify that. Apparently back to school shopping meant more about clothing shopping than it did about supply shopping. I insisted that I needed to go to bed, because I was tired and didn't want to listen to Alice discuss fashion trends anymore, but she didn't give in until I was yawning, quite frequently in fact.

When she finally left my room, I really was ready for bed and it didn't take long before sleep overtook me. My thoughts during the night were scattered. It was like sifting through the mail. I'd catch a glimpse of something and decide if I wanted to read it further and if not cast it aside. The dreams were vivid, when they came, and filled with my parents, faces from the funeral, and the idea of shopping with Alice. The one that lingered the longest though was of Edward, sitting at his piano and playing for me. I was standing in the doorway watching as his fingers floated across the keys. I felt as if I was spying on something sacred.

The first song matched my scurrying thoughts; it was Flight of the Bumblebee. Then he shifted to Amazing Grace, appropriate given my day. The third song was Bridge over Troubled Waters, okay that was a little weird, but maybe my subconscious was trying to show me that the Cullen's were going to be here to support me? The last song I recognized before the dream ended was The Rose. I couldn't find the meaning behind that. It's a song about love, well taking a chance on it, sort of. I was probably reading too much into the whole song thing anyways, _can't shut your brain off even when you sleep, ugh._

I awoke to a surprising silence, like I had half expected to wake up and hear Edward playing. It was still dark out, so everyone in the house was probably still asleep. That dream had just been weird to say the least. If it was ever analyzed who knows what I'd be told it meant, unless of course Freud analyzed it, then it would be obvious that it was about sex. My mind must have just decided to run through a playlist of songs I'd heard played on the piano before, the fact that Edward was doing the playing, or the type of song it was probably truly held no meaning. If I hadn't woken up, the next think I may have heard could have been the funeral march for all I know!

I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep forcing myself to think of something else, like food. Yeah, that was a safe topic, I could picture myself shopping at a farmer's market, or cooking in the kitchen. Wait, no cooking in the kitchen would be a bad idea. The last time I'd done that, Edward was playing the piano. We'd come back full circle. Okay, taking a deep breath I thought of Jacob.

There, that was a safe topic. I could dream about my childhood and mud pies. Then again, maybe not, that thought led to dirt and worms and yuck. New images that needed beating out of my head settled into place. After tossing and turning for a little longer, I decided it was no use, and just got up. I peeked out the window and could just make out the hints of a new day. I headed for the bathroom and decided to start with a nice hot shower. Afterwards, I decided to head downstairs and start breakfast going for everyone, well at least some coffee. I wanted to do something nice to help repay their kindness.

When I got into the kitchen, though, Esme was already there with a cup of coffee in her hands. Apparently, Carlisle had gotten an emergency call and had to run into the hospital for a couple of hours, and once he was gone from their bed it had been hard to fall back asleep. So instead, I poured myself a cup of her already brewed coffee and sat down across from her. She had been reading the morning paper when I had come in, but placed it aside when I sat.

"You're up early," she observed.

"Well, I went to bed early. I just couldn't sleep anymore," I responded.

"I'm not judging you dear, just stating the obvious, a habit I sometimes have."

"It's fine. I know it's unusual for someone my age to be up at the crack of dawn. I guess I just kind of want to get this day over with, you know?"

"I can understand that. We're due at the lake around 11. We shouldn't be there too long. Then, we'll head to that meadow you mentioned for your mother."

"Thanks Esme, for everything. Listen, I was talking with Alice last night, and I think I'd like to head by my house afterwards. I'd like to start packing some things up to bring over, and she pointed out it will go faster and probably be easier with more people. So, I thought that when we were finished we could call her, and then she and Edward could meet us there. Is that okay?" I started biting my nails, a nervous habit of mine. When I realized it, I withdrew my hand abruptly. It was something I'd thought I'd outgrown, but apparently not.

"Whatever you'd like, Dear. And, I do agree that it would be easier with more people. I also feel you should be comfortable here, and that will only truly happen with more of your things over here."

"I also would like to stay home for another week from school, but I want to spend it packing things up at my house. The sooner I clear things out of there, the sooner I can move on."

"Certainly, Dear. When we return tonight, Carlisle and I would like to hold a family meeting. There is something that we feel is important to discuss with everyone present. Your parents had prepared a video for you in the event of their passing, and we think it's time we share it with you."

"Um, okay." I didn't know what else to say. We sat in silence for awhile after that. Eventually, Esme returned to reading the paper, and whenever she finished a section she would slide it towards me in case I wanted to read it. I picked it up and flipped through it in an effort to pass the time. Fortunately, I didn't run into anything else about the accident. It's not like my parents' funeral was a huge media event, but you just never know what will be thrown into a Sunday paper. Sometimes they recap stories for the people who only read the paper on Sunday.

Having finished her coffee and the paper, Esme stood and started to clean up. She offered to make me breakfast, but I settled on just having cereal. I didn't feel much like cooking for some reason, and I was still on my not being a burden kick. After that exchange, she excused herself from the room citing her need to get ready.

I walked over to the pantry and discovered I had choices galore for cereals. I settled on a box of Lucky Charms; I could use a little magic in my day. My mom would buy the cereal for me when I was younger, and I could remember sitting at the table singing about how they were magically delicious with each bite. We used to do things like that when I was little. One time we had a box of Trix and used to take turns being the rabbit and kids. Then we'd steal the box just to do the whole "silly rabbit Trix are for kids" thing.

I smiled at my memories. That was the way things always were with her. She was such a child at heart. We would plays those games more for her than me, I think, and they started out as something to have to look forward to when getting up in the morning. My mom never was much of an early bird. At least I rarely had her up at the crack of dawn. As I grew older, I would even let her sleep in. I would get myself up and ready for school, then peek into her room before leaving to say goodbye. I had opted to take the school bus, since being driven to school in a police cruiser just didn't hold much appeal.

When I turned 16, they had offered to buy me a new car, but I wanted them to save their money. I couldn't think of a car that really fit me well. I wanted one that was reliable and not flashy. It would be pretty much the complete opposite of the choice for most kids my age. Plus, I told them that I really would like to travel a little. It was sort of a dream of mine to someday visit some of the places I had read about in my favorite books. They finally gave in and told me that they would send me on a trip as a gift for high school graduation. I guess that wasn't going to happen, now.

By the time I had finished breakfast, the sun had finished its main ascent, and I had completely lost track of time and the people around me. Carlisle had arrived home, although he did nothing but say hello to me as he headed for the stairs to find Esme. Alice and Edward had trickled down the stairs and joined me at the table, each with a bowl of cereal in front of them. None of us spoke. I suppose everyone was trying to respect me and give me my space, but it just made me feel uncomfortable. Finally, it was time for me to get ready to head to the fishing hole for my father's final farewell. It had been decided that Alice and Edward would not attend the releases since they hadn't really know my parents all that well anyway.

I didn't give much thought to what I put on; I just tried to make sure that it looked appropriate and wasn't what I had worn the day before. We piled into Carlisle's Cadillac and headed out. I sat in my same place in the back, just like I had that first night. It provided some solitude. The ride was silent, but peaceful. When we arrived at the fishing spot, all of my dad's fishing buddies were already waiting. I felt kind of odd showing up later than all of them, but none of them said anything.

We all said a few words, and in an effort to lighten the mood Jacob tried to put out some kind of gangster accent and tell everyone about how my dad was going to "sleep with the fishes." He was trying to build off of something about him being a cop and I don't know what else, but it was kind of funny in a way. I don't think anyone really appreciated it but me, and I think I might have committed a major faux pas and actually smiled a little at the solemn event. Judging from the glare Billy gave him, he would probably hear about it later. I'd have to remember to ask him about it when we talked.

Following the release of my father's ashes, everyone came by me once more to offer their condolences, and then took off. We remained behind for a few more moments knowing that this was where it all ended. I definitely wasn't coming back to this fishing hole so it was truly my final goodbye to him. It's funny; I expected to break down into tears, but all I really felt was numb. I had already let him go, at least the part that truly mattered. I'd set his spirit free, and now all that was left were specks of ash on the water. Soon there wouldn't be anything left to see.

We did the same thing for my mother's ashes. At the new location, the 3 of us said a few words about her, and then I let the wind take her. As her ashes scattered amongst the wildflowers, the sight was kind of beautiful. I had a feeling that I would be returning here, so we didn't linger long. This field held a lot of good memories for me, and it was a great place for my mother to rest. In a way, I felt like my mother would be reincarnated among the wildflowers. She was like them in a way, free as a night breeze and at home just about anywhere. I knew in my heart she would be happy resting here.

Both of my parents would rest in the nature they loved and live on with me. I was finally at peace with that thought. As we left the park and headed toward my home, Esme called Alice and Edward and instructed them to meet us there with some of the boxes she had collected out in the garage.

It felt awfully strange returning home; especially knowing that no one waited for me on the other side of the door and never would again. It was even more odd to think that my goal was to have the place cleaned out by the end of the week. Alice and Edward had already arrived by the time we got to the house. They had parked on the road while we pulled into the driveway. As I got out of the car, Alice rushed over to me and gave me a hug, no words were said, but there didn't really need to be any. I know she was trying to show she would be there for me, no matter what, and I liked that.

I unlocked the door and directed everyone to follow me up the stairs. As we entered my bedroom, which was definitely smaller than what I now had at the Cullen's, it was clear that not everyone could fit into the room at once, which was fine. Alice and Esme came in with me as we started to load boxes up with books and some of my clothes. When a box was full, we would slide it over to the doorway and either Edward or Carlisle would take it downstairs and out to the Escalade. It was a nice assembly line type process, and in no time at all we had cleaned out my bookcase, most of my closet, and my dresser.

I decided to leave my bed and bedding behind because in all honesty the one I was sleeping in at the Cullen's was more comfortable. Not to mention, I had decided that I would take Esme up on her offer to personalize the room. My bedding and décor at my folks' house had been the same since I was young, and it was time for an update to a more grown up atmosphere. Plus, it would ensure fewer things would remind me of them.

Once my room was packed up, we headed across the hall to my parent's room to see if there was anything in there I thought I'd want to take. I didn't really see much besides the journal my mom was keeping on her nightstand. After that, we went downstairs to the living room and walked over to the bookcase there. It wasn't filled with much of my interest so I rarely looked at it, but since I was looking at what I may want to keep, I checked it out. I found several more of my mother's journals and decided to take all of them. I had never read them, and although it seemed a little like an invasion of her privacy to do so now, she wasn't around to object.

Maybe her journals would provide some insight to the little I knew about her life. It might even be able to explain why she had been so secretive about leaving me with the Cullen's and having all of these plans laid out. I still felt a little gypt. I grabbed some family videos and photo albums off the shelf as well, and decided that was enough.

As I locked the front door, and we all headed back to the vehicles, I was directed to ride with Alice and Edward, since the seats had been lowered in the back of the Escalade to fit the boxes. I climbed into the back of the Volvo and Edward headed for the driver's seat. Alice was already in the passenger seat. The ride back to their house was silent except for the radio which was playing various music styles off of Edward's I-Pod.

Once back at their house, we all helped to unload the Escalade, making quick work of bringing the boxes up to "my room." When I started to unpack them, Esme reminded me that she and Carlisle wanted to have a family meeting and suggested perhaps the unpacking could wait. I wondered if she didn't want me to unpack because the meeting had to deal with moving and that would mean I would just have to pack back up again. Edward, Alice, and I kind of just exchanged curious looks around the room; then I placed the book I had just removed back into the box, and stood up.

We headed for the living room and all sat down in as close to a circle as we could get, given the configuration. Carlisle and Esme sat together, while the rest of us kind of split up around the edges across from them. Esme took Carlisle's hand and looked at us. There was silence for a while, as she seemed to be trying to figure out the best way to put whatever it was she had to say. I was just hoping she'd spit it out already. My palms were sweaty and my heart was like a hummingbird's wings. She had told me this would have something to do with a video my parents had left. There must be nothing good on it if it took this long to work up to introducing it.

Finally, Esme opened her mouth to speak, "Children, we think it's time to tell you all the full story of how we came be together, and why we bonded so well with Charlie and Renee."

**A/N: Cliffy again! I know I'm evil, but the good stuff is coming, can't you feel it?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm bouncing between Esme's POV and Bella's in this chapter. I just found it easier to write this way. Also, thanks a billion for all the great reviews! I respond to every single one, if you have an account on here that lets me. I love all of my readers! **

_**Disclaimer: Like a loser, I just realized I haven't been putting these in, but it's obvious the characters aren't mine, I'm just manipulating them for my purposes.**_

**ESME'S POV**

Ever since the terrible news about Charlie and Renee had come in, Carlisle and I had struggled with what to tell the children. The original plan had been to stay quiet until they had graduated high school, but that couldn't very well happen, now. With Bella living under our roof like one of our own, things could get awkward later if we weren't up front about everything. So silence wasn't an option.

After a great deal of discussion, we decided to view what Charlie and Renee had recorded to share with Bella, although we felt it was a slight invasion of privacy. We figured if nothing else it may give us some ideas on how to break our news. The video was brief and unfortunately the focus was only on sharing their story, which meant that dropping the bomb, as it may have seemed, was left completely up to us. At least Renee had kept journals that Bella could read for encouragement in times.

With this thought for solace we sat down before our children. We had decided to wait until after the "funeral," and would have waited even longer except that the tension was wearing on me. Besides, Bella had decided that she wanted to collect some things from her parents' house, and I was relieved when she grabbed all of her mother's journals. That was going to be a saving grace, I thought, during the next who knew how long. Plus, I would be around to talk with her, if she wanted.

I took a deep breath and stared over the faces of the children before me. I was truly blessed. I had two wonderful children, and while originally, Carlisle and I had talked about having both of our children follow in our footsteps and under our family's tradition, seeing Alice with Jasper told us there should be no interfering. Truthfully, though, we couldn't have imagined a better life partner for her, and we were convinced that the two of them would end up together in all likelihood. We had agreed that we could always revisit the subject if things changed.

Holding onto Carlisle's hand, he gave me an encouraging smile and nod. I couldn't remember at that moment why we had decided that I would be the one to do the talking, but I figured it really didn't matter. And so I began…

"Children, your father and I have always told you that we met through family. This was not a lie. Our family did in fact introduce us, but not in an 'Esme have you met Carlisle?' kind of way. To really understand how we came to be, we must backtrack on our family tree a bit. For as long as there have been Cullens and Platts, and even before that going back to great grandparents and great-great-grandparents and so on, there has been an unusual practice. I say unusual because apart from religions such as Orthodox Jews, Muslims, and Hindus, and unless you live in South Asia or the Middle East, it is probably something foreign. It is not wrong, and we pray you do not falsely judge us for the ideals. We want you to first and foremost keep in mind just how much we love each other and how happy we are."

"What I'm trying to say Dears is that your father and I have an arranged marriage. Well, had is probably more likely the term. Our parents arranged for us to marry one another. On the day that I turned 18, my parents came to me and told me that they had met the man I was going to marry. I sort of chuckled to myself because I figured "How could they know that?", but they did because they had already set it up. I was told all about Carlisle and what a wonderful man he was. My parents shared with me then, their story of how they came to be, and their parents before them and so on, as we are doing with you now."

"Before being setup with Carlisle, I had been in a violent relationship with a high school sweetheart. It was a horrible experience, and it made my parents' lives miserable. I thought that by taking away my free will regarding marriage they were punishing me for putting them through all of that before I wised up and got out. But after really talking with them, especially my mother, and thinking about how happy they were, like my grandparents, I knew that it was their way of showing just how much they cared about me and loved me. They were insuring that I was protected, cared for, and loved, for the rest of my life."

"Our family is not the only ones with traditions like this. Bella, your parents had an arranged marriage as well. Their story is somewhat different, but has the same outcome. That's what we'd like to show you now." I had placed the DVD in the player earlier in the day so it was all set to go. Once the children had turned toward the screen, I turned everything on and pressed the play button.

**Bella's POV**

Had I heard Esme correctly? My parents had an arranged marriage. That was all that I could think as I turned around to face the screen. When their faces appeared, tears welled in the corners of my eyes. They looked so happy and well, and were sitting on the sofa that Carlisle and Esme currently shared. This made sense, it would be a good place to record a story like this, I supposed. I wondered if they knew at the time that it would be the same place where I heard the Cullen's story. My father sat next to my mother holding her hand, just like Carlisle did Esme's.

When my mother's voice broke through, it was strong and sure. She didn't sound nearly as shaky as Esme had. I wondered if this was because she was talking to a camera and not actually to me. I could only imagine how this talk would have gone in person. "Hi Bella honey," she began. "If you are watching this, it can only mean one thing; your father and I aren't around for whatever reason to tell you our story. I am hoping that Carlisle and Esme have already spilled the beans and told you that we have, or had rather, an arranged marriage. Both of our parents had arranged marriages and their parents did before that, and well you get the point. It was a long standing tradition in our family."

"The outcomes were usually wonderful. My mother loved my father very much, but I know that at times she felt like her choice had been taken away from her. She carried those feelings into how she handled my arrangement. She expanded my options. Rather than just picking one potential suitor, she had a list. I was able to meet with each of the men. I even dated a few and then settled on your father. Maybe settled is a bad choice of words; I chose him. Charlie was always a wonderful man. He treated me well and I knew he had love for me beyond what any other man did. We have always been very happy together, and neither of us has ever wanted anything else for ourselves. We love each other dearly, and we love you dearly. Nothing will ever change that fact."

"We hope that you are well, and that Carlisle and Esme are taking good care of you. We are sure that they are. Alice and Edward are wonderful children, and we know you will get along splendidly. Get to know each of them deeply. We have a strong feeling that the Cullens will be your family from now on. We love you our darling girl, and we will be watching over you from wherever we are."

My father spoke up then, "Bella, honey. Carlisle and I are standing evidence that arranged marriages can be successful and full of love. They provide support and love throughout all the days of your life. Every struggle you have never needs to be faced alone once you are bound to your partner. There is stability and faith, and an expanding family network to pull strength and love from."

"We leave you with our hopes for you to have what we had. We know it is possible with a little faith and hard work. You are our most precious possession and as such we want you guarded for a lifetime. The foundation for this has been laid in our traditions. We love you more than we can say. Farewell my darling girl."

"Goodbye sweetheart," my mom spoke, her voice breaking at the end. Then the screen went blank.

I was in tears long before her final words. I was never given a chance to truly say goodbye and in a way they were giving me that through the video. I was relieved that I had the chance to hear their story. I still didn't quite follow why it was necessary for the great reveal to happen, but if it made everyone feel better about themselves then whatever.

I loved my parents dearly, and arranged marriage or not, they were no different to me. They loved one another, and I knew that. Hell, they were happier than most married people I knew. In a world full of fear of divorce, I never had to worry. My folks were always there for each other, supportive and caring of one another and of me.

I didn't quite follow all of that foundation stuff, but I assumed it just meant setting me up for a strong relationship whenever I chose in the future.

When the video shut off, we all sat in silence for a moment, the only sounds were the muffled sobs that I shared with Esme and Alice, and although Edward and Carlisle were trying to be masculine, I could tell they were shaken a little, as well. It wasn't until Carlisle cleared his throat that we all turned our attention back to the couch where he sat with Esme. His hand had moved out of hers, and was now placed soothingly around her shoulders, gathering her to him.

**Esme's POV**

After viewing the video for a second time, I still wasn't exactly sure where to take the conversation at this point, but I decided to continue pointing out the differences, then figured perhaps I'd open the floor for a little Q & A.

"So, children, as you can see, my arrangement was a here's your suitor and that's that kind of deal, while Renee had some say in who her mate would be. Many modern arrangements actually work in a similar fashion. As this idea is all knew to you, perhaps you have some questions?"

We sat in silence for a moment, then Edward got the balls up to ask what was on all of our minds, "Why now?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why tell us all of this now? I mean it doesn't really matter to us how you ended up together. It's clear that you love each other and us, so I guess I'm just missing the why of it all? You haven't said a word to us in the 17 years we've been your children, why spill the beans now?"

"To be honest, we had planned on telling you all at 18, as is tradition, but when Bella's parents passed away, tradition sort of went out the window."

"Why 18?" he asked...and it was as if the elephant had landed in the room.

**Bella's POV**

"I'm supposed to have an arranged marriage. That's it, isn't it?" I asked. "What, so because I'm being told all of this now, I'm supposed to get married like tomorrow or next week, to whoever my folks chose for me? That's why you suggested I wait to unpack my stuff, isn't it?"

"Mom, how could you do this? Would you marry me off at 17?" Alice spoke up in my defense.

"It's nothing like that, please just calm down and let me explain," Esme replied.

"Oh. My. God. Mom, do you guys have someone lined up for me too?" Alice began to freak. "I can't be separated from Jasper, there's no way. It would kill us both! I swear to God, if you try and pull this crap on us, we will so Romeo and Juliet our asses before that happens," she spat out.

"No one is going to do anything of the sort," Carlisle's booming voice sounded, calm or not, he could get attention. "Everyone just calm down and let us explain what's going on here."

Alice sat back down, having begun pacing during her rant. Surprisingly, Edward had remained rather quiet throughout the whole thing, and I wondered what was going on in his mind.

"Alice, your father and I have already talked it over, and no, we have not arranged your marriage, nor do we desire to do so as long as you are with Jasper. We've seen how you two look at each other and know true love when we see it. We would never jeopardize something like that over a tradition, no matter how long standing."

"Well thank God for small favors," she responded.

More silence passed as Esme appeared to be gathering her words. "Bella, your parents had arranged your marriage, it is true. We believe it is with someone that is as wonderful a match for you, as they did. Their plan was to tell you about it after graduation. They mentioned sending you on a trip and using it as sort of a final hoorah. When you came back, you were to be married to him."

"The exact circumstances were still being discussed, because there is only one man they had in mind, and your mother still felt you deserved something similar to the opportunity she had with your father."

"With that thought in mind, Carlisle and I have done some talking and while we believe there is no one better suited for you then who they chose, we think we should offer you a chance at finding your own happiness out of respect for Renee."

"Who is it? Do I know him?" I asked. I couldn't keep the question from coming any longer, a chance to find someone else or not, I had to know who they had chosen for me.

Carlisle and Esme exchanged glances, and then looked over at first Alice and then Edward. "It's Edward. Your parents have been negotiating with us to secure your marriage to our son, Edward. That is the why of the now. We simply couldn't have the two of you under the same roof not knowing and then have it thrust upon you. It just didn't seem right."

My eyes had widened at her admission, and a tingle had run down my spine. Edward, he had been the one my parents had chosen for me. The heat that welled in my body took up root in my cheeks, my chest, my stomach, and my core. My body was pulsing with the energy of the idea of being with him. Who was I kidding? I was not good enough for him, and I didn't see how Esme and Carlisle hadn't noticed that. Not to mention, I really didn't know how I truly felt about the whole, he's the one you are to marry thing.

"Like I said before, we have talked about giving you a fair chance at finding your own happiness, both of you, but we truly believe that with each other is where you belong."

"Fuck this!" Shock, pure and utter shock encased the faces of everyone else in the room as Edward made is confession. "There is no fucking way I am being told who I should marry! Just no fucking way! How could you do this to me? How did you let this happen to you?" He eye balled Carlisle.

"I didn't LET ANYTHING happen to me, Edward; I welcomed it with responsibility as I would expect you to do. And I will thank you to not speak to your mother or myself in that fashion again. I can understand your anger, truly I can. It is a shocking experience, but you will find it is for the best. Plus, your mother and I are being more than fair here. We are giving you a chance to find another road."

"If either of you can find someone else that you believe you'd rather spend your lives with, and you can prove your love to us, we will relinquish our bargain. Of course, there are terms."

"Such as?" I popped up. I was pretty sure that it was only out of respect for Carlisle and for the sake of Esme's character that we all stayed and continued the discussion instead of storming off under the rage and distress we were feeling.

"Such as, you must date each other, as well as any other prospective suitors. If you feel you are getting serious enough about one of them, they need to be introduced to us and approved by both Carlisle and myself as well as Alice."

"Please don't bring me into this!" she begged.

"Why not dear, whoever either of them ends up with will be like a new sibling to you, so you must get along for the good of the whole." All she could do was grumble at that.

"Also, there is to be no intercourse. Unless lies have been slung by either of you, you're both still virgins, and we'd like to keep it that way. We don't want your decisions based solely on sex," ever the Doctor, Carlisle spoke of sex with the teens in the room, like it was talking about eating ice cream or coloring.

I'm pretty sure I noticed Edward grimace at the V-word, and hoped it was out of embarrassment for hearing it, rather than guilt for it being a lie.

"Finally, if you haven't found another potential mate by graduation things go on as planned," Esme finished.

"But that's only like 9 months away! There's no way that can happen!" Edward barked.

"If God could create the world in under a week, and a woman's body can make an entire living being in about nine months, then you can find someone you think you could be with forever in 9 month's time," Carlisle spoke up.

"It will take a miracle," he grumbled.

"I knew I wanted to be with Jasper in only a moment's time," Alice perkily popped up. Edward glared at her. Okay, she wasn't helping the situation.

"So, do we have an accord? In addition to pursuing…"other interests" so to speak, the two of you will have a set date at least once a week to get to know one another, and you will meet with either myself or Carlisle to discuss the arrangement and your feelings. We can be a good support network for the two of you, and Bella, those journals you found of your mother's will be helpful, as well," Esme soothed.

"Well, what do the two of you say?" Carlisle questioned.

"We don't really have much of a choice, do we," it was more of a statement than a question, and even if the words were slightly harsh, coming from Edward's voice they were still beautiful.

I took a deep breath and started, "I'll try. I really want my parents to be proud, and although I may not agree with things right now, I trust them and you. I know you won't let me get hurt, and at least you are giving us an out, sort of anyway." I didn't know what else to say, and I probably sounded like a kiss ass, but whatever, my head was spinning at the thought of having my married life laid before me.

"Good, thank you all for accepting things so calmly. This actually went a lot better than I thought it might. Now, we're going to leave you and Edward alone to talk. If nothing else, you may want to share your feelings on the topic, but I really hope you take some time to start to get to know one another," Esme finished. As she and Carlisle got up to leave, she gave Alice, who was looking to linger in the moment, the evil eye.

With a reassuring glance from both me and Edward, she got up and trotted behind her parents up the stairs, leaving me and Edward alone, to sit, in silence.

**A/N: O.K. So there you go. It's out in the open, and now you can see it's not over by a long shot. What will they say next? Will they talk at all? Who will they date? How will they dates go? Will they find someone else? Oh, the questions! *scheming grin* Let me know what you think! Was it what you expected? Better? Worse? TIPS?**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: These characters themselves aren't mine, but they do what I want…**_

Edward and I sat in silence for a little while, both simply absorbing what had just transpired. I decided that I would make an effort to get to know him for the sake of my parents and his, so I quickly hoisted myself out of the chair and nestled into the one Alice had vacated. This placed me closer to him, so it would be easier to speak.

Then, drawing on the memories of my mother teaching me how to make new friends, I began with her first step, kindness. She always said that one of the greatest openers to any conversation was a compliment.

"You play the piano very well," I told him without meeting his eyes. I left out how I'd dreamed of his hands ghosting over the keys, the same hands that, if things went as planned could be ghosting over my flesh in no time. That dream had seemed like a lifetime ago, and in a way, I guess it had been.

"Thank you," he responded. There was more silence, and I wondered if that would be the end. So much for my mother's rules of conversation; I almost enlightened him, but then it would be like I was fishing for a compliment in return.

"I should probably say something nice to you in return," he said. "My mother always told me that a compliment was a good icebreaker. I don't know you all that well, and I apologize for what that means, because right now all that I can think of to say is that you cook well and that you're a graceful faller," he chuckled as the last part rang out.

I looked up at him and laughed too because well, it was better to laugh with him, than have him laughing at me.

"I'm sorry. I know that sounds terrible. I didn't want to place you in such a menial task as cooking, and bringing up your shortcomings in the balance department is a far cry from a compliment."

"No, it's fine. I mean, you didn't say anything untruthful. I am a klutz, and not to toot my own horn or anything, but I do know my way around a kitchen."

Good, this was going well, we actually had some conversation taking place, but then the awkwardness of the situation sucked it right back out. Time for rule number two: Inquire about the other party. Get them talking about themselves, and then they will want to hear about you, if nothing more than to be polite. You never know what you'd have in common.

"So, what's your favorite color?" I asked him.

"That depends," was his response. "I can't just pick a favorite color. I like different colors for different things. For example, I like the white of our living room. It's clean, crisp, and elegant, but I never would create a bedroom out of the color. It would just be too sterile. I also like the warm orange glow of a fire in the hearth, especially when it's put in the context of all of this white. Each season has colors that appeal to me as well. Not to mention that I like different colors on different people."

"What color do you like on me?" I blurted out, wishing more than ever for the brain filter.

"Blue," he replied without missing a beat.

"Now it's my turn, what's your favorite color?"

"Brown."

"Brown?"

"Yes, brown. It's warm, and I like warm things."

"Brown is warm. I never would have thought you would have it for a favorite color, though. Any girls I've ever interacted with like girly colors, like pink and purple, or some pastel shade that looks like cotton candy, or reminds you of a Tums tablet." We both laughed a little at that idea, and I could feel some of the tension leaving the room. "The only girls I've ever known to like something else are Goth, and they only dig black." I just nodded as if in agreement.

"Okay, my turn again, what kind of music do you like?"

"I would describe my tastes as eclectic. I like a little of everything, you?"

"Same. I can take it all from classic to country and everywhere in between."

"Okay, it's my turn to start one. I noticed you have a lot of books, so what do you like to read?"

"Pretty much everything. I like the classics a lot. Some of my favorites are Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, and Wuthering Heights."

"Interesting. I enjoy some of the classics myself, although I'm not so sure about Wuthering Heights, and don't even get me started on Romeo and Juliet. I will never understand how anyone can so thoroughly ruin their own happiness."

Our conversation continued in this same interview style for quite some time. We talked about favorite vacations, pastimes, foods, movies, etc. It was a lot of the classic getting to know you type stuff.

"Well, we've scratched the surface nicely, wouldn't you agree?" I just nodded. "How about we get into things a little deeper? For example, what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?"

"Be careful. You know that if I answer this, you have to too!"

"I understand how this has been working, yes."

"Well, as long as we're clear on this." I took a deep breath, "O.K. Probably the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me is falling off a float during the parade," I ground my teeth and closed my eyes, weary of his reaction. When there was no sound, I cracked one eye open and peered out. There was nothing but concern on Edward's face.

"Wow! Okay, I have two questions. First, did you get seriously hurt? And second, what were you doing on a float anyways? I mean, what was it about?"

"I wasn't hurt at all really, just my ego. Although afterward, several people told me they've never seen someone fall so gracefully." He laughed at that comment. "As far as the why, it was a Friends of the Library float, and I not so much fell off as was pushed off. See, I was standing towards the back of the float, and we were stopped. When we started moving again, the jerk forward sent everyone else off balance and they came crashing into me, forcing me off the back."

"There were tons of people watching me fall, and I was mortified. It's one thing to fall a lot; it's a whole other thing to have it witnessed by several people, especially in the small town of Forks. I was the talk of the town for a while. Of course, part of that was for how the parade was suddenly disrupted, because as soon as my dad heard I had fallen, he stopped his escort of the parade, came back to get me, threw me in the back of his cruiser, and rushed me off the hospital for a full work up."

"It's a good thing that Forks is so small in that respect, because nearly everyone was at the parade, and without my father to escort, things became a real mess. You'd think that they would have just kept going straight, but it was like their brains were hardwired to follow him. If one of the other officers in town hadn't stepped in riding his motorcycle in the lead, the whole parade may have ended up running right past the hospital!" Edward smiled at that. It was a warm smile that lit up his whole face and sent a wave of calm and happiness through me.

"So, there you have it." I spat. "I showed you mine, now it's your turn. Spill."

"Um, well, would you look at the time? I hadn't realized how late it was getting," he stalled. Although I hadn't realized how late it really had gotten.

"Spill it piano boy, or I'm just going to ask Alice. You know she'd just love to share! I'm sure I wouldn't get the straight story either. She'd probably embellish just to make it worse."

"Fine, I'm sure it will come up at some point anyways. My family loves to talk about it."

"When I was little, and I'm talking like 2 or 3, my grandmother used to change our diapers, and every time she did, she'd sing 'Free show for nothing.' Well, one day when I was like 3 maybe 4, I went outside and dropped my pants to scream 'Free show for nothing' in front of a bunch of gathered family and friends. It's something I'll never live down."

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing.

"Go ahead, yuck it up! Just remember I didn't laugh at you," he barked out bitterly.

"I'm sorry, you're right, but your moment is just too funny. I can just picture you all little boy like with your hair all mussed, trotting out the door and letting things fly without a care in the world."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, while this has been enlightening and all, I think I'd like to call it quits on that miserable moment."

"I truly am sorry, but remember, you're the one who opened up the embarrassing moments can of worms, so you only have yourself to blame."

"That's true. Plus I can't blame you for laughing; I'd probably do the same if it was someone other than me. Anyways, it's getting late, and I think we should call it a night."

"Sure, whatever you want, except I really think we should have some serious discussion first. I mean it's been nice getting to know things about you and all, but we really should address the elephant in the room. How do you feel about this whole thing, really?"

His eyes fell back to his lap, and there was a moment of silence while the air around us became heavy with the weight of his response.

"To be completely honest, I'm not too thrilled with being told what to do with my life. After getting to know you a little and having talked with you, I'm still not ecstatic about this development, but my feelings on the subject aren't as grave, and you?"

"About the same as you. I'm glad to get to know you and no offense because you seem like a nice guy, but I want the chance to choose, you know?" He nodded in return.

"So where does that leave us? I mean, how do we act around each other?" I asked.

"I guess we are friends right now. Let's just call it that. I mean we have to date as part of the bargain, but we don't have to get serious or anything. Let's just see where this road takes us?"

"I guess you're right. Hey, you know this situation is rare. I wonder if it could be something like Frost's "The Road Not Taken?" I mean, how many people would choose the avenue of arranged marriage? If we chose to, it could make all the difference." I said this while trying not to get my hopes up. I mean neither of us really liked being forced into this, but I couldn't deny our connection, and talking with him had just made me like him more.

"You're right, Bella, how many would? And, it could be the difference, but we're just not ready for that step, at least I'm not." He stood up at that and turned offering his hand to help me up. "This has been a lot to take in for one day, and I don't know about you, but I'm ready for bed."

I took the offered hand, "Yeah, I could definitely sleep." As we walked to the stairs, he didn't drop my hand, I noticed, and when we reached the top and I turned to head towards my room, he paused. "Thanks for the talk, Edward. I'm glad that I'm not alone in all of this, and that you aren't being a total prick about it."

"I wouldn't say that, Bella, I mean I did blow up at my parents earlier, but you're welcome just the same." Then with a gentle squeeze and release he dropped my hand and headed up to his room.

I turned and began walking towards my room, and was a little surprised to see the door cracked open and the light on. When I walked in, Alice was sitting on my bed, nose pressed into one of my mother's diaries. The squeak of the door as I opened the rest of the way caught her attention and when she turned, I could see she'd been crying.

"It's about time you got up here! I've been wondering what was going on," she said this while closing the book she'd been reading.

"Alice, why do you look like you've been crying? Was it the book?"

"Sort of. I was just picturing myself in the situation, your current one, I don't know if I could handle it. I have been so relieved to know that my parents are accepting of Jasper and that there won't be any of this for me. According to what I've been reading, the road isn't easy."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, your mother loved your father, don't worry about that, but it's clear that she couldn't help but wonder what else was out there. I mean, it's evident that she hated living in Forks with all its rain and dreariness. She felt trapped, and it wasn't as if she could just turn to your father and ask him to drop the position of Chief of Police here, to go be one of many in a big city force somewhere far away."

"I knew she'd always wanted to travel. That's why she was so encouraging of me taking a trip after high school to see the world. I didn't realize that the need was more than just taking in new things." The thought of her feeling trapped made me feel awful.

"I mean she was married so young. Then, she had me fairly young, as well. Things just kind of took off right into family land. I wonder if that's why she never had more children."

"No, that's in here too, but I'll let you read that."

"How long have you been in here?"

"Since my parents made me come upstairs. They made me promise not to say anything to anyone else about the situation, so I figured my best bet was to be somewhere that didn't tempt me with my computer or phone. I decided to read some of your mother's diaries to kill time."

"How many did you read?"

"I lost track actually because I didn't read the entire thing. I'd pick and choose information. I thought that if I read them, I'd know how you felt, and be able to talk with you if you wanted. I just didn't want to talk with my mom about it, ya know?"

I nodded. "So what have you learned?"

"In a nutshell? Your mom was happy with your dad. She did love him, and you, and the whole arranged issue wore off after awhile. Sure there was work involved, compromise and such, but every good relationship has that. At first, she felt a little out of control, but with her mom helping her out, she seemed to get through it all. From the looks of things, you are getting the best possible deal, too."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you are getting some time to find someone else, if you want them, but I don't think you do. Your mom didn't have that, although she had some choice, and my mom didn't have any choice. I still don't think I could handle it if it was me, but I don't know. I mean, you don't have anyone right now, and neither does my brother, and well I could love having you for a sister. What I'm trying to say is, well I don't know what I'm trying to say exactly, but maybe it's just that it could be worse."

I had to chuckle at that comment. It reminded me of a story my mother always read to me as a child. It was actually called, "Could be Worse." In it, there was this grandpa who, no matter what he was told, said "Could be Worse." Then he shares a story with his grandkids that is so wild, and all they can say afterward is "Could be Worse." It always made me laugh and put things in perspective. No matter how bad things were, they could likely always be worse.

"You're right Alice, it could be. Listen, Edward and I talked like your parents wanted, and we both agree that we aren't ready to take that big step yet. We're going to be friends for now. We'll do the dating thing, like your parents want, but we aren't jumping any guns. That's just how it has to be for now. Understand?"

"Of course I understand, Bella. Just know that if you ask me, and don't you dare tell Edward I ever said this, there isn't any better guy than him. Well, except for Jasper, but he's taken. I know this is awkward and definitely horrid timing, but he truly is a great guy. Leave yourself open to the possibility."

"I will, Alice. I will." There was a brief period of silence, and I could see the wheels turning in her head, and immediately, I thought that whatever came next could not be good, and I was right.

"Hey! I have a great idea! Our school's fall formal is coming up in a few weeks. You and Edward should go together! It would be fun!"

"Um, yeah, no I don't dance."

"Not even a little bit?"

"Nope, I have two left feet. By the end of the night, one of us would end up in the hospital; either me, because I fell and broke something, or Edward because I fell and broke something."

"You can't possibly be that bad! Besides, it's all in the leading, and I happen to know that my brother is a very good leader. My mom used to make us take dance lessons ages ago, and don't you dare tell him I told you that." I chuckled at the thought of a younger Edward pacing around a floor laced with footstep patterns.

"Plus, I already have the perfect dress for you. We'll just need to go shopping for shoes and accessories, make you a hair appointment, and buy you guys some tickets."

"Wait, before you go planning everything out, Alice, don't you think the two targets ought to be on board with this? I mean, I already told you I don't dance, and Edward should know what you're getting him into. We both have had enough choice taken away for one night."

"Fine," she spouted giving her best pouty face, "I'll talk to him, but he's going to agree. He can't say no to me and neither can you. No one can really, it's my blessing and curse all rolled up into one." She smirked at me. "It will be a great way for you to get to know all of our friends too! Please?" She started to beg, "Pretty pretty please, with sugar on top?"

She stuck out her bottom lip, did the whole puppy dog eye pleading thing. Ugh, I knew she'd win. "Fine," I barked out, "but I'm not wearing heels!"

"You have to wear heels, Bella; it will ruin the whole ambience if you don't."

"I don't care. If you want to be sure that both your brother and I come out of the whole thing in one piece, heels cannot be involved."

"Fine, we won't do anything really high, but there has to be a slight heel. You'll see I'm right when the time comes. I always am."

"Whatever," was all I could say. There was definitely no arguing with her like this.

"Okay, so I'm going to leave you alone now and go talk to my dear brother. You're probably really tired anyways, and if not, you really should read some of your mom's diaries. I'll see you in the morning." With that she popped up off my bed and practically pranced to the door. I was so going to regret this, I just knew it.

"Goodnight, Bella," she chimed already halfway out the door.

"Goodnight, Alice," I called after her. Yup, I was definitely going to regret this.

**A/N: Okay, so there you have it. The next chapter brings a little Edward's POV on this whole thing, his brief talk with Alice, because let's face it she's in charge, and some insight to Renee through the diaries. Plus more! The "Could be Worse" story mentioned exists, it's my James Stevenson, and both of their embarrassing moments came from my own life with some minor details changed, so show a writer some love and review! **


	9. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer: As always Twilight isn't mine…**_

**A/N: We are starting out in Bella's POV after Alice left and there's a lemon so be warned…**

It wasn't long after Alice left my room that sleep claimed me. The revelations of the night spinning through my head led me to the dream of a lifetime.

I don't know the time frame, but I know it was my wedding day. I had gone back in time, and as I lay on the bed in my silken ivory gown, a veil shielding my view of the room, I was racked with anticipation. I had a sense that my marriage was set, and although I wasn't part of the ceremony, I was in the bedchamber awaiting my husband.

As the door to the room opened and the sound of a lock triggering heightened my nerves, I turned toward the sound and called out "Husband, is that you?" The answer was the rustling of clothes as they fell to the floor and the light footsteps approaching the bed. My heart was pounding in my chest as I felt a cool palm land on my right breast while fingers fiddled with the buttons on the front of my gown.

Underneath the cloth I was completely bare and more nervous than I ever thought possible. I was silently praying for the removal of my veil so I could look upon the face of my mate. I yearned for the feel of his lips on my skin and was rewarded as the flesh he exposed was caressed by his mouth. He was tracing the path of his fingers and when he reached my stomach he paused, paying extra care to the space that would become the womb of our children.

I let out a soft moan and prayed that he was pleased with me. I silently begged him to hurry and get on with it. Even though I had the impression that the experience might be less than pleasurable, at the moment all I felt was excitement at the prospect of having him in me. He continued his slow descent, carefully kissing each inch of my body; gently caressing me with his tongue.

When my gown was completely unbuttoned, he reached out and lifted each leg in turn, placing soft kisses that trailed from my ankles, to the sensitive skin behind my knees and on the inside of my thighs. The rush of adrenaline through my body was causing wetness to pour out of my core, likely drenching the fabric that lay below me.

I was beyond aroused, and any fear that I had prior to him entering the chamber was nearly dissipated. My husband was proving to be a generous lover. I had feared that since I was clearly his, he may have just come in, done his thing and left, but he was worshipping me with a reverence I felt I didn't deserve, and had guilt over enjoying. I wanted to reach out to him, feel his flesh, draw him near, anything to provide him direction, encouragement, and pleasure, but I had been warned to let him be in charge.

As I lay as still as possible on the bed, my body writhing uncontrollably at his touches, I yearned to do more with him, to be more for him. He was layering my hips, stomach, and thighs with gentle kisses and caresses, and the muscles in my stomach were contracting with pleasure. I could feel the pressure building and just as I thought I could take no more, he spread my thighs wide and his lips met mine. He pushed them aside with his fingers and plunged his tongue deep into my core, and I came undone. I called out in wild ecstasy as he continued to lap up my juices, his tongue occasionally coming up to flick at the bundle of nerves resting near the top of my slit.

The only thing that could possibly have made this better was being able to look upon his face and see that he too was enjoying this task. "Please," I begged, I gestured toward the veil in hopes that he would understand what I was asking and in answer to my prayers, he took one last long draw from my sex and gently kissed his way up my body. He palmed my breasts as he went, nuzzled my neck, and nibbled here and there. Then finally, his hands rested on either side of the veil and my stomach tightened in knots all over again.

I could feel him placed just outside my entrance, and as he lifted my veil, he entered me, the length and girth of his erection stretching me far beyond my limits. He stilled for a moment allowing me to adjust, and the pulse of pain that flowed through me at that point was dissipated as I gazed upon the face of my husband. The gentleness, love, and devotion in Edward's face helped me to relax, my body accommodating all he was giving me and begging for more.

He gently suckled my ear lobes, kissed my cheeks and forehead, and then attacked my lips with a force matching the urge I was now feeling. His lips crushed against mine, he thrust his tongue in and out of my mouth mirroring the actions of our rocking bodies. With each thrust, the pain lessened and was replaced by a pleasure just as intense. In no time at all we came undone, and as he filled me up with his seed, our eyes locked. The intensity in his stare sending a jolt through my body that sent me over the edge.

When it was all over, he rolled off of me, placing a chaste kiss on my lips then whispering in my ear, "I love you my wife. A better match I couldn't have made myself." Then he stood up from the bed and headed off to the bathroom, leaving me panting and blushing on the bed, a rush of calm spread through me, and I closed my eyes looking forward to the next meeting of our bodies.

Shortly after that scene I woke up flushed and content, perhaps this whole thing wasn't going to be so bad after all, I thought. I glanced over to the stack of diaries Alice had left and considered their content. I would definitely have to read some of them in the morning, but for now, I rolled over and closed my eyes again, hoping for round two.

**EPOV**

The evening had certainly been full of surprises. I hadn't expected to be told that my parents' marriage had been arranged, nor that I was now in the same situation. And I certainly hadn't expected to enjoy the time I had spent with Bella.

Talking with her was so simple after awhile. She and I really did seem to have a lot in common, but that didn't change the fact that I was being forced into a relationship with her, and that made me uncomfortable. No one likes to feel like their free will is being taken away from them, and that's exactly how I felt.

When I walked Bella up to bed, I was torn. Part of me wanted to just stop right there and freeze frame. I wanted to imagine that I had entered into a life with her by my own choice and that she was going to be mine because I had chosen it and willed it so, not because my parents had.

I was also struck by the reality that those few moments with her meant very little in the scheme of things. I still really didn't know her, and I certainly shouldn't have felt any devotion towards her, but I kind of did, and the whole think freaked me out. I was reminded that I had women throwing themselves at me all the time, so if ever there was a time to play the field, now was it.

I left Bella to go do some thinking alone, and I prayed that Alice would leave me alone. I also hoped she had kept her big fat mouth shut about the whole thing. The last thing I needed was more crap from Em and Jazz over my love life, or lack thereof.

So I was a little disappointed and not too surprise when shortly after I'd made the trip to my room she knocked on my door.

"Hello brother dear, can I come in?" she asked as she peeked through a crack in my door. I silently cursed myself for being so lost in thought that I hadn't locked it. When I didn't answer her, she took it as an invitation and crept across the threshold, quietly closing the door behind her. As she waltzed over to my bed she had a smirk on her face.

Plopping down at the foot she said "So…., um…, strange about Mom and Dad, huh?"

"Yeah," was all I could say.

"I know this is going to sound awful, but I'm glad it's you and not me. It's not just about Jasper, either. You've never let yourself get close to anyone and I think this will be good for you."

"Whatever," I shrugged back. I had gotten close to plenty of people so I was pretty sure that was a lie.

"So um listen, I was downstairs talking to Bella in her room, and I think I've figured out what you should do for your first date."

"You do, do you?" I looked at her, one eyebrow raised.

"Yup. You're going to take her to the fall formal," she practically squealed as she spoke, her Cheshire grin filling up her face. "Think about it. What a romantic evening, and it would be the perfect way to introduce her to everyone. Not to mention you're a fabulous dancer so it's sure to make a good impression."

"I'm not trying to impress her, Alice. Besides, she's a self proclaimed klutz, what makes you think that it's even her scene?"

"Actually, it's not. She already told me as much. She also urged me to warn you that she's likely to cause harm, to either you or herself if you dance with her, but I really think she's exaggerating. Besides, dancing is all in the leading, and you're awesome at that!"

"Flattery won't get you there." When I didn't say anything else, she broke out the big guns and started to pout.

"Please, Edward? For me? I can already see the evening happening. You both will have a great time, she's not going to hurt either of you, and just imagine how happy it would make Mom and Dad to see you making an effort, not to mention how great you'll make me feel," she added all the while giving me her puppy dog eyes and perfect pout. She always did know how to use that against me, and I'm not sure why I never learned to ignore it, maybe part of me liked having her run things for me.

"Fine," I sighed, and she shrieked with excitement.

"Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. You won't regret this, I promise! You're the best brother ever! I'll take care of everything, I promise. I know just what both of you should wear, I'll order the flowers, and you can share a limo with rest of us… Oh this is going to be so much fun! I've got to go get planning!" She leaped off my bed, clapping her hands, and then leaned over and gave me a quick hug and shot out my door.

I know she said I wouldn't regret it, and I rarely bet against Alice, but I still wasn't comfortable with the whole thing. How were we going to explain why I was going to the fall formal with our new houseguest who was for intents and purposes a stranger? What would everyone say if they knew the truth? With a sigh, I leaned back on my pillows; hands clasped behind my head, and closed my eyes, trying to imagine the night Alice had foreseen.

Unable to relax enough to picture anything, I got off my bed to hop into the shower. A hot shower always calmed me down. It was a great place to relax the muscles and do some thinking. On the way to the shower I practiced some of my dance steps. _I might as well warm up, _I thought.

**Bella's POV**

The night continued without anymore fireworks. In fact, my dreams were haunted by scenes of me abandoned at an alter, my mother being forced upon a man that wasn't my father, and me wandering in the woods chasing various shadows of men. It was truly a strange night, especially considering how it had begun. I had never had a sex dream like that, and couldn't wait for another one, although I had no clue where the scenes had originated from.

It was early morning when I grew tired of the tossing and turning, and the mind spinning scenes, so I decided to read my mother's diaries. I figured that perhaps the unknown was leading me to edginess and that wasn't good. I scanned through the stack of books to look for the first in her collection. Once found, I settled back against the headboard and cracked it open to the first page.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today, my mother gave you to me. She said it would help me keep my thoughts clear and preserve my feelings for the future generation. That, of course, is assuming there is one. I was just told that my parents have/had an arranged marriage. It surprised me, at least a little, but the real shocker came when I was told it was a family tradition, meaning that I am subject to the same fate. My mother has spoken up in my favor on this matter though, and at least I will have a few suitors to choose from. A meeting has been arranged with each one. I have no idea what I am going to say to any of them, or how I am going to choose. I have just a short time to make my choice, or else they will finish the task for me. I want to have some voice, but how does one choose the man they will spend the rest of their life with after just a short meet and greet session? Should I kiss him? I have always heard that a kiss can be so telling. I don't want to be looked at as someone who engages in such careless activities, but I need more information. I will pray for a sign. I guess that's the best that I can do. I am supposed to meet the first male tomorrow. I hope that he's nice and wonder if he's handsome. I don't know what else to say, so I'll just say goodnight._

Interesting. I hadn't realized that she was punching a time clock. I guess this could prove insightful then, since I was punching one as well. Although, mine seemed to have more time on it than hers, thankfully. I eagerly read on.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was my first meet and greet. Alec, was nice enough, at least so he seemed. He was kind of short and had dark hair. He had an air about him that definitely showed confidence. We talked about our favorite things, like food, colors, pastimes, etc. To be honest, we didn't have much in common. He has a twin sister named Jane, who was also present. She served as sort of the chaperone for our date. I don't think she cared for me much, but I suppose most girls are protective of their brothers. _

_I felt relatively numb in his presence. There wasn't any spark, and while I'm sure that he could take care of me financially speaking, I just can't stand the idea of spending the rest of my life with him. Did I mention that his sister gave me the creeps? Tomorrow is another day, and another intro. I hope it goes better._

It's interesting that my mother's first prospect was a guy with a twin sister. Although from the sounds of things, Alice was definitely way better than Jane. While I'm sure she is protective of Edward, she truly seems to care about me. I definitely wouldn't mind having her for a sister. To be honest, it would be nice to have a sibling of any kind, though. With both my parents gone, I was starting to feel completely alone in the world, despite being surrounded by so many people.

I moved on to her next entry.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today's victim was Felix. He had dark hair, as well; it was almost black in color. We went through the same rounds of Q & A I had the night before. Once again, I found I had pretty much nothing in common with a prospective suitor. He was definitely strong looking, build kind of like a linebacker. Without a doubt he would be a good protector, but again I just wasn't feeling it. This was not the man for me. I am beginning to think that my parents may have chosen no one good. Either that, or somehow they had swung the odds in their favor for me to choose the one they really wanted and only made it look like I was getting input. If that's the case, I wonder which one he is; will he be the next one?_

The picture was becoming more and more clear to me that perhaps when it is the right one you just know. Or, maybe my mom was right and all of the other guys had been picked to be duds on purpose. Still, given what my mother had said in her video about Grandma wanting her to have a choice, maybe not. One thing was for sure though, I had my work cut out for me if I was going to prove Edward was or was not the one, and I prayed for the sign my mother had waited for. I wonder if she ever got it.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard footsteps in the hallway. A quick glance at the alarm clock told me that everyone else must be up and on their way out the door to work, or school, or whatever. That was my cue to hoist myself out of bed. I certainly didn't want to waste the day away in the bedroom. I needed to get over to my house and continue to clean things out. Clearing away the past was part of the cleansing process and Lord knew I was in need of a little cleansing.

I headed off to the bathroom for a quick shower and to take care of the rest of my morning duties. Afterward, I descended the stairs and was greeted by Esme who was sitting on the same sofa she and Carlisle had the night before. The morning paper was in her hands, and a steaming coffee mug sat on the table beside her. She had looked up as soon as I had arrived at the bottom step. A simple smile said a lot.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you."

"That's good. And how was your little chat with Edward?"

"It was nice. Thank you for forcing us to talk. It was kind of nice sharing the anxiety and getting to know one another."

"I'm glad."

"Yeah, well. We both aren't rushing into anything, but we are willing to give things a try, as you and Carlisle have both laid out."

"He said as much. He also said that the two of you are going to the Fall Formal together. I'm so glad that you will be spending some quality time with each other."

"It was Alice's idea, and well she didn't really give us much of a choice."

She chuckled, "Yup. That sounds like my Alice. Still, I'm glad you are going to give it all a go."

"Quite frankly, we don't have much of a choice, do we?"

"No, I supposed that's true, but you could be more difficult about it than you are being, so thanks for that."

"Don't mention it, and I mean that. So listen, I figured I'd just grab some quick breakfast and then we could head over to the house, if that's okay with you."

"Certainly, whatever you want to do. Really, and Bella, I'm here if you want to talk."

"I know, and thanks for that. I just might take you up on that offer. After all, we're going to need to pass the time while packing somehow."

She just nodded and smiled at me as she picked up her coffee and took a hesitant sip. I returned her nod and exited to the kitchen. All of this thought had really brought out my appetite, and the thought of a nice Denver omelet was drawing me further in. The cooking would be a nice distraction from the reality of things, too.

**Okay, so that's all for now. I wish it could be more, but I've been sick this weekend and this is more than I could have hoped for. This was my first adventure into writing lemons so let me know what you think. Oh and show a sicko some love and review! Thanks a bunch!**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine…**_

**A/N: So, no lemons this round. Sorry. BUT…I hope I make up for it with other things. Enjoy!**

After breakfast, Esme and I headed over to my house, or better put my parents' house. The place seemed so cold and empty. I couldn't wait to clear it out and just move on with my life already.

I'm sure someone might think I was being cold, or heartless, but the truth was that I felt cold. The house was just a shell of the life I once lived. I needed to move on and couldn't do that if I dwelled in the memories and dreamed of a different reality.

My parents were gone, a fact I had faced, and I needed to move on. It wasn't like I didn't still love them, and no one would ever replace them in my life, but they were gone and soon their things would be too.

As we started to pick through the rubble of my former life, I began to think that it would be a great thing if charities would do this for you. I mean, I was planning on donating most of my parent's stuff to charity, and it would be nice if they would come over and pack it all up. It was hard looking at all of their old things. Our work began by clearing out their closet and dresser drawers.

My dad's old uniforms were hanging neatly in a line, just waiting for him to come put one on at any second. I gathered them up and set them aside, thinking that they should go back to the station. I wasn't sure what they'd do with them, but I figured it had to be against some law to give an officer's uniform away to someone that wasn't. I mean, impersonating an officer was a felony, so providing the means by which to do so could have been one too.

Besides his work outfits, his side of the closet was plagued with old denim jeans and flannel shirts. It basically screamed manly outdoors man, especially when you paired them with the work and hiking boots that sat on the floor. He also had a couple of ugly hats sitting on a shelf above everything.

One of them was a fishing hat that Mom and I had gotten him last Christmas. It was just a little baseball cap that said "You Have the Right to Remain Silent," and it had a fishing pole casting in the background. He had laughed at our little joke, and always wore that hat out fishing.

My mom's side of the closet was filled with a touch of everything. True to her eclectic nature, my mom wore things that were sometimes embarrassing and at other times just sad. She also had some fun stuff; at least I thought it was fun. I chuckled at the idea of Alice seeing the mess. She probably would have demanded my dad's handcuffs so she could take my mom into the fashion police!

Despite the massive quantities of clothes I would never wear and my desire to move on, I found it hard to pack it all away. I couldn't have been more thankful for Esme's presence. She was quiet, patient, and supportive. As I took my time examining every article of clothing in my parents' wardrobe, she picked up each item I discarded, folded it neatly and placed it in a box for donation. I never once felt pressured to get rid of something, or to hurry along.

"You know," Esme began, "after my parents passed away, I had to go through their things, and I had the hardest time getting rid of anything. I picked up a shirt my mother had worn that was never going to fit me and that was beyond hideous, but all I saw when I looked at the material that had deteriorated over the years to the point that you could see through it, was her smiling face. And while I'm not seamstress, I took a shirt of each of theirs and cut it up to make little hankies out of, not that I would ever use them, but I do keep one in my purse at all times. It's my way of keeping them with me."

She smiled warmly at me when she finished her speech, then went right back to folding things.

"I'd like to find a way to keep them with me too," I told her, "but I'm not much of the hankie carrying kind of girl."

"Well, maybe you'll find something in your mother's jewelry box. I didn't just take their shirts, you know. I took my mother's wedding and engagement rings, along with some gifts she had gotten from my father. I don't often wear them, but whenever I open my own jewelry box and see them lying next to my things, I can't help but smile."

"Hmmm….you might have a good idea there. My mom wasn't much for real jewelry, but I know I've admired some of it in the past. I guess I could remember them in that way."

"I'm sure your mother would like it a lot if you wore some of her things, Bella. Remember, though, we don't always need tangible ways to remember our loved ones. What you are doing with Edward is a great way to remember them and their love for you, not that I'm trying to push anything."

"Right, I know, you aren't trying to be pushy. And my parents are the exact reason why I am willing to give Edward a chance, but I am still looking at other prospects, too."

"Your mother wouldn't have it any other way, so I'm glad for that. I think that when you find true love, you'll know it, and the memory of your parents will show up in each day of your marriage. I have that with Carlisle. My parents were obviously key players in my ending up with him and my happily ever after, I will always be grateful to them for that, and my family will always be a reminder of them for me."

"Thanks Esme. You've been very supportive and helpful throughout all of this. I know it can't be easy for you to leave the arrangement up in the air when it involves your son."

"On the contrary, actually, I feel even better about the situation because it involves my son. I want you both to be happy and loved by someone special. I stand firm in our decision that the two of you would be that for each other, but sometimes we have to see things for ourselves, and your mother wanted that for you. Her love for you had placed the idea in my head as well, so in a way I am relieved that this is the route we are taking. I think it's best for everyone."

"Why do you say that? I mean, you are so happy with an arranged marriage and that's what you originally wanted. Why the change of heart?"

"Well Bella, dear, sometimes it is the things that we have to work for that we appreciate most. Not to mention that when it is your own choice, I think you both will appreciate the outcome more. You will be able to take pride in the direction you have placed your lives. You'll see; it will all work out for the best."

"I guess only time will tell. I mean, my parent's death has shown that not all things turn out as planned and anything can happen…Thanks for the pep talk, though. I'm glad that you are here for me."

"Anytime Bella. Anytime," and she smiled again. Her kindness was so soothing, and her presence reminded me that I wasn't alone in this world. I silently thanked my parents for choosing such a caring woman to be a part of my life. It reminded me that they occasionally did have good taste.

**EPOV**

As I sauntered off to the bathroom after my confrontation with Alice, I thought I was really acting like an idiot. If Jazz and Emmett saw me now, I would be dead meat. I was practically mooning over the idea of taking Bella to the Fall Formal. How in the hell was I going to explain that one? So ummm, guys, have you met my future wife? Or rather possible future wife? I mean, she's the one my parents want me to marry, but apparently I can make my own decision, provided that I do it by graduation.

Yeah, I could just imagine that conversation. Jazz and Emmett would be encouraging me to do the whole sew your wild oats thing, an idea that had never interested me, but I'd be an idiot to act like I was ready to commit to anyone at this point. I'm not a gambling man, but if I were I'd be the kind that stacked the odds in my favor. Not jumping into anything was in my favor right now, just as much as it was in Bella's.

I took a quick shower, and hopped into bed. My mind was swimming with thoughts and images of Bella in a gorgeous formal gown, then a wedding dress, then just jeans and a sweatshirt. That girl looked good in anything!

I had to talk to someone about everything that was going on, and I didn't want it to be my dad. Of course, we would talk, I had agreed to that, but I needed another opinion. My sister was going to owe me big after I confided in Jasper. He seemed like the best choice. Now all that was left was the when and how of telling him. I closed my eyes and started to formulate a plan.

When I woke up in the morning to the annoying beep beep beep of my alarm clock, I nearly pitched the stupid thing across the room. I didn't want to get up. It had been a long night, and it was going to be an even longer day. I had made up my mind to talk with Jasper after school. I had plans to hang out at his place anyways, and Emmett had plans with Rosalie which meant we'd have some time alone. That was a good thing.

Alice had already told me that she was going to help my mom and Bella with clearing out her folks' place or some shit, so it was after school or never. I really didn't want to wait any longer than that. I had to talk with someone else, and I needed a guy in my corner, who I knew wasn't a complete douche. At least I hoped he wasn't considering that he was dating my sister.

When I couldn't prolong getting out of bed any longer, I hurriedly got ready for school and practically bolted out the door to my Volvo. That car was my sanctuary, and it was on days like today that I was more than happy I had it. As I got in, I cranked up the radio. The rock station playing was blasting Breaking Benjamin, a fitting tone for my mood.

As I pulled into the parking lot next to my sister's rather ostentatious yellow Porsche 911, I couldn't help but wonder why my parents would buy her such an ugly thing. It was more flash than class; a far cry from my silver baby. I had a bullet, and all that she had was a banana.

I remember the day we got our cars. It was for our 16th birthday and my parents had been asking us for a couple of years what our dream cars would be like. It was always in the context of their own dreams, and I never thought anything of it, until that morning when we left to go to our traditional breakfast brunch and were greeted by the cars in the driveway, big red bows and all! It was an AWESOME surprise, and remembering it reminded me that not all surprises are bad, and that sometimes my parents truly did have my best interests at heart.

I took a deep breath and sighed. It really was going to be a long day, and I just couldn't wait to talk to Jasper after school. I stepped out of my car into the crisp autumn air, and shutting my door gently behind me walked off toward the school. Alice was sitting at a picnic table near the entrance with the whole gang gathered around her, and I hoped that she remembered not to say anything about the current situation to anyone. Thankfully, I walked in on one of her "Why I am the best" speeches.

When it seemed like she had run out of things to say, Emmett reached out and punched my shoulder, "So Eddie, we hear that you have a mystery date for the Fall Formal, care to fill us in?"

"Huh? I don't know what you're talking about, and you know I hate it when you call me Eddie."

"Yeah, I do, which is why I said it. Now stop playing dumb and fill us in on the lucky lady. Alice told us that she is someone very special to you both."

"She did, huh? I wonder what else she's told you."

"Not much. She's being very mysterious about it all, but she did say that it was her idea and that's why she's awesome, or something along those lines. She said this girl is your future, she's positive about it, and you know how we feel about betting against Alice!"

"Yeah, I know how we all feel. She does seem to have a sixth sense or something, but it could come from sticking her nose where it doesn't belong, too," I glared at my little pixie of a sister, if this came back to bite me in the ass, she was going to pay.

"Well, I guess if she left it a mystery, I will too. Afterall, we all know how much my sweet sister loves a good secret. Let's just agree to keep THIS. ONE," I stared at her with eyebrows raised and eyes boring into her skull for added effect, then I smiled my widest evil grin, and turned to walk away.

"I'll see you guys later! I've got some stuff to do before class starts," I called back with a raise of my hand in a wave, but I remained facing forward while I walked off.

Who was I kidding? I didn't have anything planned to kill time, but I had to get out of there, and that seemed like the best possible escape route. On my way inside I accidentally bumped into Jessica. When I apologized, she seemed flushed and beyond happy I had made contact with her. Ugh, she made me sick.

This was my life. Girls always threw themselves at me, for one reason or another. Some of them were after money, some after status, but they all wanted something more than to just be with me. None of the girls who chased after me had half a brain, and holding a conversation with them was like talking to a two year old. Most of the girls chasing me were attractive, to say the least, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and there were plenty of things NOT beautiful about them.

Take for instance Jessica. She was a skank. There was no better way to put it. Talk in the locker room and around school proved that she'd had more pricks than a second-hand dartboard. In fact, besides my closest friends and myself, I'm not sure there was anyone in the school she hadn't had yet. Just from bumping into her, I felt the need to change clothes and jump into a scalding shower to wash off the scum.

I excused myself hastily to the men's room, not that my being there would necessarily stop her, but I prayed she didn't follow. I had to get away from everyone and clear my head. While in the bathroom, I realized that here I was being given the golden opportunity to go wild, catch all the fish I wanted (so to speak), in order to test out the variety of the world, but I was only given a small aquarium to cast into. And what I was looking at was nothing I would want at my local fish market.

This was not only going to be a long day, but a long few months. If I was truly going to open up my options, I was going to need to look someplace other than a locale that had never interested me. Talking to Jasper was a good idea, but Emmett is the one that was the party animal, and if anyone knew about other options, it was him.

Shit. Emmett would never let off if he knew the circumstances. Jasper and I would have to find a way to trick him into helping me explore. Although to be honest, I wasn't so sure I wanted to anymore. Considering Emmett's intellect, I couldn't imagine any of the girls he knew were all that brilliant or cultured, and if I was being truthful, that was something I wanted in a woman.

I wanted someone that could appreciate my music, carry on a conversation with me about classic literature, and wouldn't laugh at the idea of going to an art museum to actually see the art and not just want to find a dark corner to screw around in. I wanted someone that could appreciate fine foods and enjoyed poetry. And I really wanted someone whose vocabulary went beyond words found in Cosmo. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted someone like Bella.

A tightening in my chest at that thought was just the onset of the panic that would ensue.

**BPOV**

Esme and I passed most of the time at my parents' in silence. The only sounds made came from the shuffling of items and the packing of boxes. Around noon we decided to take a break for lunch and went to this charming little café that I had passed before, but never been in. She informed me that my mother used to love it.

In fact, it was where she and Esme had done a majority of their deep thinking and talking.

"You know, they have a great special," she said, "It's a slice of quiche and a side salad. Your mother's favorite was the Quiche Lorraine with a Caesar Salad. I think I'll get that today in her honor."

"Oh, that actually sounds pretty good. I think I'll order that too. Thanks Esme."

"I bet your mother would have liked that. So, how do you think things are going?"

"Well, we've covered most of their bedroom, their bathroom, and the hall's linen closet. I am positive we'll be finished before the end of the week."

"You don't have to be in any hurry to get rid of things, you know."

"Yes, I do, but this is just something I have to finish in order to move on."

"I understand perfectly. I felt the same way after clearing away my folks' things. Sometimes, it's easier to go on living when those who are no longer with us are cleared from our world. Even though it's hard to get through the clearing."

"Exactly. Otherwise it just keeps looking like their on a trip or something and could come back at any second."

"Well, you are definitely being mature about this whole thing. I don't know if I could have done all of this when I was your age."

"Growing up with the parents that I did, you mature fast…I'm sorry, that didn't sound right. I mean they were great, but my mom was never the really motherly type, you know? And my dad was just really busy being an officer of the law. I just had to grow up and take care of myself and them; it was just part of who I was."

"I understand. You were definitely prepared to handle a lot thanks to your upbringing, and I wouldn't have thought that you found them unfit parents. I know I didn't. Everyone is different. We all parent in our own way, but in the end we have our love in common. And they loved you a lot. I know they would be very proud."

"Thanks. I know they loved me, and I love them too. I am kind of proud of them for thinking ahead. I do wonder what brought it about, though."

"Well, even I couldn't tell you that."

Our food was delivered, and the conversation ended there; the time being filled with the sounds of forks scraping plates and bowls and our mouths stuffed with food. It really was delicious. Once again, I saw my mother's good taste.

When we'd finished eating, Esme paid the bill, and we headed back out to the car. "Alice will be coming by after school to help us pack up some more things, or maybe we could just go do something girly, if you feel up to it," Esme informed me.

"You know, I think I could use a break. What did you have in mind?"

"Alice would suggest shopping, but if you're not up to it…"

"Actually, could we go shopping for stuff for my room? I think I'd like to redecorate. It will be easier for me to move on without remnants of my old life showing up."

"That's a great idea, Bella! I have some thoughts that we can discuss while we load up more things. Then we can drop them off at the Goodwill. To be honest, I've had all of the walk down memory lane that I can take for one day, and you'd be doing me a favor by calling it quits right now."

"Okay, Esme. That sounds nice."

"Great! I'll just text Alice about our change of plans, and don't worry; I'll keep us away from the mall. If I don't, we'll never get anything accomplished."

I laughed at that. Being with Esme was really nice. She wasn't trying to mother me, or really be my friend; she was just being there for me. It made me feel warm, and calm, and safe. She had some great qualities, and if I ended up marrying Edward, I hoped that he had inherited them. From what I'd seen so far, I was pretty sure he had.

**A/N: Okay, so while I am inspired to write more, if I'm going to keep up with my weekly posting deadline, I must post with this. I'll write more next chapter, and we can read about how the shopping trip went, how Edward broke the news to Jasper, and any other tidbits because I write what the voices in my head tell me to. lol Thanks for reading! PLEASE REVIEW! ******


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm really sorry I didn't get to update last weekend. My son's been sick this, which has made it hard to get much done. I really appreciate everyone's understanding. Thanks for favoriting me as a story and author, and thank you even more for reviewing. ******** I really love getting your feedback, and if you have a good idea I might use it (I'd credit you, of course). I'm getting close to 100 reviews which is awesome! I love to hear your thoughts! **

_**Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine…**_

**EPOV**

After my slight panic attack in the bathroom eased, I headed out to class. The day itself, was relatively dull and uneventful. At lunch I remained silent and tried to tune out the conversation. Everyone kept giving me strange looks, and I started to wonder what exactly Alice had said to everyone.

Once school was over and I was hanging at Jasper's the opportunity came to find out. Jasper and I were goofing around playing Mario Kart Wii, when I let him beat me. While he was busy running around doing his usual celebrating, I was biding my time. After his typical victory lap around the living room, he came in for one final bow of recognition, and I rushed forward. I quickly put him into a headlock.

"Owe, dude! What the fuck?" he grunted from under my arms.

"Tell me what Alice told you!" I yelled at him.

"What? What are you talking about? If this is about this morning, she didn't say anything beyond what we told you at the table. Now let me go!" he called, but I tightened my grip on him.

"You lie. I love my sister dearly, but she can't keep a secret any better than Jessica Stanley can keep her legs shut! Now tell me what you know!"

"No offense dude, but I can't. I mean, while this hurts like hell, what she could do to me would hurt WAY more!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that!"

"You want to bet? I can take just about all the physical abuse you can give me, but I prefer not to develop a case of blue balls. You feel me?"

"That's beyond gross man!" I said as I freed him and shoved him away from me. "This is my sister we're talking about here."

"I know, but that doesn't change the fact that she's my girlfriend, too."

"Yeah, but I thought we had a rule. I'd look the other way and not kill you for violating the innocence of my sister, just as long as you didn't remind that you were doing it."

"I'm sorry man, but you left me with no choice."

"Whatever; just tell me what she told you. I promise I won't tell her anything about it. The truth is, I was planning on giving you all the details today, and it would really help if I knew what facts you already have."

"Is that all? Well, why didn't you just say so? I mean, there was no need to get all WWF on me about something you were GONNA say anyways! Geez my man!"

"Well, I figured if I was going to be bearing my soul to you, I should at least get some kind of satisfaction over it. I mean you should have seen your face when your curtain call was interrupted."

"Ha ha, very funny, you don't have to be all sore loser, just because I kicked your ass."

"Hey, I just let you win. I've been planning this whole thing all day! I mean think about it, have I ever been such a shitty driver?"

"Well, that still doesn't change the fact that You. Suck."

"Fine, say what you want. Will you just tell me what my loud mouthed sister told you already?"

"It wasn't anything big. She just said that your parents set you up with this Bella chick, and that she's the one that's staying at your house. That's about all. Really, it's not much more than what we said at the table this morning, and I'm the only one who knows anything past the table talk. She didn't say a word to Em and Rose, I made her promise."

"Well, my parents made her promise too, but that didn't help, clearly."

"You parents didn't bargain with her."

"I don't even want to know! But, thanks for having my back there. I don't think those two are ready for all of this yet."

"So, it's true then? You're actually dating a girl your parents set you up with?"

"There's more to it than that, actually. The other night, my parents sat us all down and told us that their marriage to one another had been arranged by our grandparents, just as it had been for them and for generations before. It's a tradition in our family to have arranged marriages. Then, there was a video saying basically the same thing about Bella's parents."

"Wait, so you're parents had an arranged marriage and it's tradition to do that? Does that mean…" fear encompassed his features.

"No, you and Alice are safe. Just as long as the two of you are together and happy my parents said they won't intervene."

"That's a relief, but that means…"

"Yup, Bella isn't just my date for the formal. She is sort of my fiancée. We each have until graduation to find someone else that could be our life partner, or else we are subject to the fate they've arranged."

"Wow! That sucks dude!"

"Tell me about it! The fact that choices are being taken away, sucks, but what actually sucks even great, is the more I think about what I might want in the person I marry, the more things seem to point to Bella."

"WOW! That's deep, man. So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, but that's why I'm telling you all of this. I'm going to need someone to talk with, and you were the only one I could think of. Plus, I really do want to see what's out there, and I have to look outside of our little circle because I've clearly not found anyone of interest here. I need your help finding other prospects."

"Wait. You want me to go trolling for girls with you?"

"Well, sort of. Not really. I don't know. I thought maybe Emmett in his party animal ways would have access to lots of other girls, but I didn't want to talk to him about all of this. I needed it to be casual, you know?"

"I don't understand. You just said that you like Bella, didn't you? So, why are you trying to look somewhere else?"

"I DO like Bella, but this is all happening too fast. It's too serious! I can't do this right now! I mean, I'm too young to be talking marriage, let alone with a girl I've just met!"

"I don't know; I was pretty sure your sister was the one for me without any big freakout."

"So you're saying that if my parents told you that you and Alice would be married after graduation you would be cool with that?"

"Actually, yeah I think I would. Do you think they'd be okay with that? I mean, do you think they'd be okay with me asking her to marry me? It's just something that's been running through my mind lately. I thought maybe they'd think we were too young for that kind of commitment or something, but I know what I want, and I'm pretty sure Alice feels the same way."

"Yeah, she does. You two are perfect for each other. As far as my parents are concerned, they'd probably be cool with it. It could put more pressure on me though, so you think you could hold off on the asking?"

"Sure. I want to get her a nice ring first, anyways."

"This whole thing makes me feel uneasy. I mean, on the one hand I like Bella. A. Lot. On the other hand, though, it feels wrong having those feelings with something that you were pretty much forced upon. Not to mention that the natural order of things just does not work out like this. I mean, isn't it supposed to be man meets woman, man falls in love with woman, he decides to marry her, and they live happily ever after?"

"Isn't that kind of what's happening here? I mean, you've met her, you have feelings for her, in the end you either meet someone else or end up marrying her, and then the last part, well that I can't help you with."

"Well, the marriage thing isn't a choice really. If I don't meet someone else then I will have to marry her, assuming she hasn't met someone else. There's no choice."

"That's not entirely true. I believe that if neither of you find someone else, it's because it was meant to be and nothing more."

"So you're saying that if neither of us find someone else by graduation it's not because we had too small of a pond to fish from, but because we're the only ones for each other?"

"That's what I'm saying."

"Interesting theory…I guess we'll have to wait and see with that. Now, are you going to help me or what?"

"What exactly am I helping you with again?"

"You're helping me find more fish, so to speak."

"You're killing me with the fishing analogies, you know that right?"

"It's all I can come up with, now will you help me or not?"

"Fine. I'll help you, but only because I love your sister, and believe she's right. I don't think you're going to find what you're looking for anywhere else, but you'll have to see that for yourself."

"Everyone else is so sure about that, but in the end I really don't care who's right. I just hope that I can feel better about the course my life is on at that point."

"Well, that seems like a fair thing to hope for."

"Thanks man. Now, how 'bout a rematch?"

"Sure, why not, but I'm still going to kick your ass!"

**BPOV**

The shopping trip turned out to be both wonderful and brutal.

After visiting one furniture store after another, I'd finally found the perfect bed, and that only happened because I gave in to all the suggestions from Alice and Esme. In truth, I didn't really care what my bed looked like. I enjoyed the sleigh bed that was currently in the room, but it seemed too classy or over the top for my personality, not to mention it wasn't really mine.

I also had a very hard time not stressing about the price tags. I couldn't stand the idea of spending that much money on a bed! Then, they each kept reminding me that I could be shopping for the bed I might share with Edward, or whoever my husband turned out to be.

Thinking about that made me wonder what kind of style a man would like. And if I was really being honest with myself, I was more concerned with what Edward would think. When considering him, I thought of how much I'd compared him to a statue, perfectly carved out of marble.

I was in the midst of this thought when I noticed a bed that looked as if it was made from marble. It had sleek lines that screamed contemporary but still held some elegance. I knew right then, it was perfect. Esme agreed, citing that it would fit in perfectly with one of the color schemes she had cooked up.

So, it turned out I was going to have a room with a Twilight Garden theme. The colors were black, red, silver, and white. The goal was to incorporate those shades in striping and then add subtle floral accents. It was going to be the perfect balance of masculine and feminine tastes.

It was apparently something she had seen recently for a baby's room, which I thought was odd, but it sounded like a great combination. While we saw some really great bedding at the furniture store, nothing was really what any of us seemed to want, so we moved on.

True to her word, Esme kept us away from the mall, so thankfully all of our shopping remained focused on the furnishing and decorating of the room and not on the renovation of my wardrobe.

I was more than uncomfortable when it was all said and done with the cost of everything we'd bought. Although I was never allowed to look when it was all totaled up, I'm pretty smart and can estimate the bill based on price tags of other things.

With the new bed, coordinating dresser with mirror combo and nightstand, we had racked up quite a bit just on basic bedroom furniture. Add to that the linens and pillows, which admittedly I splurged a little on because I really love the warmth and comfort of down, not to mention the silk sheets which Alice had insisted on, and the paint and accessories that Esme selected, it was a beyond expensive shopping trip that phased neither of my companions in the least.

And despite all of the cost and the craziness of trying to find the perfect things, and listening to suggestions (because clearly I have no taste at all), I really had a great time. Alice joked with me and whispered little secrets about her and Jasper, some of which I could have lived without knowing, like why she knew so much about how great silk sheets were, and Esme offered me suggestions, but was never forceful and thankfully never brought up anything about our day.

I think we both were in need of a break from all of the drama. Delivery for all of the furniture was arranged for Saturday, and with all of our other new purchases in hand, we headed home. It was actually nice to think of it like that.

I was starting to see Alice as a really close friend, if not a sister, neither of which I'd ever had before. Esme was motherly, but not in an overpowering way. I hadn't really interacted much with Carlisle, but he seemed like a nice enough guy, and Edward, well he was complicated, but I still liked the idea of heading back to the house to be with everyone.

When we arrived at the house, it turned out that Carlisle was working late, and Edward wasn't back yet from Jasper's. That left just us girls to continue our girls' night of fun.

"So, what do we want to do?" Esme asked us. I looked at Alice, and had no idea what she was thinking, but all I could do was dread her response. With my luck she was going to suggest something like a makeover.

Before she was able to get anything out, I sucked up my nerves and made a suggestion, "When I was home alone with my mom for a girls' night, we used to sit around eating ice cream and watching chick flicks. Sometimes, we would watch the really awful ones and joke about how those things never happened in real life, and sometimes we'd see one that would make us wonder how to trick Charlie into watching it. My mom always had this horrible tell though, it was just a look she got in her eyes when she approached him, so he always knew we were up to something!"

They both laughed at that idea. I didn't add what rolled through my head just after that, which was even though he knew what was up, he'd pretend that he didn't and let us torture him for a few minutes, before throwing a big old fake tantrum about watching a sissy flick. The thought both enlightened and saddened me, and I didn't want to damper the mood.

"That sounds like it could be fun. OR, and I'm just throwing this out there, we could still do the ice cream thing, but instead of watching chick flicks we could go upstairs and start painting your new room," Alice suggested.

Thankfully, Esme came to my rescue, "I think it may be too late for painting tonight, Alice. There is no way the paint would dry soon enough, and even if it did, she's not going to spend the night in there with all of those fumes. Where would she sleep?"

"In my room of course!" she came back.

"Well, that's sweet of you, Alice, but you have school tomorrow, and I can't see the two of you getting much sleep together."

I smiled at that. Esme really did know her daughter well.

"Fine!" she pouted, "but there ARE other guest rooms, or she could always sleep with Edward."

I opened my mouth to object, but nothing came out, and again Esme rescued me,

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Alice. Honestly, it's really too late, and I wouldn't dream of forcing one more thing on Edward or Bella, for that matter. I don't know how you could even suggest such a thing."

"I don't know; it seems like a good idea to me," she replied, "but I suppose you're right. I really should be putting myself into his position, and I guess I could see how forcing them to spend the night together isn't nice. I'm sorry Bella," she turned towards me with her lower lip jutted out in apology.

"It's fine, really. I know you're just excited to do something."

"Well, since you're being so understanding, I have another great idea!"

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Yes, and this one doesn't involve paint at all."

Since I placed nail polish and make-up in the same category of paint, I felt safe. "Alright, I'll bite. What's the great idea?"

"I thought maybe you'd like to see the dress I have for you for the Fall Formal, and then we could start looking at shoes and accessories online. I promise it won't hurt, and I'm sure you'll love the dress. Mom has already seen it, and she agrees with me that it's great."

I glanced over at Esme in disbelief, "I did offer my approval, Bella. Alice showed it to me as soon as she told me the great news about you and Edward going together. I think you'll have a wonderful time, and if nothing else, this dress should make you feel like a princess."

"I bought it at Saks. It's made by Carmen Marc Valvo, and it's a basket weave silk chiffon gown that gathers at the top to form an empire waist. Then chiffon is draped everywhere to add drama. There is a deep V in the front and back, and a flared and ruffled hem. Oh and it has cap sleeves and is like a forest greeny kind of color. It's fabulous!"

I looked at her in disbelief. Most of what she said was in like a foreign language, and all I knew was it likely pointed to something expensive. Knowing I would surely regret it later, I agreed to take a look.

"I know you're going to love it! You could even try it on right now, if you like."

"Um, no thanks. I said I'd look at it, I'm not making any promises."

"It will be fine," she prodded as she started to drag me towards the stairs.

"Why don't you two go ahead without me. I have some things to do down here. I won't be far if you need me, though."

I glanced back at Esme, silently wishing she'd change her mind, but completely understanding her lack of eagerness to face the next however many minutes with Alice looking at stuff for a dance she wasn't going to. I didn't even want to do it, and I was the one who would be stuck wearing whatever we found.

When we got upstairs and Alice showed me the dress, I immediately looked at the price tag. "You spent $940 on a dress that, assuming I agree to wear it, will likely only be worn like once?!?!?!?" I screamed at Alice in disbelief.

"First of all, you only live once. Secondly, did you look at this gown? It's gorgeous! You can't put a price on beauty like this."

"I beg to differ; they did and it's $940."

She just rolled her eyes at me. "You know very well I didn't mean it like that. It's the perfect gown for you. It will fit well with your skin tone, hair and eye color, screams fall, and has just the right amount of fancy flair to really attract attention."

"But I don't WANT to attract attention. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not much for having all eyes on me."

"Of course I've noticed, hence the dress. There were a lot of other stunning choices, believe me. I looked at a couple of lovely maroon gowns, and several more that screamed classy and sexy, but I knew you wouldn't like that kind of attention. This dress will offer just the right amount. You won't get dismissed as being beneath the crowd, your natural beauty will be acknowledged, and if nothing else, you'll make Edward the luckiest guy at the dance. Well, second luckiest actually, after Jasper, of course."

"Oh, of course," I replied sarcastically. Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"At least try it on before you dismiss it. Come on, please?" Again, she came at me with that puppy dog eyes and pout combo. "I will get on my hands and knees and beg if I have to…"

I thought about how amusing that would be to see, but decided to be nice. After all, it really did seem like she had put some thought into the purchase, and while I still didn't approve of the cost, you only lived once. If nothing else, losing my parents had taught me that.

"Fine," I acquiesced, taking the dress from her. "Where should I change?"

"You can go into my bathroom, over there. Let me know if you need any help."

I plodded of to where she had pointed. Once in the bathroom, I hung the dress on a hook at the back of the door. Then, after undressing down to my underwear, I carefully unzipped the dress. I noticed it had a silk lining, and I actually couldn't wait to get the thing on. I stepped gingerly into the dress and then started to do up the back zipper. I was too worried to look in the mirror so I just took a deep breath and stepped out of the room.

"Oh. My. God! It's perfect, just like I knew it would be," Alice said with a huge grin on her face. "What do you think?"

"It's surprisingly comfortable. You really think it looks okay?"

"Beyond okay, it's fabulous. Didn't you look?"

"I didn't have the nerve."

"Here," she said, pulling me off towards her closet and revealing a three-way mirror, "look."

I stood there stunned. The dress hugged my body in all the right places, and flowed freely. I couldn't believe it, but I loved it! I never would have spent so much on a dress, but since I didn't buy it, and Alice wouldn't have taken no for an answer anyway, I was surprisingly relieved.

"I'm going to go get my mom. She has to see this!" she said as she ran out of the room.

While she was gone, I just stood there, staring in the mirror. Examining the dress from all of its different angles, I had to admit that the shopping sprite had good taste. I was just about to turn away when I looked up into the mirror and met the gaze of Edward's glorious green eyes. I was suddenly struck by how well the green in the dress accented them.

"Wow," he exclaimed. "I am so going to owe Alice for this. Is that the dress she picked out for the dance?"

"Um, yeah. I was just trying it on, and well, yeah it is." _Why did I always become so incoherent around him?_ The heat of his gaze was causing my body temperature to rise in response. My cheeks were probably beet red at that point. I needed to turn away from him before he caught the blush, and I started to, but he reached forward and caught me.

"Please, don't turn away from me. You're beautiful when you blush, you know that?" I cast my eyes down, the blush intensifying even more. If he kept staring at me, I felt as though I would spontaneously combust.

Suddenly, we were both startled out of the moment by Alice's sharp voice, "What. Are. You. Doing. In here?" she broke up the words for added anger impact, or maybe she was hyperventilating, it was kind of hard to tell.

Edward shook his head, and as we both looked at each other again, he dropped his hold on my arm and apologized.

"The door was open, and, well I was on my way to my room and, yeah, I'm sorry Alice. I didn't mean to invade your privacy, either of you," he quickly turned and walked out of the room.

"Alice, you didn't have to be so hard on him," Esme scolded, "I'm sure he didn't mean any harm."

"Right, Alice. He didn't hurt anything. What's the big deal?" I asked.

"The surprise element of the evening is ruined now, and that's not a big deal?"

Esme and I both just looked at each other and shook our heads. "Really, you don't have to be so dramatic about it. There's plenty that will still be a surprise. So he saw the dress. Bella won't look exactly the same the next time he sees her in it. She'll have her hair done, and makeup, plus there are still accessories. Alice, it's really not the end of the world."

As Esme spoke, Alice looked as if she was coming back from the precipice she had been heading towards that had her on the brink of tears, and a smile began to show.

"Well, at least I know one thing for sure, now. HE LOVES THE DRESS!" she practically squealed as she came over and wrapped her arms around me. And just like that, the anger and sadness she that had darkened the area was replaced with laughter and jubilation.

"Are you sure you're not bipolar or something, Alice?" I asked.

"Why?" she looked at me confused.

"No reason," we all just laughed again.

"Bella, why don't you go take the dress off and hang it back up. It really does look wonderful on you. My daughter does have tremendous taste. Then, we can all go downstairs for some ice cream and you can use the computer in my home office to look for accessories and things. That should guarantee privacy from any prying eyes. Alice, do you approve?"

"Oh, thank you, Mom! You always know how to make everything better!" she exclaimed as she ran over and hugged Esme.

"I'll just be waiting downstairs," she said as she turned and closed the door.

I headed back into the bathroom and began to carefully remove the dress. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins. My heart was beating fast after everything. The look Edward had given me, had taken my breath away, not that I had been breathing much before that anyway. And when he had touched me, I swear my heart had stopped. The dress had been perfect. It fit beautifully, felt wonderful against my skin, it was just great. I had to admit that if nothing else, I could put my faith in Alice's fashion sense.

After returning the gown to its hanger and redressing, I headed out. Without a word, Alice and I wrapped the dress back up in its garment bag and returned it to her closet. Before we left the room, Alice gave me the tightest hug I've ever had.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"For liking the dress," she replied.

"Listen, Alice. I do like the dress. More than I probably should actually, given its cost. I want you to know how grateful I am for all of this. You have been really open and supportive, and well, just awesome actually. I guess what I'm trying to say si, I'm glad you're here, that's all."

"Oh Bella," she exclaimed as she embraced me once again, "you don't know how much that means to me. I'm really glad that you're here, too. And I'm sorry I lost it, when I found you two together. I was just really looking forward to surprising Edward is all, but I guess I only have myself to blame since I'm the one who left the door open."

"Don't be too hard on yourself, okay? It's not that big of a deal, really. Some things are just out of our control."

"You've got that right. Okay, well at least I can keep him from seeing the rest of things. Let's go look at accessories and stuff. I'm going to make sure you look so good that he'll need a bib to catch all the drool!"

I laughed at her, but I had to admit that I liked the idea of having a guy drool over me for once. Maybe this whole dance thing wasn't going to be so bad after all. Alice had said it would be great, and I was starting to learn not to doubt her.

**OKAY. So, that's all for now, but I'll be opening the next chapter up with Edward's thoughts after he returns to his room. Check my profile for pics of her bed, and the dress. Let me know what you all think! I took a lot of searching and I'm still not sure I got it all right, but I think the dress is awesome!**


	12. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: As always, Twilight's not mine._

_**A/N: Thanks as always for the reviews. Be warned that there is mild citrus action here.**_

**EPOV**

I felt like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with the gentleman side of me, battling the hormonal teenager side. What the sight of Bella in that gown did to me was all consuming. The moment I walked in and saw her, my heart stopped and my breath hitched. While the blood wasn't pumping in my chest anymore, it definitely was in my pants, and the strain was practically unbearable. After I met her gaze, there was no way that I could resist touching her.

When I got closer and told her how beautiful she was, her blush told me that she hadn't heard that often enough and probably didn't really believe it. With my hand on her, the current that flowed out of her body and into mine was enough to light an entire city. The teenage motherfucker in me wanted to just rip the gown off of her, believing it would look just as lovely balled up in the corner of the room as it did hugging her sensuous curves, but the gentleman in me longed for contact that was passionate, but civilized.

It was actually a relief when my angry pixie of a sister came in and gave me a lecture about respecting her boundaries. By the way she'd reacted though; you'd think I would have walked in on my wife in her wedding dress, and not my potential future wife in a dress for a formal we were being dragged to together.

Rushing out of the room apologetically, I all but ran into my room, immediately locking the door behind me. As soon as I was safe, I headed for the one sanctuary I could find in times like this, my shower. Reflecting on those brief moments with Bella had my cock pulsing painfully, and if I didn't get some relief soon, there would be hell to pay.

While the hot water filled the room with steam, I stripped out of my clothes, springing my erection free. And as I stepped into the hot shower, feeling the water cascading down over me, I palmed my cock. Closing my eyes, I imagined it was Bella's hand firmly grasping me while I pressed our lips together, locking them in a tender embrace.

In less than a minute, I could almost feel our tongues dancing together, caressing one another like her palm on my flesh. I gripped myself harder, imagining Bella tracing kisses slowly down my chest, continuing further following the map of my happy trail. Then, tightening my grip even more, I pictured her mouth drawing me into it, sucking deep and hard on me like I was a straw with the only source of nourishment at its base.

My mind dissolved my motions with hers in seconds. The pictures dancing in my head, combined with the remnants of the power that had flowed between us in our short time of contact had my balls tightening to the point of explosion in no time.

While my release rocketed out of me and onto my hand, being washed away by the spray, I glanced down and noted that while the physical ramifications of my feelings were easy to dispose of, things were way deeper than I had even realized.

The question was no longer if I wanted Bella to be my wife, but more of whether she wanted that. Seeing her in that gown with her blushing so innocently, made me want her that much more, but we both had agreed on the need to see what else was out there. I know she wanted to look, and I didn't want to stop her from that. Nor was I entirely ready to take the hand I'd been dealt. Yet with each passing day and new moment spent in her presence, it was becoming clearer that this was something special.

As I finished up in the shower, cleaning away all evidence of my recent activities and trying to wipe my mind clear as well, I became aware that I needed to talk to my father, soon. And not only that, but I needed to speak with Bella again, too. Communication was an important thing in any relationship. I just didn't know how much I should communicate to her. Did I tell her that she was perfect to me in almost every way? Should I tell her to give up on her search? Should I give up on mine?

There were just too many questions to be answered, and tonight was not the night for answering them. Pictures of my beautiful Bella, the belle of the ball, were replaying in my mind. No man can think clearly with thoughts like that in his head. I resolved myself to sleep on things. Maybe everything would be clearer in the morning.

**BPOV**

Shopping online with Alice was an interesting experience, to say the least. I mean how would I know if I liked a pair of shoes until I tried them on? She kept insisting that it didn't really matter whether the shoes were comfortable, just as long as they were cute. All I could do was roll my eyes at her.

Over the course of a 10 minute period I had shot down several of her suggestions and earned myself quite a few dirty looks for my own. All the shoes that looked like they could keep me on my feet weren't all that attractive, and everything she found that was "adorable" could have made me a lethal weapon. In the end it was decided that I would just have to go try shoes on since I wouldn't believe a heel was a good idea, and she wouldn't concede it would be a bad one.

On the plus side, she did stop suggesting things with 5 inch heels, and I was grateful for at least that. We also narrowed it down to something that was either clear or silver with one exception. I had found a pair of adorable black suede ballet slipper style shoes. They really would have been perfect. Online they didn't look so much black as a deep green that would complement the dress nicely. With no heel they posed little threat, and they looked quite comfortable.

Alice agreed to let me try them on at least, citing that they could be deemed acceptable because they were made in Italy by someone named **Thierry Rabotin and their price tag seemed to allude to the fact that they were of good quality. ** In return though, I had to agree to a day of makeover torture with her. She claimed it was a "spa day," but I was pretty sure it was going to be less than relaxing and more than barbaric, especially when the idea of waxing was mentioned. It was a really good thing that I liked that little fairy or I would have torn her wings off right then and there.

When we finished narrowing down shoe options, Alice suggested we look at jewelry, since we hadn't settle on a shoe choice we couldn't get a purse choice, something about how the bag should match. To be honest, I didn't think we needed all of the thought; I mean the dress was long enough that no one was really going to see my feet, and the bag was unnecessary, it was just one more thing to carry that would keep me from having both hands free to catch myself should the need arise.

Thankfully, Esme peeked in on us at that very moment and informed us of the time. We had been lost in thoughts of fashion for hours. I would never have believed it were possible if I hadn't been through it. She shooed Alice up to bed, reminding her that there was school tomorrow and then came to sit beside me.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Actually, looking at all of this stuff online hasn't been too bad. At least I didn't have to try all of those things on." She laughed.

"Yes, well don't get too relaxed, I know my daughter and the next couple of weeks will be a whirlwind with her. She's going to want to take you shopping for everything and anything possible," I cringed, "but she means well. You are the sister she always wanted and I think there's some making up for lost time."

I hadn't thought of things like that, Alice looking at me like a sister. It reminded me of how great she had been recently. She was so accepting of the way things were and really did just want the best for everyone. So even though I would be tortured, it seemed like the right thing to do. I mean, it was clear that she really cared for Edward, and since I was starting to as well, it made sense to let Alice doll me up. I wanted to be worthy of hanging on Edward's arm, because some day that could be my permanent place, and I needed to be prepared.

"Well, I'm going to go to bed. What are your plans?" she asked me.

"I think I'm going to stay up a little longer. I might even do a little more shopping."

"Okay, well will you please turn everything off when you come to bed?"

"No problem," I replied. She gave me a tender hug and headed out of the room.

"Oh, and Bella…You looked fantastic in that dress, truly a vision," she called back, and then she ghosted away.

In my solitude, I sat alone at the computer. I didn't really feel much like shopping, but the idea of pretending to be sold on something truly tacky that I'd share with Alice was kind of fun to entertain. Deciding that it would be mean to torture her so, I turned off the computer and left the office. Not really feeling tired yet, I entered the kitchen and decided to make myself a little snack. Taking a plate from the cupboard and a jar of peanut butter I went over to the kitchen table and grabbed an apple from its place in the fruit basket; then I headed to the counter. One of my favorite snacks when I had been young was apple slices with peanut butter, and I was craving pieces of my youth lately.

I was just getting set to slice up the apple when I heard footsteps approach. Looking up, my eyes locked on Edward in all of his nighttime glory. Apparently, he didn't sleep in much. With his lean chest bared and his pajama bottoms hugging his hips just right I was thrilled that I hadn't started cutting yet, or my hand would definitely have been sliced.

"Excuse me," he sang, "I didn't realize anyone was still up."

"It's fine, really."

"I, uh, couldn't sleep."

"Me neither." Wow, this was some intelligent conversation. I gave myself a mental smack upside the head, urging my brain to think of something fast, "I was just about to have a snack, do you want to join me?" Yes, that was a good response, still not all that intelligent, but polite and food related, which was always good.

"Um, sure, yeah, why not." Clearly, he wasn't into eloquence either. I got up from the counter and went back over to the table. Grabbing a second apple and another plate before heading back to slice everything up, I was careful to avoid staring at his chest for too long. It took every bit of my concentration to slice up the apples, but I managed and when I'd finished I offered him a plateful.

Momentarily, our hands brushed while the plate was transferred and a shock rocketed through me like every other time we'd made contact. I wondered if he'd felt it too, but didn't know how to approach the subject, and as quickly as the moment began, it was over. He thanked me and went over to the table.

"Would you like something to drink?" he asked as he headed back toward the fridge.

"Um, a glass of milk would be nice, thank you." He poured us both a glass of the creamy beverage, the color of which I often compared my pasty skin to, and brought them both to the table. After taking a seat at one end, I headed for the other, keeping what I thought was a safe distance between us. The electric charge we had seemed to hang in the air, and every moment I spent with him seemed like my body was waiting for someone to flip a switch.

We ate our snack mostly in silence, talking about mundane things like the weather, his day at school, my day with his mom, nothing too personal. Then he apologized again for having walked in on me.

"It really wasn't a big deal," I responded.

"Well, it didn't seem that way to Alice, besides it doesn't matter, I'm still sorry," he replied.

"I don't see what you have to be sorry for, but I forgive you anyways," saying so seemed like the right thing to do.

"I am sorry that I violated some privacy issues by walking in on you in that room, but I am definitely not sorry for what I saw or said." Uh oh, dangerous territory, his velvet voice ringing those words out brought the heat back to my face and my telltale blush would soon eclipse me. I turned away, hoping that he wouldn't notice.

"You tried to turn from me earlier too, when I told you how lovely you are. Why do you do that?" he inquired.

"I just…I'm embarrassed because I'm not beautiful, not truly. I'm just…plain."

"Bella, look at me," he laid a gentle finger on the side of my chin forcing me to look over and up at him, "you really are beautiful. The fact that you don't know just how much is one of the things that makes you special. It's one of the things that I love about you." Oh crap, did he just say love? Maybe it was just a slip, or maybe it just meant liked a lot, not like in _love _love.

I just blushed all the more. Then in a matter of seconds, Edward had shot out of his chair and knelt right in front of me on the floor. Taking both of my hands in his, he told me again that I was beautiful.

"The reason I can't sleep tonight is you. I have visions of you running through my mind and most of them are of a less than virtuous nature. Bella, I don't know how things are going to turn out for either of us, and I was serious when I said that we should look at seeing other people, but there is something that I have just been dying to do since I saw you earlier in that dress."

He took my hands and raised them to his lips, the soft, warm flesh tenderly pressed against me. Then he reached up and drew my face down to his. In the blink of an eye, we mutually closed the distance and before I knew it, we were kissing. Our mouths were connected in a gentle embrace, neither of us fighting to be in or out of the lock, just happy to be there.

There was a surge of electricity that ran through my body from the contact, and I suddenly yearned for more. My mind went foggy as I reached out and locked my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to me, wanting him to stay with me like this forever. And just like that, I was a horny teenager, struggling to seduce this man who was trying to be sweet, after all he'd just confessed to inappropriate thoughts about me.

Drawing strength from God knows where, I thrust my tongue forward, licking his lower lip seeking entrance. With a whimpering sigh his mouth parted and I plunged forward, hoping for more of a connection, begging for more from him. Soon our tongues were waltzing sweetly with one another, and not long after that we parted.

"I'm sorry," Edward said, pushing back from me while panting heavily. "We can't, I mean, we promised we wouldn't, well you know, and I might be stronger than I thought, but if we keep this up, I don't think I'm that strong."

He seemed flustered, and while I understood where he was coming from, all that I felt at that moment was rejection. "Edward, it's just kissing. You can't tell me that it always leads to sex."

"Bella, with you right now, I think it would. I can't ever lose control with you, you know that right?"

"I should hope that you felt that way about any girl," I responded, "I mean, we both promised to wait and I plan on it, I thought you were the kind of guy who would too."

"I didn't mean it like that Bella…" but it was too late. The moment had been ruined and suddenly my mind was filled with visions of all sorts of skanky model-type women all over Edward just like I wanted to be, only in my thoughts, he wasn't shoving any of them aside. No, in my mind he was trying to see how many he could be with at once. The idea sickened me.

"It's fine, Edward, really, whatever. You know what? I think I am tired enough for bed now. Thanks for…well, yeah whatever, just thanks." I took what was left of my snack and headed out of the room. I didn't want to waste the food, and I couldn't stay in the kitchen with Edward anymore. And even though my appetite was sufficiently ruined, staying one moment longer to clean up just wasn't going to happen.

In the safety of my room, I replayed the past few minutes. What had happened? Did I kiss him, did he kiss me? Did he really push me away because it would be too hard NOT to have sex with me? Or was that just more of a good excuse to not take things any further? But then again, he had just said that he couldn't seem to stay away from me. Okay, maybe not in so many words, but that seemed like the basic idea, right? He couldn't stand to be away from me, but he wanted to be looking for other women, just like I should be looking for other men.

The whole thing was just so stinking confusing. I sighed; then reached over for one of my mom's diaries, maybe she could explain what just happened, indirectly. As I cracked open the book, for the first time since learning everything, I really wished for her to be with me. I was completely mystified, and who was I going to talk to? I mean, I couldn't just go tell Esme about Edward and I kissing, and Alice would probably read too much into it, so who did that leave?

From out of nowhere the answer came to me, Jacob Black. He seemed like a nice enough kid, and I really needed a friend. He had known my dad well and asked to hang out soon. So, just like that, I was planning on how to come out to Jacob about the whole thing. I immediately wondered what he'd say, and hoped that after everything we would still be able to be friends.

I was deep in my thoughts when there was a timid knock at my door.

**End note: Okay, shoot me, I know some of you want to, better yet, yell at me in a review, but please be gentle. I know many of you aren't Jacob fans, don't worry, they won't end up together or anything, but he is important just the same. As for the rest of it? We all just have to wait and see. Please review! Thank you kindly for all the love!**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Authors Note: Okay, first off I'm sorry because this is late. Real life got in the way and I didn't get to post last weekend. Secondly, these characters are not mine, just some of their personality. Finally, I love all my readers. Thanks for your reviews, favoriting me, and/or pimping my story out. It's really cool of all of you. Now, on with the show…**_

**EPOV**

"Yes, I do realize how late it is Jasper, and before you say anything else, I don't give a fuck. As the guy who's with my sister and still lives, you are required to help me at all costs."

"I thought I'd already agreed to do that, when I said I'd go prowling for chicks with you?"

"What? Oh yeah, that, shit, no this is something completely different and way more important."

"Does it involve Bella?"

"Yes, but that's not the point."

"Actually, I think that it is the point."

"Whatever."

"Look, could you just spit it out so I can get back to bed. You are keeping me from visions of your sister naked."

"What the fuck! I thought I talked to you about that."

"You did. And all agreements of that nature go right out the window when you call me in the middle of the night. Now spill."

"Okay, fine. I kissed Bella."

"That's great!"

"No, it's not."

"Why not? Didn't you like it? Didn't she like it? Was one of you a sloppy kisser? I mean, Eddie, I know you haven't had all that much practice, but I thought you knew enough not to lick her face like a dog."

"Ha ha very funny. The problem is that we both really liked it. In fact, I liked it too much! Then I freaked, and backtracked a little, and I may have said some things that made Bella get even more of a complex about her inadequacy than she already has."

"She's inadequate?"

"No, but she thinks she is. So you see my problem? I got a little flustered after our kiss, and said something about how I wouldn't take things any further…"

"Wait a minute, couldn't or wouldn't?"

"What difference does that make?"

"It makes a shit load of difference when it comes to women. Couldn't implies that you can't, you are unable to, while wouldn't, well that clearly points to you making a choice. So which was it?"

"I don't know. How am I supposed to remember what I said? I was flustered and clearly not thinking straight. Now I've gone and pissed her off. What should I do to straighten it out?"

"Well, you shouldn't talk to her, that's for sure."

"Why not?"

"Duh, you're the one that pissed her off in the first place. It's best to appear with a bribe before speaking to her again. You want to get back into her good graces any way you can before approaching the subject again."

"So what do I do?"

"Isn't it obvious? You get someone else to do your dirty work for you. You need another female. Girls will always talk with other girls about how pissed off their men have made them. No matter if a girl was in the wrong or not, they will always support the female side and gang up on you."

"Great, so you're telling me I'm totally screwed."

"I didn't say that. Luckily for you, I happen to be in the good graces of a female that is fairly close to your Bella."

"She's not MY Bella."

"Whatever. For now, she is. So, I could be persuaded to help you out by talking with Alice, if you promise to be the one to fill her in."

"You're sure there are no other options?"

"Well, you could talk to your mom…"

"No, I'll talk to Alice."

"Good. I'll set you up well with her, don't worry. I'll call her right now and tell her to meet you in your room for a great scoop."

"Thanks. You realize how screwed up this is right? I'm asking you to call Alice to have her meet me in my room, when I could just go to her myself."

"Precisely, but if you go to her now, and tell her what you've done, the wrath will be a force to be reckoned with, whereas if you let me talk with her first, she will be more likely to be understanding."

"What makes you so sure there would be a difference?"

"I've only got bribes on my side. You plan on bribing her to behave?"

"No, thanks bro, you can take it."

"That's right, I will. And you're going to owe me one."

"I know. I know. You have no idea how thankful I am that you're helping me out."

"Oh, I think I have an idea. Just remember what I'm doing for you when it comes time to pick a best man."

"We're not getting married."

"Yet. You're not getting married, yet. But you will, someday. If not to Bella, then to someone else. Just remember that when you are setting your wedding party. I am sure Alice will end up Maid of Honor and I will have no other man walking my lady down an aisle, or dancing with her, or doing anything else with her, if you know what I mean."

"I think I do and kind of wish I didn't."

"Alright. Well, I'm going to call her now. It will take a little bit of chatting to get her in a good mood and bribe her. So expect her in your room in about 15-20 minutes."

"Got it. Thanks again, man."

"No problem."

After my phone went dead, I paced around my bedroom like an expectant father. What if Jasper couldn't get Alice in a good mood? What if Alice could fix things with Bella? If things stayed they were now, and Bella remained pissed and I compounded this mess with Alice being mad at me, this house was going to feel awfully small for a while. I took a deep breath and prayed that everything would work out and then I resumed my walk.

**APOV**

I was deep into a dream about a half naked sweetie, fresh from the shower, when my phone started to ring. It was my Jasper ring, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Hello sexy. What's got you waking me up in the middle of night?" I asked, trying to sound all sultry.

"You do, of course, gorgeous. I was just lying here wondering what you're wearing."

"Oh you should know that by now, love, absolutely nothing," I teased.

"Oh God, that's sexy." I gave my little Tinker Bell laugh he loves in response.

"What about you?"

"Well, since all I want is to be with you when you're looking so good, I've got my birthday suit on too."

"Hot damn! That's a better picture than the one I just had before you called."

"Oh yeah. I'd like to hear about that."

"Well…" I drew it out, wanting to make him sweat a little, "I just had this picture of you, just out of the shower in jeans, no shirt, and your adorable cowboy hat."

"I had the hat huh? Should I put it on right now for you?"

"Only if you're willing to ride me," I said. He always loved it when I drew up dirty pictures in our minds.

"Oh baby, I could ride you all night."

"I'd better get comfortable then," I spoke with the smile in my voice showing.

"No need, I'll just lick you up and down until you've forgotten any discomfort you could have ever had." His sexy voice was making me so wet, I let out a weak moan.

"Oh girl, you know I love it when you moan; it really makes me hard," he knew I loved it when he talked dirty to me.

Phone sex wasn't exactly an abnormal activity for us, but he'd never called me in the middle of the night for some, and despite my desire to really keep going, I couldn't dismiss my intuition and had to ask, "Jasper, not that I'm not enjoying this, but why did you really call?"

"What, I can't just call up my woman because I miss her touch and want to hear her voice?"

"No, you can, but you never have in the middle of the night before, and you know how I am, there's just this nagging feeling that something's up. So, what is it?"

"Damn woman. Sometimes you're too smart for your own good, you know that?" I chuckled at his comment. "Fine, I really called because Edward needs you. He's waiting to talk to you in his room. Something big went down tonight and he needs support, but I really did miss you. Before your dickhead brother called and woke me up, I was seeking out your naked body in my mind."

"Ooo, do tell. No, wait, don't or I'll never get out of here to Edward. So he really needs me huh?"

"Yup. I'd use that to my advantage if I were you."

"Oh I will, trust me."

"Good. Oh, I may have said that I would foot the bill for your services, though."

"You did? Huh, well then I guess I'll make it easy on him, or rather, you. You are now mine to command for whatever I wish at a time yet to be determined."

"Of course I am. There wouldn't happen to be anything kinky in that future servitude would there?"

"Maybe. It depends on whether you play your cards right or not," again I let my smile show.

"As you wish, milady," he said in his best servant voice. I could just picture him dipping his hat and bowing as he spoke.

"Alright, well, I'd better go help him. I'll talk to you later. Goodnight sweetie."

"Goodnight. I love you."

"I love you too. Always. Sweet Dreams."

"They will be now darlin'." He knows what that talk does to me. Damn him. Now I have to go see my brother slightly horny and full of love all at the same time. He would pay for that comment later.

I hopped off my bed and headed towards Edward's room. It had been a long time since I had visited him in the middle of the night, and while I was still a little irritated about the violation of my privacy earlier, I was more than anxious to find out what he had to tell me.

Plus, I do like being the superior one, and knowing that he needed me certainly made him my subordinate.

**EPOV**

I was pacing back and forth practically wearing a path into the carpet, glancing at the clock every couple of minutes. After 15 minutes passed I began to get more nervous. Alice would be here any minute now and it was time to either sink or swim.

What was I going to say to her? Should I just spit out the fact that I kissed Bella? No, I should start with an apology and a compliment. Yeah, that was the way to win her over. I glanced at the clock again, 20 minutes had passed, okay she'd be should be knocking any second.

I wondered if I should be sitting down when she came, yeah that was probably a good idea. I looked like a complete wreck the way I was walking right now, and what and idiot I'd seemed to be if I was standing in the middle of the freaking floor when she arrived. I forced myself to go over to my bed and sit down. Okay, I started to drum out a beat on my knees. God my palms were sweaty. What the fuck?

_This is just your sister, man. You can do this. Sure she's mad at you from earlier, and she'll probably be pissed at you for upsetting Bella, but you can do this._ I gave myself a little pep talk. Then finally, after what seemed like ages, there was a knock at my door.

"Alice?"

"Yes, it's me. Notice how I have the courtesy to knock before entering? Even now, although I know you've been waiting for me." She had to put the dig in about earlier, of course.

"Come in, and I'm really sorry again about earlier. On the plus side, I can now tell you what impeccable taste you have. Bella looked amazing in that dress." Good, the apology and the compliment were out of the way.

"Naturally, I picked it out, and I never make poor fashion choices." She was always so full of herself. It wasn't lost on me that she didn't mention accepting my apology, again.

"So, Jasper told me you have some news for me." She practically danced through the door and plopped herself down on the bed next to me.

"Yes, and it's probably good you're sitting down."

"Wow, it's that bad huh?"

"It might be."

"So, what happened? Who does it concern?"

"It's about Bella. We kissed."

"Eeeek," she squealed and hurled her arms around me. Dogs all over the world were probably howling courtesy of her shrill scream. "This is so exciting. You have to tell me everything. Where did it happen? When did it happen? HOW did it happen? Was it good? Did you use tongues?"

"Wait a minute," I interrupted her, "just calm down. There's more." I couldn't help but chuckle at her excitement, even though it was out of place.

"Okay, I'm sorry. You're right. Jasper said you needed help. So obviously, there has to be more." She took a deep breath and turned to me, "Okay, I'm ready."

"Right, well to answer SOME of your questions, it happened a little while ago, downstairs in the kitchen. It was, in a word, incredible." I held up my hand to stop her from further commenting. "I couldn't sleep and went downstairs to get a snack. Bella was in the kitchen doing the same thing. Anyways, I'm not quite sure exactly how it happened, but we ended up kissing, and afterward I got flustered."

"In my discomfort, I said some things that became a jumbled mess, and I don't know how I got it all screwed up, but I did, and Bella sort of stormed out of the room."

"What exactly did you say?"

"I don't remember! Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Okay, fine. Just calm down, Edward. You don't have to yell at me. Remember? I'm here to help. You. Requested. Me." She was poking me in the chest now, to drive home her point and irritation. I needed to fix this fast, or I was going to be on my own with Bella.

"You're right. I'm sorry, Alice." I rubbed my chest where she had prodded. She sure was strong for such a little thing.

"That's better. So, let me see I have the general gist of things. Basically you and Bella shared a wonderful kiss, you acted like an idiot and screwed things up, and now you're afraid to approach her about it, but want me to fix everything. Is that about right?"

"Hey, I wasn't an idiot, and I'm not asking you to fix everything exactly, just smooth things over so that it won't be awkward around here. Plus, Bella has no confidence in herself whatsoever, and there's no way she's going to listen to me, so if you could help her in that department too, that'd be great."

"You screwed up something wonderful, so yes, you are an idiot, but we're getting off topic. Alright, I'll help you out, but it's going to cost you."

"How so?"

"I'm not sure yet, but when decide, you'll be the first to know. It won't be too bad, since Jasper is also compensating me. Plus, I like Bella and want to help out for her sake, if nothing else."

"Thanks, Alice. I knew you'd know how to make things all better."

"Well, don't relax too much. You're not out of the doghouse yet, Brother. I'm only smoothing things over so that Bella will listen to you again. You have a lot of sucking up and begging to do on your part once I'm done. You'd better start by getting her a gift."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Jewelry is nice, but maybe it's a little over the top given the current situation. Besides, Bella seems to have an issue with expensive things."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's just a vibe I got from her while we were shopping. Now be quiet, I have to think…" She pulled a Winnie the Pooh thinking pose out and I almost laughed, but I held it in for fear of her wrath. "I've got it!" she said snapping her fingers. "We just finished shopping for her bedroom furniture and stuff. I'll help you find the perfect gift to accent her new décor. Oh, and you hereby volunteer to paint her room."

"What? When?"

"Don't argue little brother. I'll find a way to get her out of the house in the next couple of days. Talk to mom about redecorating. Then you can set it all up and surprise her. It'll be great, just like those makeover shows on TV! Oh, and you should get her some flowers too! You know to accent everything. Orchids would be nice. It's the perfect plan."

"I'm glad you think so. Wanna clue me in on it all?"

"I will later. I have to iron out all of the details first."

"Just make sure that one of those details includes how to tell Mom I'm helping without anything incriminating or misleading."

"Oh ye of little faith. Don't you know that I always think of everything by now? Alright, I'm off to go smooth things over with Bella before it's too late. I'll talk to her about going out sometime later this week, too. Maybe I'll get her to go see a chick flick with me or something. I know she's not too much into shopping so that's out…hmmm…" She left my room so deep in thought; I could actually see the hamster spinning the wheel in her head.

"Goodnight Alice!" I called after her. I wondered if I should fall asleep now, expecting her to be awhile with Bella, or if she expected me to wait up to see how things went. I ended up deciding to sleep. Afterall, if Alice wanted to talk to me, she'd wake me up anyways.

I also thought about whether or not she'd let me count the painting as part of her payment. I mean, that shit's a lot of work. Sometimes dealing with her feels a little like selling your soul to the devil for something you want. She's definitely helpful, but you usually feel sorry about setting things up when she comes to collect.

**BPOV**

The knock came again at the door, a little louder this time. I almost considered pretending to be asleep; it was probably just Edward trying yet again to apologize. He pretty much put his foot in his mouth so he was better off just staying quiet. I was surprised when Alice's little voice sounded on the other side of the door.

"Bella it's me. Can I come in? I really need to talk to you."

Maybe she wanted to talk about Jasper or something. I slowly stood up and walked to the door to let her in.

"Oh my God," she gasped after the door was open, "you've been crying!"

"What? I have?" Apparently I was more upset than I thought. Alice leaped forward and threw her arms around me in a big teddy bear hug.

"It's nothing, Alice, honestly. I was just looking over some of my mom's diaries and missing her."

She pulled back from me, not quite letting me go, and looked into my eyes unconvinced.

"Bella, Edward talked to me." Shit. Of course he did. I was silly to think that she needed in to talk with me about something related to her. She probably would have gone to Edward or called one of her closer friends for something like that.

"I don't want to talk about it." I told her, struggling out of her arms. I picked up the diary that I had earlier and placed it back on the shelf, making a show of things and hoping she would believe me now about crying over my mom.

"C'mon, he's really upset," she pleaded. Apparently I wasn't going to get out of this. By now I'd learned that Alice was very persistent, I supposed that was the nice way of putting it.

"It wasn't that big of a deal."

"That's not what I heard."

"Oh really? Tell me what you heard," I practically snapped her head off with me statement, the irritation I was feeling earlier rising up again.

"Don't be like that, Bella. Look, he told me that the two of you kissed, and before you say anything else, he also told me it was incredible," she smirked at me.

"He did?"

"Yes, he did. Look, he's a guy. They do and say stupid things all of the time. He was nervous and got flustered. I think he really does like you. Oh, and he did tell me you looked amazing in the dress." She was now smiling even wider at me.

"Well, you dressed me. Of course, I looked good."

"You look more than good, Bella, even when I don't dress you. Don't let that go to your head though; we still need to get you a new wardrobe."

I didn't know what to say to that so I just gave her a little shy smile. I didn't want to tell her she was wrong about my looks, it would only cause more trouble. Plain me was rarely more than acceptable. Plus, I dreaded the idea of a shopping trip like the one she had in mind.

"So…" she let her comment linger while dragging me by the arm and plopping us down on the bed next to one another, "about that whole guys screw up and take advantage of it thing, you have a lot to learn. I swear to you that Edward is penitent, so what are you going to make him do to get back in your good graces?"

"He doesn't really have to do anything. I trust you that he _is_ sorry." I wanted to add that I thought he was really sorry the whole thing happened because I wasn't what he wanted and not that he was sorry he acted like an ass, but I didn't.

"No, Bella. Don't give in too easily. I mean I know I'm good at making amends, but that doesn't mean we can't make him pay. C'mon, help me make him suffer. It will be fun!" I had to giggle at her giddiness over the whole thing. She really had the sibling tortures other sibling thing down. I had never had that.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I know that you would really love me to terrorize your brother, but I can't. I'm just not that kind of person."

"Well, will you at least not forgive him right away while I come up with a plan? There are a few things I'd like to try out."

"Fine," I sighed. "I want it on record, though, that I'm only doing this for you," I said, and I lightly tapped her chest to drive the point home.

"I know, Bella, and that's why I love you so much!" She was practically beaming. I had no idea making her happy would be that easy. I'd have to remember her desire to torment Edward when she brought up shopping next. Maybe I could distract her.

"So, do you love me enough to let me get some sleep now?" I asked her half jokingly. I had just glanced at the clock and realized how late it was.

She looked over at my clock, "Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how late it was. Of course you can go to sleep." She scrambled to get off my bed and headed towards the door after a quick hug. "Wait, before I go, would you mind going with me to see a movie sometime later this week? Maybe Friday night?"

"Um, I guess so. Who else would be going?"

"Just me. There's the movie that's out right now, but I wouldn't subject Jasper to it, it's a chick flick, and Rose, well, it's not her thing either. I know you said that you and your mom used to sit around watching chick flicks, so I figured that you would be a willing candidate."

"Yeah, I'll go, but I can't guarantee I won't make fun of the events. You remember I said that my mom and I did that too, right?"

She laughed, "Yes, I do, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Okay, good. Just let me know when you want to go. It's not like I have a life or anything, so I'm pretty much ready when you are."

"Excellent. I can't wait to hang out. Alright, well goodnight," she said as she turned the knob and opened my door.

"Goodnight to you, too," I replied. Then she closed the door behind her, and I was left alone again. Because it was so late, I quickly got myself ready for bed. It wasn't long before I succumbed to sleep.

During the night my dreams were speckled with amusing memories. My mom and I watching movies, my dad's fake tantrums, even one time I fished with my dad when I was younger. A younger Jacob was there. I saw myself making a disgusted face after my dad told me we'd be fishing with worms that I had to tear apart. Yuck! Then I saw Jacob laughing at my suggestion that maybe we should use gummy worms instead, citing that they weren't slimy and could serve as a wonderful snack if I got hungry.

Actually, we all had a good laugh about that. And just like that, any damper that the night's activities had left on my spirit was washed away. I felt warm and contented all over. Slowly thoughts began to seep back into my mind about other times I spent with Jacob. A lot of them were dotted with feelings of happiness. He was kind of like my own personal sunshine.

I still didn't see him in a romantic light or anything, but he would be a really great friend to have. He was the closest thing I had to a brother, even if we hadn't been close recently. I couldn't wait to talk to him later this week. I really needed to share the recent developments in my life.

By the time I headed downstairs to have breakfast everyone else was gone again. Just Esme remained. Our day proceeded much like the previous one. We continued to pack up more of my parents' things, and Esme continued to share her wisdom and support. When we dinner time rolled around, we headed home. Dinner was uneventful and quiet. Edward and I carefully avoided each other.

After dinner, Carlisle asked to talk to him. It was probably about the whole arrangement thing. I remember that we were each supposed to talk with Carlisle and Esme about our situation, and I was pretty sure that I had that department covered during the packing. Even though we didn't talk much about things, Esme knew my feelings. I hadn't mentioned anything to her about the kiss, and I had no intention of doing so. I wondered if Edward would say anything to Carlisle.

When everything was cleaned up from dinner, I ended up getting a call from Jacob. We didn't talk for long. He just invited me to the beach with him on Saturday. I told him that I thought it was crazy to be heading out to the beach in October, especially here, but he told me it was supposed to be a rare sunny weekend, and the temperatures were actually going to be decent. I made it clear that I would not be appearing in a bathing suit, and he seemed to be fine with that.

Apparently, we were just going to hang out around a fire, check out the tide pools, that sort of thing. I hadn't been to the tide pools in ages. There was something about staring at the bands of life stranded on the shore that always brought life into perspective. I mean if all of that could exist peacefully together, and their lives can be turned upside down on a daily basis without major explosion, then I should be able to handle anything.

Once my phone call was finished, Alice of course cornered me to get the scoop. I told her that I wouldn't be able to see a movie with her Saturday afternoon, since I would be meeting up with Jake. I invited her to come along, but she turned me down, saying she didn't want to impose on my date. Of course, I made it perfectly clear it wasn't a date, but she didn't seem to believe me and told me to make sure Jake knew it wasn't one.

He didn't seem like the kind of guy to make something out of nothing, but I put my senses on alert. If at any time he showed he thought otherwise, I was going to put him in his place, and I assured her of that. She seemed to be satisfied with that thought, and hauled me off to my room to discuss her plan to taunt her brother. Sadly, the thought excited me. This pixie brought corruption.

_**A/N: Okay, so there you have it. I know I'm evil and a lot of you thought it was Edward at the door wanting to apologize again, but this is more fun. I'm ending it here for 2 reasons. First, I want to get this posted before it's any later, and second I'd love to hear your ideas for Edward. What should I make him do? I have a couple of thoughts, but if anyone's is better, I'll use that and credit you, of course. I won't get up another chapter until at least next weekend, maybe a little later. I have report cards coming due, plus Master's coursework, so my time is limited. As always, I love reviews!**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**I just want to say thanks for everyone's patience and thank those that checked up on me. My most recent Master's class was kicking my ass, and as of today is over, so hopefully I will be able to devote the attention needed to the fic. I know it's been hard, but if it helps, I've been going through withdrawal too. As always, I don't own Twilight. BTW Sweetmahogony, Troyis and buffy9704 all suggested the Jacob thing, and although I already had something along those lines in my head, it's nice to know great minds think alike…**_

**Alice POV**

After a lot of thought about how to torture my dear sweet brother, I decided that even a cunning mind like mine needs a little input. So I enlisted the help of my darling boyfriend Jasper.

"Why are you so set on causing him grief? I mean I get it, he fucked up, but I don't know, I guess I just don't see why you want to hurt him," the love of my life glanced in my direction with a minor look of fear across his face.

"Jazz, he hurt Bella, and he needs to pay for it. Besides, he's always so perfect and never messes up. I've never been able to get back at him for anything he's ever done to me, like the time that he used my Barbie dolls in his Science fair project about recycling, claiming that his intention had been to melt them down and use them to make a product much more useful. What's more useful than developing a fashion sense?"

"Oh come on, Alice! You have totally gotten him back for that by turning him into your own personal Ken doll." I glared at him over his remark and he recoiled a bit, frowning slightly in apology.

"What about the time that he ruined my favorite outfit on purpose?"

"Hey, you were the one that dragged him on that roller coaster to begin with."

"Yeah, but he was the pansy with the weak stomach. He shouldn't have gone on it knowing that he was such a wimp."

"Well you can't argue with that logic." His response was somewhat sarcastic.

"Keep it up; I have a laundry list of wrongdoings."

"No, I give. It's your life, and besides, you said that Bella is behind this too, and I definitely know better than to fight with you over…well pretty much anything really. There's no winning with you."

"Thank you! I'm glad you see things my way," I said with a big smirk on my face. "Now, help me figure out what to do. I have a few ideas, and I really need to come up with something good. Oh and it can't be too mean otherwise I know Bella won't agree to it."

"I'm glad to see that she has standards." I stuck out my tongue at him in response.

"So, that's where you come in. You see, I've come up with a few ideas, but I think they may all be taking things a little too far."

"Oh yeah? Let's hear them."

"O.K. So, the first idea I had was Bella and I get to dress him up in a formal gown and spy on him, like he spied on her. You know, high heels and all!" This suggestion elicited a lot of laughter from my better half.

"That sounds like fun, but I don't think Bella would go for it, from what you just said. But if she does, can I be there?"

"Be serious, Jazz, of course I'd invite you."

"And that's why I love you." He smiled and gave me a tender kiss.

"Right, well the next thing on my list, involves his car. I thought maybe I could have Rosalie tinker with it."

"That sounds like a good plan. It's always good revenge to mess with a man's car. The only problem with that idea is you'd have to tell Rose why you want to do it."

"You're right. I hadn't really thought about that. I was just counting on Rose's love of messing with Edward and getting her hands dirty to get her involved, but I forgot about her interest in gossip."

"Alright, there was also putting ink in his shampoo bottle, which is a little simplistic and April Fool's Day, but still fun."

"There's too much of a chance for angering your parents with that one so I'd take it out of the mix."

"Good point…" We had exhausted most of my evil possibilities. There was just one left, but I wasn't sure how well it would be received. Then my knight in shining armor came to my rescue.

"What if we have him give Bella piano lessons? Remember how much he couldn't stand it when you took them? Every wrong note was like nails on a chalkboard!"

"Jasper, that's perfect! It's far better than what I had planned, although in truth I think I may combine the two!"

"What were you thinking?"

"Oh, just that jealousy is always nice. Bella has a date of sorts this weekend with this guy she used to hang out with as a kid. She swears it's just a friend thing, but there isn't anything to say that it can't look a different way, or even that the guy thinks it's just about friendship."

"That's true, but wouldn't you feel a little guilty using another guy like that? I mean consider his feelings."

"What do I care? I don't know him. Besides, what are the chances that I would have much interaction with him, even if Bella becomes close friends with him?"

"Still, I just don't know about it."

"Well, I have a good feeling about it. Besides I already kind of set the plan in motion."

"What do you mean by that?

"Well, I was pretty confident that I'd need the little green monster at some point during my revenge, so I called Jacob and asked him to stop by and pick Bella up on Saturday instead of her meeting him somewhere."

"I see. Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt for Edward to see that she's actually very desirable. I think between your little green monster, and the forced contact of piano lessons we may just find success."

"I couldn't agree with you more," I replied, giving him a little Eskimo kiss. "I love you, my partner in crime."

"And I love you, my partner in life." I loved it when he sweet talked me like that, it always turned me to goo. I was just getting ready to show him exactly how much I loved it, when my cell phone rang. It was the alarm I'd set earlier reminding me to get my ass home. Suddenly, my mom was all about spending family time together.

I totally saw where she was coming from in the wake of what happened to Bella's parents, but it was really starting to eat into my Jasper time. I wasn't sure just how much more I could take. At least I could share with Bella all the genius of my scheme later, which gave me something to look forward to. I quickly kissed Jasper goodbye and promised to call him later to tell him how our suggestions worked with Bella.

With my brilliant mind, I knew that if I was going to get her to agree, I would have to hit her with some of the more devilish ideas first. Knowing she would shoot them down and eventually start feeling bad about disappointing me, I was pretty sure she would give in to the plan Jazz and I had just cooked up. It would be the perfect way to force contact between Bella and Edward, while still torturing my brother. There was little that he hated more than hearing the wrong notes played on the piano.

**BPOV**

In the sanctity of my room, Alice was talking a mile a minute about one crazy scheme after another. So far I had shot down: dressing Edward like a girl (an image that made me smirk, but caused more guilt than pleasure), messing with his car (an offense I was pretty sure was not the way I needed to start a relationship, of any kind, with Edward), a few practical jokes-including additives to his various hygiene products, resetting his alarm clock for an ungodly hour, and cling wrap over the toilet bowl (just gross).

"What about wrapping him up with cling wrap on his bed? He's a pretty sound sleeper, and it would be pretty funny to trap him in his bed. Oh, maybe we could do that, and that whole sleepover trick where you take the sleeping person's hand and put it in warm water until they wet the bed. That would be hilarious!" She let out an evil laugh.

"Yeah, um…Alice, I don't think so. I'd like to avoid anything that will embarrass him or lead to some bodily function mess. That means no more pranks involving his body systems. I wouldn't want anyone to do something like that to me, so I am going to have to ban those from the list."

"You're just no fun, Bella. There has to be something you'll let me do."

"I already told you, Alice, I am not really into messing with Edward. I mean, he already feels bad enough, I just don't see a reason in making things worse."

"Bella, you've never had a sibling so you don't know what it's like to get the chance for revenge after years of nothing. This is the chance of a lifetime! We're not getting any younger, and there is no telling how many more opportunities I may get like this. Please don't take that away from me…" she looked at me pleadingly.

I couldn't deny her anything with that face. "I don't want you to miss out on anything, but isn't there something that could satisfy us both?"

She was quiet for some time, appearing deep in thought. "There is one thing I came up with, but I'm not sure you'd be interested."

"Try me. As long as it doesn't involve my exclusions, it should be alright."

"It doesn't. It's just that…have you ever wanted to learn to play the piano?"

"What?" I was a little shocked and confused by her question.

"Well, it's just that I noticed how much you like to listen to Edward play, and I was thinking that maybe he could teach you, so you could enjoy it whenever you like."

"How does this torture him, besides having to play instructor to a complete novice like me?"

"That's just it. He can't stand to hear anyone play notes wrong. It's just something ingrained in him. It makes him wish he was deaf. You should have seen him cringe the one time I asked him to teach me. Needless to say, the lessons didn't last long. We both just didn't have enough patience."

"Well, what makes you think things would be different with me?"

"They probably won't, but because of the position he's currently in, he'd be more likely to just deal with it. Come on, it will be fun!" I looked at her hesitantly. "Please?" she begged.

God I'm such a sucker! "Fine." She squealed and threw her arms around me. I laughed. "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. I'll take care of everything. You just show up for your lessons and I'll take care of the rest. Oh, and one more thing, I have arranged for Jake to pick you up here this weekend when you guys have your date."

"It's NOT a date," I eyed her sternly.

"Right, well I don't know what else to call it, so when you guys have your non-date date thing, he's going to pick you up. I figured that it would be convenient for both of you. Plus, Edward needs to see that other guys may find you attractive, just so he can see what he's missing by not being with you."

I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off, "I know, you aren't really supposed to be officially together as an item yet, but it doesn't matter. Things need to be cleared up, mainly how you both feel about each other, and I think this will help. Strike that, I KNOW it will help."

Realizing, like always, that she was hard to argue with, I just gave in, "Whatever."

She let out an exasperated sigh and stood to leave. "Bella, you don't have to worry about anything. Trust me. I will take care of everything."

"I'm not worried, Alice, well not really anyway. I just don't want anyone to get hurt. There's enough pain in this world without making more of it."

"Don't be so melodramatic, Bella. No one will get hurt. My plans always work out, you'll see. Now, I'm off to set things up with Edward, and then the rest will just take care of itself after that."

She gave me a hug and walked out the door.

In the quiet that remained after she left, I laid back and allowed myself to dream of the moments to come.

I pictured myself sitting down on the piano bench next to Edward, his hands gently placed above mine as he guided my fingers to the right keys on the piano. I had to admit that my imagination was fairly good, so good in fact that I could feel the current that always courses through my veins whenever we make contact.

I dreamed that he'd lean in and whisper the names of the notes he wanted me to play, the heat of his breath tickling my neck and sending shivers down my spine. Regardless of whether I had ever thought about learning the piano, with these visions I sure and shit wanted to learn, now. These thoughts would drive me crazy if I kept them going so I forced myself to open my eyes and get ready for bed.

While running through my nighttime routine, my mind began to drift to the weekend. What would Edward do when he saw Jacob? Would he grow jealous like Alice predicted, or would he care less about him? If he didn't really care would it be because he wasn't interested or because he didn't see Jacob as a threat?

I let myself believe for a minute that Alice was right and Edward truly would become blinded by jealousy. I imagined Edward, in a jealous rage, leaping down the stairs and throwing Jacob out of the house, refusing to allow him contact with me. It was a ridiculous idea, really. I would never wish something like that on Jacob to begin with, and if it really did happen, I don't think I could be happy about it. However, it was nice to dream about Edward, let alone any other guy, feeling such a passionate rage for my benefit.

I was just getting ready to call it a night when there was a soft knock at the door.

**EPOV**

Alice had come to my rescue, I had to give her that. She apparently had figured out a way for me to not feel too bad about what happened with Bella while giving me a reason to be close to her. Admittedly, I wasn't thrilled about the idea of teaching Bella how to play the piano, I mean I don't like the idea of teaching anyone how to play the piano, every wrong note I hit made me squirm.

All I could think about was the only time I have ever taught another person to play before, Alice, and well, I discovered then that I had no desire to ever teach and a strong urge to find a way to become deaf. But, with the idea of teaching Bella how to play, all I could think about was having another excuse to touch her. I was so helpless in this situation.

Then, my minx of a sister dropped the other bomb on me. Apparently, Bella had a date with another guy this weekend. The idea caused my breathing to hitch and the room to start to spin. I knew I had developed strong feelings towards her, but I hadn't considered it had gotten so extreme as to lead me to nearly pass out at the idea of her being with another man. Before I knew it, my strength returned and I was walking out of my room, practically sprinting down the hallway and stairs to Bella's room and was knocking on her door.

As soon as I'd rapped on the door, I second guessed myself. What if she was already asleep? What if she wasn't ready to talk to me? Was I really ready to talk to her? What would I say? I definitely couldn't tell her about my recent realization about my feelings for her. Imagine how that conversation would go. So, um, yeah, you know that awesome kiss we shared, that I kind of appeared to regret, can we just rewind time? Maybe we could try it again?

Okay, maybe repeating the kiss wouldn't be a bad idea. I began to fantasize about her soft, pert, lips pressed up against mine, my tongue slipping past the barrier and mingling with hers. My desire for her began to swell up inside, and all rational thought began to be clouded by thoughts of being with her.

I was startled out of my thoughts when the door in front of me swung open.

"Edward, um, hi," Bella's angelic voice rang out.

"Hi. Um, I just talked to Alice, and I was wondering if you wanted to start your piano lessons right away?" That was dumb, but I really didn't have anything else.

"Um, it's kind of late." She pulled her lower lip into her mouth and bit down, and I could tell she was nervous, but I couldn't tell why. "Won't someone be upset that we're keeping them awake with my racket?" Now it made sense. She was worried about upsetting everyone else, but she hadn't exactly turned me down. I really hadn't realized how late it was.

"Oh, right, I hadn't thought about how late it was. When would you like to start then?"

"I don't want to impose, just whenever you're free and we won't disturb everyone else too much."

"How about tomorrow night? Alice will be over at Jasper's _(or she will be if I have anything to say about it-I thought)_, my mom has a meeting with some charity group and I think my dad's working late." The simple idea of being alone with her was almost too much to take. She was quiet for a moment and I thought she might say no.

"We're really being left alone tomorrow night?"

"Sure, why not? Don't you think we can be trusted to behave?"

"Of course, you're right. I'm sorry, it's just that I never would have thought in a million years, I'd be left alone with a member of the opposite sex anywhere close to my age, let alone someone who I'm well, you know." Yeah, I knew, more than she was probably talking about.

"So, tomorrow night then?"

"Sure. I'll make us dinner, how does that sound?"

"It sounds great, but I don't want you to go to any trouble or anything."

"No trouble, I mean we both have to eat anyway, and I like cooking. It's a nice distraction."

"Alright. That sounds nice, but I insist on helping if I can. Maybe we could trade lessons? You could teach me to cook, and I'll teach you to play the piano?"

"I'd like that, although something tells me that you're getting the short end of the stick." I ruffled my hair a bit, and I knew that shit could give me a way, but I didn't care.

"You haven't seen me cook yet, for all you know, I can't even boil water." Her eyes bugged out at that statement and we both laughed. It's amazing the ease we had with each other at times. In some cases, it felt like we'd known each other our whole lives. Of course, then at other times, I felt like I couldn't make heads or tails of the situation.

"Well, goodnight." This was one of those times that I couldn't get things together. Do I kiss her goodnight? Hug her? Just turn around and walk away?

"Yeah, goodnight." We stood together awkwardly for a moment before I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. Although, in truthfulness, I was aiming for her lips but she turned at the last minute, not that I could blame her.

**BPOV**

After Edward left my room, I pondered our most recent interaction. Was I really going to try and teach him to cook? Was he really going along with the ludicrous idea of teaching me to play the piano? I couldn't believe how well things were working out. To top it all off, before he left, he kissed me!

Admittedly, his kiss was on my cheek, but that was my fault. I noticed he was coming in and freaked at the last second. I didn't know what a kiss would mean at this point, and to be honest, I really wasn't sure I was ready to go there. As it was, it was a pretty big deal for him to just have pecked my cheek after we'd agreed to our "date."

Just thinking about spending tomorrow night alone with him gave me goose bumps. Not to mention, my nerves were completely rattled. I mean, first off, what were we going to cook? I was definitely going to have to stay away from anything requiring me to cut because the proximity of Edward would make me liable to slip up and cut myself instead. That would be just perfect, wouldn't it?

On the other hand, chopping could be a job for him to do. I closed my eyes and started to picture his nimble fingers. Oh how I'd just love to watch them at work with just about anything! That's when I decided, you can't go wrong with good old comfort foods. So, we would be making meatloaf and potatoes. I could assemble ingredients and guide him with the chopping and mixing.

I still needed to figure out a veggie and dessert, but that could wait until morning. For now, I was more than thrilled imagining Edward's slender fingers at work. This was the thought that ran through my head as sleep claimed me.

My night was filled with restless sleep in which I was haunted by visions of Edward and his artful fingers at work. Sometimes they were at work in the kitchen helping to create the meal I had planned for our night, other times they were ghosting over the piano keys. But the visions that thrilled me, the ones that appeared the most, were of his fingers at work on me.

Every dream started out innocently enough, his touch was always gentle. Sometimes it appeared accidental like a casual brush of the fingertips as he reached past me for something, other times it was quite purposeful like when was giving me a massage to supposedly ease the aching muscles I was starting to have from all of the packing I'd been doing.

No matter how it started, though, we always ended up at the same place. Eventually his fingers would caress my hair and face, then slowly drift down my arms and back up my torso. Soon, he'd be lavishing my breasts and stomach with his touch, and by the time that happened, his mouth would have joined in on the fun.

He'd be kissing me as if it somehow gave him the air he needed to breathe. He'd gently lick a circuit from the base of my throat, along my collar bone, up to my ear lobe, where he'd gently suck or sometimes nibble. Then, he'd come back down again and do it all over on the other side.

Things never went any further but that alone left me waking up in desperate need of a shower, not to mention a change of underwear. When I finally couldn't take it anymore, I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. I debated for a moment between a cold shower and a nice hot one. Deciding to try and relax, I turned the shower to practically scalding and stepped in. The heat was intense, but after a short while I could feel most of the tension in my muscles ease.

There was one muscle, however, that just wouldn't give in. Practically at my breaking point, I broke down and did the one thing that I thought I'd never do. I reached for the removable shower head and was never more thankful for that luxury in my life! I swear a woman invented the thing!

I started out on gentle, just letting the warmth splash over my lips. Then I reached down and pulled back my folds, adjusting the head to a low pulse setting. The stimulation of my clit brought immediate relief. Soon I was struggling with my need for more. I'd heard once that extreme temperature can create an amazing rush, and I figured since I was already trying something new, I'd take it up one more notch.

I reached over and turned the hot water down. Now, my shower was leaning towards the cold side. The rush I was getting from compensating for the intense chill that was in complete contrast with the heat flowing from me was enough to push me over the edge. My legs were shaking to the point that I could barely remain standing and the result was one of the most intense orgasms I had ever had!

It was rare that I would get there from strictly clitoral stimulation, but this was so much more than that. When my mind began to clear and my senses returned, I returned the shower head to its rightful spot, reached over and turned the knobs back so the water was warmer again and then collapsed on the floor. I remained there for I don't know how long, but soon the water began to run cold, and I was all pruned up.

I turned off the water and carefully stood up. Reaching for my towel to dry off, all I could think was that I would definitely have to do that again! It could have been the visions that started it all, or maybe it was the excitement of trying something new, but the fact remained that not only did I feel sated, but I was more exhausted than I had been in a long time.

Wrapped in my towel, I didn't even bother redressing. I just dragged myself back into bed. It was still late, or early, depending on how you looked at it, so it didn't seem odd to be climbing back into bed. As I drifted off to sleep again, only one errant thought snuck in _I hope no one heard that!_

When I woke up much later, I felt completely rested, better than I'd felt in a long time, actually. A glance at the clock near my bed proved I'd slept well. It was almost noon! I hadn't slept that late in a long time.

After my shower in the night, I didn't need one so I just quickly brushed my teeth, dressed, and ran a brush through my hair sweeping it up into a pony tail. Then I headed out the door and down the stairs to a waiting Esme in the living room.

"Good morning, Dear," she called to me.

"Uh, good morning to you, too. I'm sorry I slept so late," I replied.

"Nonsense, Dear. There's nothing to apologize for! I'm used to my children sleeping late! Edward's the worst. That boy would stay in bed all day if given the choice." The soft smile that played upon her lips proved she was sincere. And while it was nice hearing her refer to me as one of her children, it felt a little awkward.

"Thanks for understanding. I don't know what came over me," I lied, I couldn't very well tell her the truth could I? "I'm just going to make myself something to eat really quickly, and then if you don't mind, I'd like to pack some more things."

"Of course, Dear. As I've said before, I'm here for you for whatever you need, whenever you need it."

"I appreciate that. Can I get you anything while I'm at it?"

"No, that's okay. I ate just a short while ago, but thanks for the offer." I nodded and then turned towards the kitchen.

While I was in there, I took note of what was currently available to use for dinner tonight. There were onions and potatoes, so that was good. I almost changed my menu when I thought about the onions, I mean that would make my breath stink and stuff. He wouldn't want to cozy up to that! Then again, he'd be eating them too, plus I'd get the added benefit of having him chop them, so his eyes would be tearing up and not mine!

I felt kind of evil thinking of it that way, but getting a man to cry is hard, and that's a sure fire way to make it happen, even if the emotion isn't behind it. Not that I truly wanted Edward upset enough to cry, but turnabout is fair play, and he'd made me cry already, so I should be able to do the same. Maybe Alice was starting to rub off on me!

Realizing that we would need some fresh ground beef, I called out to Esme a request to stop by the grocery store on our way back. Of course, she obliged. That left it open to anything really for a veggie and dessert. I finally settled on a spring mix salad with a raspberry vinaigrette dressing and to help a little with the onion breath a mint chocolate chip pie. So, ingredients for both were also added to my grocery list.

When I'd finished my breakfast, or perhaps lunch was a better term for it, we headed out of the house. Back at my childhood home, things were really starting to change. Most of the outwardly visible possessions had been packed up, and the place appeared as a shell of what it once was. It was a bittersweet realization. On the one hand, we had accomplished a lot, but on the other hand, it was like saying goodbye for good.

Unable to change things, but completely in charge of moving on, I pressed forward encouraging Esme to contact someone to come by and pick up all of the furniture. In the kitchen, I decided that we should just give most of the stuff away. While I loved to cook, I wouldn't have a need for any of these things for a while, and even if I did, I'd want my own stuff. I did, however, choose to keep my parents' crystal, china and silverware.

They never used it, but I had heard the story time and time again about how it had been a wedding gift from my grandmother, who had gotten them as a wedding gift from her mother. So, it only seemed fitting that I should take them. I found the pattern deplorable, I mean it was little pink tea roses and all girly and stuff, everything I really wasn't. With the history it had, though, there was no way I could just give it away. I would take it, share the story some day with my children, if I had them, and then hopefully give it to one of them when the time came.

It struck at that moment, that I'd never really given much thought to a future of marriage and children before. I was surprised by how little discomfort I felt at the topic. In truth, I should have felt a lot of anxiety given how close I was to actually experiencing some of that, but I guess I was starting to get used to the idea.

Throughout the afternoon of packing and a quick trip to the grocery store, my nerves began to build. I kept trying to convince myself that there was no reason to be nervous. I mean, what was there to be nervous about. I was just going to teach someone how to cook, and in turn, they were going to show me one of their talents. There was really nothing to be worried about.

If that was the truth, then why did the visions of last night flood my thoughts and put me in a fog I just couldn't shake? Esme, as usual, was supportive. She asked if I was comfortable being left home alone with Edward all night, apparently not having yet heard that we had plans. I didn't plan on being the one to tell her, either. Afterall, if Edward had wanted her to know, he would have told her himself, and I didn't want to make our evening out to be more than it obviously was.

Of course, once again, if that was the case, than why did my heart feel like it would pound of my chest thanks to the anxiety I felt? Not long after getting back home, Esme departed for the evening. Edward hadn't returned home, yet, so I decided to kill some time by reading more of my mom's diary. I was skimming through the pages when I came across and entry that seemed very interesting.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today Charlie and I made dinner together. It was kind of nice. He came over to my house, brought me flowers which was a nice gesture, even if I am allergic, and we made an incredible mess. Neither one of us is great in the kitchen, but our parents decided it was something we needed to share so they set it up._

_We decided to make pizzas figuring they'd be easy. I mean how hard is it to mess that up right? Mom and I made the dough earlier in the day, I had no idea how much went into just preparing a great pizza dough! She said it was important to let it sit, but I don't remember why. So, when Charlie came by it was just right for rolling out. In the end, we both were dredged in flour. In fact, there was so much on both of us, my mom walked in and joked about the ghosts haunting her kitchen!_

_Charlie claimed to be an expert roller, so he wrapped his arms around mine and tried to show me how to roll the dough out. That turned out to be a disaster. Then, he tried to impress me by doing some fancy pizza dough flipping thing, and thankfully he did it over the counter, or it would have landed on the floor when it fell apart._

_Eventually we managed to get something that resembled a pizza crust onto a pan and into the oven. Mom said to bake it a little first, then add all of the toppings, so that's what we did. I'm not sure that she knew what she was talking about because when all was said and done, we had a crust that was charred, with barely melted cheese and cold toppings! We had to laugh about it all. It was a complete disaster, and after seeing her kitchen, she had to agree._

_Mom offered to make us something else to eat, but Charlie insisted that our pizza was fine. Something about handling responsibility and accepting the results of mistakes, it seemed to make her admire his character more, and in a way so did I. Of course, after we finished cleaning up and he headed home, I was in the kitchen making myself a sandwich while my mom just smirked at me. I really hope she doesn't mention this to Charlie the next time she sees him! I want to be worthy of him, he's the best guy so far, and even though I could tell one of us had better learn to cook or we'd likely starve, he had a lot of admirable qualities._

_Just thinking about his strong arms around me while we worked makes me feel safe and warm. I'm not saying he's definitely the one, but he clearly shows promise, and that's something. Only time will tell, and who knows, maybe we'll try to cook again. There has to be something we can make without ruining it, and Mom says practice makes perfect!_

I couldn't help but giggle at the idea of my parents in the kitchen. I only remembered a handful of times that either of them actually cooked and while it seems they at least progressed to edible items, I was thankful that as I aged, they left the cooking mostly up to me. I lost myself in memories for a short while of the time my mom tried to bake a cake, and it came out more like a cookie. Considering that it had started as a mix from a box, it seems strange that she could screw it up, but she did!

As always, though, it's the thought that counts. A knock on my door startled me out of my trip down memory lane.

"Bella? Are you in there?"

Edward's voice was so smooth and enticing.

"Um, yeah. I'll be right there!" I set the diary down and walked over to the door after a quick check in my bathroom mirror to insure I was at least somewhat presentable. "Hi!" I greeted him as I opened the door.

"Hi yourself," he said with a crooked grin. "I was a little worried when I got home and the house was so quiet. I wasn't sure if you had gotten home, yet, or if you'd changed your mind, or what." He eyed me bashfully, it was so cute. I'd never seen him act shy before, and it only served to dazzle me all the more.

"I'm sorry. I must have lost track of time. I was just reading my mother's diary. You know, killing time until you go home," I pulled my lower lip into my mouth, then quickly released it after I realized what I was doing. My nervous tell, was really getting to be annoying. I didn't want him to see just how much of an effect he had on me.

"So…" he said as he rocked from heel to toe, hands in his pockets."

"So…" I replied not really knowing what to say. I noticed a stray thread on my shirt and started fiddling with it.

He let out a big sigh, "Do you want to cook or have your piano lesson first?"

His stomach growled right after he spoke and we both chuckled, although he was definitely a little embarrassed and nervous too as I noticed him reach up and run his hands through his hair.

"We should definitely cook first. I hope you don't mind, but I planned out our menu with some comfort foods."

"I love comfort food. There's nothing better than a nice slab of meat loaf with some potatoes."

I smiled. "I'm glad you said that because that's exactly what I had planned."

"Really? I can't tell you the last time I had meatloaf. You're actually going to teach me to make it?"

"Well, that's the plan. Then I thought we could have some roasted potatoes on the side. I know meatloaf is often served with mashed potatoes, but I swear these are great!"

"I'm sure anything you cook is great, Bella." His voice was heavy with seduction. I practically whimpered at the complement, until I became conscious of the blush creeping to my face. There was definitely no way of hiding the impact he had on me. Anxious to distract him from dwelling on it, I suggested we head downstairs to the kitchen.

I headed to the fridge to pull out what we would need. Then, I grabbed a couple more ingredients from the pantry and set it all out on the table. I felt a little like Rachael Ray trying to carry everything over in one trip. Noticing my balancing act, Edward offered to help, but I insisted that I carry it all citing that handing any of the load over at this point was sure to cause a major crash.

Once everything was laid out, I began instructing Edward on what to do, giving him the hardest job of all, the onions. "Okay, we are going to need a bunch of onions in slices to use with the potatoes, plus some diced for the meatloaf. Nothing has to be fancy or perfect, it's a pretty rough set up," I explained.

As he chopped away, I began to get all of the other ingredients for the meatloaf together. I placed the beef in a bowl for mixing, then added an egg, some salt and pepper, oatmeal, and tomato juice. Then, I asked Edward to add the diced onion. When that was done, I had him mix everything together.

I explained that it was important for him to do this step so he could get a feel for how well mixed everything should be. Of course, I really just wanted to see my visions come to fruition. And watching him work that meat, was definitely everything I had pictured and more! Not wanting to be caught staring, I quickly grabbed the knife and cutting board he had been working with and washed them off, after placing the sliced onions into a roasting pan.

Then, I got a few large potatoes out to clean off. I set those onto the cutting board and placed them with the knife in front of Edward, telling him they just needed to be cut up into chunks that were about bite size. I checked to make sure everything was well mixed in the meatloaf and then took the slacker route by placing it into a bread pan to bake.

Meanwhile, Edward had washed his hands and begun working on chopping the potatoes. When that was done, I added them to the roasting pan, along with some garlic salt, paprika, and tons of butter. After a quick toss of everything, I covered it all with foil and added it to the oven. We both ended up at the sink, me to wash up my now soiled hands while he was busy cleaning off the cutting board and knife once more.

"That's was easy," he exclaimed. "The only hard part was dealing with chopping the onions. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life!"

We both had a good laugh about that. "I have one more thing for us to do right now, then before we sit down to eat, I have a salad to assemble, but that's about it."

"So, what's left then?"

"Dessert, of course."

"There's dessert?"

"Yup," I smiled, "mint chocolate chip pie!"

"As in mint chocolate chip ice cream?"

"Yes. I hope that's okay." I waited, as it looked like he was thinking his response over then let out a sigh of relief when it finally came.

"I'm sure it will be wonderful. I love mint chocolate chip ice cream. I mean, what's not to like? There's chocolate, mixed with mint. It's like a cold after dinner mint. And a mint, is something we'll definitely want after we eat all those onions. At least you will, if you have to be close to me while I instruct you on the piano," he joked.

I didn't know how to react. I didn't want him to know that I had been thinking the same thing; that just seemed out of line, so I chose to just steer the conversation in another direction. "Well, I hope you have some frustrations to get out, because we have to make a crust."

"What?"

"Yup! We're going to crush a bunch of Oreos until their nothing but crumbs and then smash them into a pie tin."

"Can this dessert get any better?" His eyes were lighting up like a kid in a candy store, and I was beyond thrilled by his reaction. "So, how do we do this?"

"It's pretty easy actually, we'll just take a bunch of Oreos, toss them into a Ziploc bag, and begin pounding on them with all of our might. Heavy pans work best, I've discovered."

"Sounds great, let's get started," he said while rubbing his hands together.

We split the package of cookies between the two of us, and just went to town. It was kind of freeing just wailing on the bags. I was a little self conscious at first, not wanting to lead Edward to see me as a violent person, but when he seemed more focused on his cookies than on me, I relaxed a bit and got the job done.

Sure, we could have done the same thing with a mallet, or a rolling pin, but where's the fun in that? When the cookies were reduced to mere particles, we poured both bags into the pan and began to pat it down tightly with our fingertips. A couple of times, I purposely headed into his territory, just dying to make contact with him, and both times I had to quickly pull back because of the shock to my system that ensued.

Once we have the pie crust sufficiently packed down, I spooned out the carton of ice cream that had been thawing since we started to cook. It was a little melted around the edges so it came out and spread around well, but I did end up making quite the mess. At one point, I had ice cream streaming down my forearm after falling from my wrist. I licked it up not really thinking and noticed Edward's sharp intake of a breath.

Embarrassed, I stopped, and grabbed for a nearby towel to wipe the rest of the mess off. I had Edward cover the pie with plastic wrap and return it to the freezer, while I finished cleaning up. By the time all of that was finished we still had at least a half hour before dinner would be ready so we decided to just head into the living room to chat. Edward offered to teach me some piano, but I insisted that I needed to focus too much for that and couldn't; knowing that if I got caught up in things, dinner would be ruined.

So we settled into an awkward silence in the living room, instead. I wasn't sure what to do or say, and I didn't want to chance ruining anything so I just sat there nervously gnawing my lower lip while I toyed with that stray thread again. It wasn't until I finally got the nerve to look up that I noticed he had been staring at me, and as soon as our eyes met, I freaked and looked down again.

He noticed my quick action and must have read something into it because he finally spoke. "Bella, I'm sorry."

I chanced a glance up at him again and could see the sorrow in his eyes, it practically ripped my heart apart. "Edward…"

"No, please, hear me out." I stopped short and looked at him again. He got up from his seat and came to kneel in front of me as he clasped my hands in my lap. Our closeness had my heart beating like the flap of a hummingbird's wings.

"I messed up, and not because I kissed you. Our kiss, it was wonderful, beyond wonderful, really. I freaked out. This is all just so new to me. I've never felt this strongly for anyone. Not to mention given the circumstances of our situation it just seems even more out of place. I feel almost wrong having the feelings I do for you. It's just," he let out another exasperated sigh and quickly ran a palm through his hair, then glanced down at our newly rejoined hands, "I don't know how to do this."

"I've never felt so out of control, or out of place in my life. I'm not that guy, Bella."

"What guy?" I couldn't help but butt in.

"I'm not the guy that falls head over heels for someone. I don't believe in love at first sight, and yet ever since meeting you I haven't been able to shake this feeling of connection that seems to exist between you and me. This feeling that I have, it's been present since before my parents' little announcement, and try as I might, I can't seem to ignore it."

"I don't WANT to ignore it. This," he made a gesture between the two of us, "it scares the hell out of me. I don't regret our kiss, or anything that led up to it, but I truly regret my reaction. The kiss stirred up those thoughts and feelings so much more than it's possible to explain, and it took all of my self control to not take things any further. I don't want to be the kind of guy that forces my hormones on you. You deserve better than that, and I just wanted you to know that." He was quiet for a minute, and I just sat there joined to him and gazing into his eyes. The tension in the air was palpable and I truly didn't know what to say.

Essentially, Edward had just admitted to having strong feelings for me. Feelings that seemed to mirror the ones I was having. Suddenly, I was faced with a dilemma. Do I tell him that I share his feelings and fears? Do I shrug off the situation as being no big deal? Maybe I could crack a joke about the whole thing, citing how late night hours make people do strange things.

As the seconds ticked by, I just knew I had to say something, but when I opened my mouth to speak, I was saved by the bell, so to speak. The timer on the oven went off, and as our time was cut short at the moment, I simply let out a sweet thanks to him for telling me everything, then I kissed him on his cheek. He stood and held out his hand to help me up. Then we headed into the kitchen to check on everything, still joined at our palms.

I knew I would have to talk to him about everything that he had just said. And I knew I'd have to summon the courage to tell him how I was feeling, too. For now, though I had been granted a short reprieve to put my thoughts in order. That's exactly what I did. While I took everything out of the oven and gathered the ingredients to mix up our salad, Edward left the room to set the table, having decided to use the formal dining area tonight.

His absence allowed me to put things into perspective. I knew that if he could be brave enough to bare his soul to me, I would have to do the same. All that was left now, was the how and when. It had to happen at some point while we ate, maybe dessert would be the best. One thing was clear, there was a serious need to talk and it had to happen before we were in close proximity again, or I would lose both my nerve and clarity of mind. He just had that impact on me, and I while I cherished it, it also scared the Hell out of me. With my plan in mind, I began to bring dinner to the table.

At least the need to fill our mouths with food would reduce the need to fill our time with conversation, giving me more time to steel myself to the big reveal that was about to take place.

_**Okay, so I really hope everyone enjoyed it, and it ended up being worth the wait. It's one of the longest chapters so far, and in the middle of writing it, I had to deal with a mouse in my living room! I shit you not, so show a writer some love for handling the mouse, the master's class from Hell, and finally getting out my love for all of you! Thanks again for reading, favoriting, recommending, and of course REVIEWING! Next to post will be the dinner and piano lesson. I'm not sure who will be telling it, maybe both of them, but I decided this chapter was long enough already at over 8,500 words! Oh, and please forgive any errors, I was too anxious to finally post it to proof it all! I hope it worked out, though! **____** Love you all!**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**I'd like to begin with I'm SO SO SO SO SO SO SO VERY SORRY for the epic long wait! I'll fill you in at the end, just go read for now…**_

_Recap of the end of Chapter 14, Edward had just revealed his strong feelings for Bella, they are anticipating dinner and an evening alone together, including her first piano lesson, and she isn't sure how to respond to his declaration. And now, the story continues…_

_Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine, obviously._

**EPOV**

Saved by the frickin' bell. That's all I could think. The timer signaling the need to end our awkward moment was more than a relief. All day I had been thinking about what I would say when I was finally alone with Bella. Jasper had to listen to me worry on and off, but thankfully had promised not to say anything to Alice. He'd always been fairly trustworthy, and I knew I could always count on him, for practically anything.

His advice was to just tell her how I felt already. It had been _his_ voice booming in the back of my head that had driven my recent confession. The silence that followed had been excruciating. I had never bared my soul to anyone like that before, and now I wasn't so sure it had been a good idea.

I mean, sure it felt good to get the truth out, but having to sit in silence with Bella afterward was beyond straining. What I wouldn't have given at that moment to be able to hear her thoughts. I had often wondered what it would be like to have the power to know what was running through people's minds. With my luck, though, she would have been the only one immune to my talent.

Now, as I set the table for dinner, all I could think about was what I would do if Bella didn't return my sentiments. How would I survive knowing that while I was fawning over her, I wasn't even a blip on her radar? Of course, in the back of my mind I knew I was being ridiculous. She wouldn't have gotten so bent out of shape about my reaction to the kiss if she didn't truly care. Plus, I'm sure that if I felt whatever current we had flowing whenever we were close, she must have felt it too. There was just no fucking way I was alone in that strange sensation.

I had to ask her what she felt. I wouldn't be able to sit through dinner without knowing, just the nerves from anticipation were enough to make me lose my appetite. At least if I knew where her emotions were at, I might be able to relax or at the minimum guide our interactions more appropriately.

Thinking about my urgent need to hear from her as well as the sudden draw to be close her, I set the table so that we were seated with one of us at the head with the other off to the side. That way, we could easily look at each and still maintain some contact. Just as I finished setting everything up, Bella came waltzing into the room with dinner. It took all of my control to not just pounce on her right then.

I wanted to kiss her passionately, distract her, attempt to dazzle her with some of the skills I've been told I have with the ladies, although I rarely used them. I needed her to focus on me and the moment that we had just shared. The moment that had been interrupted and had left me feeling both fear and gratitude. After her second trip into the kitchen she stated that was everything and we were ready to eat.

Glancing at the table and seeing the change in our seating arrangements, she eyed me warily. I took a chance and headed for the head of the table, pulled out the chair there, and gestured for her to sit. It wasn't as if we had assigned seats or anything, but I could tell this move made her a little unsettled. Feeling the need to reassure her, I walked towards her and gently took her hand, guiding her to the position I was placing her in, and she finally sat down.

I then headed to my seat nearby. She looked a little unsure of what to do next. Normally, with a big family dinner we'd say grace, but I wasn't too into it, and I didn't know what her feelings were on the matter. It struck me at that moment how very little I truly knew about her, but I couldn't worry about that now. So instead, I took her hand, inhaled deeply and just dove in to the conversation that I knew we needed.

**BPOV**

Edward had rearranged our usual place settings and placed me at the head of the table. I wasn't sure what the reasoning was behind it, but from the look on his face, I wasn't going to be able to delay a discussion for long, and I got my confirmation when he took my hand and began, "Bella, I know I just threw a lot at you, but I have to know what you're thinking. I have never done anything like that before and to be honest I'm a nervous wreck!"

I knew I had to answer, but where to begin?

"I know. That really did take a lot of courage to tell me all of that, and I really do appreciate it. I'm just not sure what to say, Edward. I'm sorry."

"Tell me that you feel it too. I'm not saying you have to tell me you love me, that's not even what I said to you, but I need to know that you feel this whatever it is, too. I have to know that it's not just one-sided here."

He was staring at me eagerly, with an almost puppy dog look expression. I didn't want to remain silent and hurt his feelings, and I truly did care for him, but everything was just so confusing. Why did life have to be so hard suddenly?

I took a chance and plunged in, "I feel it Edward. I don't know what it is, but I feel it. Everytime I look at you, my heart skips a beat. My mind is constantly swarming with thoughts of us, or at least the "us" that could be. I've felt it since the moment we first met, and it scares the daylights out of me."

"You're gorgeous and I'm plain. You're popular, and I'm fairly antisocial. You're suave and debonair and I'm, well, I'm a klutz, to put it plainly. I find it hard to believe that you feel as strongly for me as I do you. I mean you could have anyone. I worry that you may feel some of these things out of sympathy for me." He opened his mouth to speak, but I held a finger up to silence him.

"Losing my parents was hard, but I don't want you to think that your affection will fix that. I actually feel kind of bad that my emotions about you have consumed so much of me that I haven't properly mourned my loss. I'd worry that we created our feelings just to satisfy a commitment that our parents' made, but having felt them even before that news, I can't see that."

"I'm scared, Edward, because I've never felt this strongly about anyone, and you are way too good for me. What if you change your mind? Where will I be then?"

"I'd never put you in that position, Bella. I meant what I said earlier. I can't explain it, and if I was the kind of guy who did the whole love at first sight thing, I'd totally say I have it with you."

I blushed. Did he just admit to loving me? Where's a paper bag when you need one? I felt like hyperventilating! My heart was beating a mile a minute, and it was at that moment, that I noticed he probably realized what he had just said too.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off, "Edward, I care for you a lot too. When you kissed me that day, it was as if the rest of the world just melted away. You hear people speaking of fireworks going off, or hearing angels sing, or even feeling like they are flying, and I would have scoffed at them all before. That one kiss, it was the most incredible experience of my entire life."

"Mine too." We both blushed at that. "Listen, do you think I could have a do over?"

Huh? Was he saying he wanted to kiss me again? Right now? Well, better now, than before we started chowing down on all the onions. His hopeful gaze made my pulse quicken, and even if I wanted to I could deny him nothing. I did kind of want to play with him a bit, though.

"That depends, do I get one if needed at a future time?"

"You can have anything you want, within reason, of course." I wanted to say, what if what I wanted was you, but didn't. He'd just told me he didn't want to be all hormonal, and we had promised his parents about the whole sex not factoring into the decision thing, so I had to bite my tongue. Not trusting myself, I simply nodded.

He smiled and then slowly leaned in towards me. With one hand rested on mine, he took his free hand and gently caressed my neck, beginning at my collarbone and working his way upward. We both licked our lips in anticipation and our eyes remained locked the entire time. When he reached the top of my neck, he snaked his hand around to cup my ear and gently palm the back of my head, pulling me towards him.

Then, slowly and ever so gently he pressed his lips to mine. At first the kiss was sweet and chaste, but soon we grew needy and the passion began to flow. I let him lead, since he was the one wanting to try again. When I felt the wet heat of his tongue caress my lower lip seeking permission for entrance, I sighed and my lips gently parted, imploring him to explore my mouth.

Soon, our tongues were dancing around one another twirling and plunging. The electricity that seemed to flow between us was like a lightning bolt, and all the passion that this kiss contained seemed to flow out like a spring finally sprung. As our moans began to grow louder and the heat we seemed to share grew almost unbearable, Edward began to back out, slowing us to a more sensual and loving pace.

With one last soft and pure kiss, he withdrew from my lips, pulling back only far enough to hold my gaze. I hadn't realized it, but at some point my lids had dropped and when I reopened my eyes and they met his, I noticed something I hadn't seen before and it truly scared and thrilled me all at the same time. Deep within the wells I could see our future.

It all flashed before me in the blink of an eye. I saw us exchanging rings and sharing a first wedded kiss. I witnessed the swelling of my abdomen as I carried our first child. I lay eyes on that child being born and watched as they grew. I saw more in this future full of little bronze haired children scampering about and in which Edward held me in a passionate and loving embrace.

And I knew then, that it was what I wanted more than anything in the world. As he stared back at me, I could only pray that he saw it too. It seemed like hours passed as we sat there staring at one another, but I know it was only seconds before he smiled at me, muttered his thanks, and dropped his hand from my head.

I immediately missed the contact and wanted to say something when he suggested we eat before the food got cold. I couldn't help but wonder if he suggested that because he didn't experience what I had, or if he truly just didn't know what to say anymore than I did. I hoped for the latter, but feared for the earlier.

Dinner passed in relative silence, our mouths filled with food, and an occasional compliment from Edward. We discussed my lesson a little more, and decided that we would just work on getting me used to the keyboard tonight. I conned him into playing a few pieces for me, and before I knew it, we had eaten our fill. Deciding to postpone dessert until later, to allow our food to settle, Edward helped me to clear the dishes away.

We quickly cleaned up our mess, putting what little leftovers there were away, and then Edward surprised me by taking my hand to lead me over to his piano. Sliding in first and then pulling me down next to him, he began to quiz me on elementary music theory. He asked me if I knew what middle C was, if I was familiar with treble and bass clefs, that sort of thing. I reached deep into the recesses of my mind and was surprised by all that I remembered.

From the look on Edward's face, he was mildly impressed with my knowledge as well, pointing out that I was already doing far better than Alice had. He then began to explain about the keyboard itself and the pedals below. We had decided at dinner to keep it simple and so he let me just glide my fingers over the keys, getting a feel for them and how they worked. He reached behind my back and grabbed my right hand in his and gently held my left as well to show me the proper hand position.

He then explained to me the need to use all of my fingers on the keyboard, and spoke a little about how to cross over. Finally, he set me up to play a couple of scales, minus the sheet music, of course. I must have impressed him, because he suggested we play a little duet. I smiled when he suggested "Heart and Soul." We switched sides of the bench so I could play the easier part of the song, and having heard it before on the movie "Big" I was happy to have something familiar so I hopefully wouldn't make that much of a fool of myself.

After showing me what to do, Edward gave me a few rounds of the bass part to get used to my task and then jumped in. We started slowly so I could get acclimated, but as my confidence grew, he picked up the pace and soon we sounded a lot like the song I had become so familiar with.

Then, he surprised me by singing the words. I hadn't even realized that there were lyrics to the song, but when I heard his angelic voice carrying the words to my ears, I couldn't help but see a mild connection to our situation and wondered if he had chosen this selection on purpose. We played through the song a couple of times, and soon I even found myself humming along. Edward's voice seemed to encompass me in a caring embrace, and I couldn't help but smile.

_Heart and soul, I fell in love with you,  
Heart and soul, the way a fool would do,  
Madly...  
Because you held me tight,  
And stole a kiss in the night..._

Heart and soul, I begged to be adored,  
Lost control, and tumbled overboard,  
Gladly...  
That magic night we kissed,  
There in the moon mist.

Oh! But your lips were thrilling, much too thrilling,  
Never before were mine so strangely willing.

But now I see, what one embrace can do,  
Look at me, it's got me loving you,  
Madly...  
That little kiss you stole,  
Held all my heart and soul.

Soon, I didn't even need to watch my hand while playing the notes, which is good because I couldn't help but stare at Edward while he sang to me. The words reminded me so much of our first kiss and sent me reeling and desperate for more. Apparently, they had a similar impact on Edward because soon, he was dropping his hands and capturing my lips in his. This kiss was fast and furious, full of passion and all of the things that we really weren't ready to say out loud.

And I could have kissed him like that all night, had it not been for the sound of the front door opening and closing which startled him. I was glad he had been listening because just like last time, his kiss seemed to carry me to some outer body experience, leaving me oblivious to the outside world. His swift detachment left me aching for more, but at just that moment Alice walked into the room with a knowing smirk on her face.

"Hi guys!" she called cheerfully. "How's it going?"

"Great," I said, a blush creeping up my face. "Edward was just teaching me that duet"

"Oh yeah, which one?"

"It was "Heart and Soul" you know from that movie "Big" with Tom Hanks?"

"Really? I love that song, make room, I want to play too!"

"Um, Alice, it's called a duet for a reason," Edward piped up, "it's only two parts. It's meant to be played by 2 people, not 3."

Alice stuck her tongue out at him and began to pout. He just turned to me and rolled his eyes. "You're such a party pooper," she huffed.

"It's okay, Alice. You can play my part if you want, I'll just go take our dessert out of the freezer."

"I'll help you," Edward popped up, offering his hand to help me slide off the bench and stand."

"You can't both leave! Who will play the other part with me?" She whined.

We both just looked at each other and smiled. Like a toddler, she stomped her right foot in aggravation and threw her hands up in the air, "You two suck! You know that?" She called after us. We both just laughed and walked merrily into the kitchen. Then she yelled back "Can I at least join you guys for dessert? I want to hear all about your evening!"

Edward cocked an eyebrow at me questioningly and I shrugged. He sighed, "Yeah, Ali, you can have some dessert;" I knew he'd give in, "just don't expect much in the way of details." I smiled. I kind of wanted to keep things our little secret for the time being. We really needed to talk more before we started sharing our lives with everyone else.

"Hey," he turned to me, "after we dish up our dessert, you want to come hang out in my room and listen to some music?" he asked.

I beamed at the thought that he wanted to spend more time with me. "I'd like that." He smiled back. Then we dished up three plates of pie and sat at the kitchen table. Alice wasn't thrilled by our silence, especially when the rare comment that was made came from Edward and spoke of how much better I was at the piano than she had been. He chuckled with every dig, and I couldn't hide the smile that invaded my face with his words.

Feigning fatigue, we then cleaned up dessert and bid Alice a goodnight, heading upstairs. She planned to stay up for a while yet watching some show on T.V. so we knew we'd have at least a little more uninterrupted time together. Hand in hand we headed up the stairs towards his bedroom, and when he closed the door, this time it was I who attacked him.

I threw my whole being into that kiss. I wanted so badly to be with him, to push aside all my fears and just focus on us for a moment. It was over far too soon, however, as Edward gently pushed me back. Knowing the disappointment he likely saw in my eyes, I was not surprised when he sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. He dragged me over the futon in his room, pausing to flip on some music.

Then he turned towards me and spoke those words that in most relationships would strike fear, "We have to talk." I bit my lip nervously, knowing there was no way I could articulate anything at the moment, and looked at him expectantly.

"Where do you want to go from here, Bella?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's clear we both like each other, and to be honest, I haven't had an interest in dating anyone else. Frankly, the idea of you dating another guy makes me sick."

"I wouldn't worry about that. I'm not the desirable divinity that you are."

"Fuck Bella, you just don't see yourself clearly." I cringed slightly at the harsh tone of his voice. "You are the most beautiful girl I've ever met, both inside and out."

The sincerity in his gaze could not be denied. If nothing else, he believed what he was saying and that was something.

"Could we just not put any pressure on this right now, Edward? I mean, do we have to make any major decisions at this moment? I'm not going anywhere. Are you?"

"I'm only leaving if it means following you somewhere. I'm pretty sure you have my heart now, so I hope you take care of it." I blushed at the sweetness of his sentiment.

"Okay, then. Let's just spend a little time enjoying whatever it is we have right now, and worry about the tough stuff another day. Is that okay?"

"Sounds good to me," he replied. Then he wrapped me tightly in his arms and we just sat there listening to the music streaming out of the speakers. He reached up and gently began running his fingers through my hair. I sighed and before I realized I was doing it, turned on my side to lay my head in his lap. With my eyes closed, the music playing, and the soothing feel of his touch, I felt more relaxed than I had in ages.

Before I knew it, I was being awoken by a pounding on the door.

"Edward, I know you're in there, and so help me God, if you aren't downstairs and ready to go in 10 minutes, I'm sending Emmett up."

**EPOV**

My twin's whiny voice startled me from the sweetest slumber ever known. Boy she could really be pissy when she wanted to. It was only then that I realized Bella's head was in my lap and quickly flashes of last night flooded my mind. Somehow we both ended up relaxed enough to fall asleep with each other.

The idea that we felt so comfortable with one another just solidified my belief that we were meant to be. Although I hadn't taken it nearly that far out loud, in the depths of my heart I just knew. Bella turned her head to look up at me and my morning wood twitched at the feel. I prayed to God she hadn't noticed.

"Good morning," she said, her voice sweet as a small smile played at her lips.

"It is with you here," I smiled in return. "I'm sorry about the feisty fairy. I don't know what crawled up her butt, she's usually disgustingly cheerful in the morning." She laughed at that.

"I'd guess that she knows I spent the night in here and is disappointed about not having any details about our evening."

"You know her all too well already, I see." I almost added that I hoped no one else knew she'd spent the night in my room, but thought better of it after realizing how it would sound. It's not that I'd mind so much if something had happened, but I'd rather that my parents didn't find out about events that never took place to begin with, especially considering the circumstances.

"So do you think I should hang out in here until everyone's gone, or come out when you do? I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea." Great mind think alike, was the only I could think.

"Um, just give me a minute. I'll check things out and if the coast is clear I'll let you know." I gave her a little smile, reassuring her that there was no offense meant by not leaving together. She just nodded back.

I stepped out of the room for a brief moment, quickly closing the door behind me just in case anyone was lurking in the hall. I was glad I did too, because of course my sweet sister was waiting with baited breath. She practically pounced on me the moment I was out the door.

"Edward," she began, and I shushed her and pulled her away from the door. Whatever she was going to say I was sure Bella didn't need to hear.

"Oh. My. God. What happened last night? And don't tell me nothing because I know something happened. Bella didn't return to her room, at least I don't think she did, because I waited there until some ungodly hour in hopes of helping her download the events of the evening, before finally heading to bed myself. It was really quiet when I headed by your room, although there was music playing, but you can't tell me you spent the night listening to it, I want details."

"Jesus girl, slow down and take a breath. I am not going to say anything about last night, and you can't make me, but I AM going to say this, let Bella tell you about what happened if she wants. Allow her to seek you out, don't jump on her. In fact, if you aren't downstairs and far away in the next 30 seconds, I will start destroying a pair of shoes for each second over that time frame."

"You wouldn't dare," she scoffed.

"Just try me. I mean it Al, this is no time for you to be nosing around. I'll be glad to share with you all the details when things are figured out, but for right now, just shut it. Alright?"

She eyed me carefully and then sighed, "Fine. But, I'm only giving in because you said there were details to figure out, which I can only guess is a good thing, so I'll be good. FOR NOW."

"That's all I'm asking. Now…"

"What?"

"I'm waiting…"

She let out a frustrated growl and threw her hands up in the air, then turned and stomped out of sight. I waited until I heard her retreating footsteps clear the landing and continue their descent before returning to my room.

Bella startled when I entered. "It's okay, it's just me."

"Who were you arguing with?"

"No one really. It was just Alice."

"Oh," she nervously bit her lower lip, and fuck if that wasn't cute.

"Don't worry she's promised to play nice."

"How did you manage that?"

"I threatened to destroy her shoes." She laughed at the thought; I loved her laugh.

"Well, thanks for that, I guess."

"No problem. I can't make any promises, but you're at least off the hook for this morning. You should know, though, that she's aware you didn't return to your room last night."

Her eyes widened at the statement. "Don't worry, she didn't say anything, and she wouldn't anyway. She was just hanging around in there awaiting your return last night and eventually gave up. So, you could have easily gone to bed at some point after she left and just gotten up early this morning, or you could have spent the night with me. She only has theories, no proof, but she can be sneaky and I wouldn't put it past her to give you the third degree after school today."

"I'll remember that. Maybe I can make sure I'm scarce." I frowned at the thought of not seeing her when I got back but quickly wiped it from my features. It was just too soon for serious reactions like that.

Silence filled the void for a moment, then she pushed herself up with a sigh and headed towards the door. "Well, I guess I'd better go and let you get ready for school. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you because I was holding you up."

"Don't ever make yourself sound like you are in the way, you're not. I wish I didn't have to go to school today so we could spend some more time figuring our shit out. Do you think we could talk some more after I get home?"

"Um, yeah. I think I'd like that."

"Just talk though, okay. The kissing last night was phenomenal, but I think we need a clear head to get answers." I didn't add that just being in close proximity to her would fuck with my brain, so truthfully we should probably try to work things out in text or chat or something. That idea was simply not tolerable.

"Okay, I'll see you later then," I told her and I leaned over to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. My proximity and the gesture were enough to make her relax her eye lids, and I gently pressed my lips to hers. When I pulled away, I waited until her eyes slowly opened and as she stared back at me I saw flashes of our future in them and it made my gut twist with anticipation.

I promised to make sure Alice went somewhere else after school so we'd have more time alone to talk, and she smiled at me. We said goodbye, and she took off down the hall. A void settled in my chest as she took her warmth with her. Things were getting serious fast, and despite all of my worries, I was really finding it hard to stay away from her.

I quickly got ready and headed out of my room, glancing at the closed door to her bedroom as I headed down the stairs. I was leaving part of me with her today, and I knew it. We had to talk, and fast.

"It's about effing time Nancy Boy," Emmett's voice boomed.

"Shut the fuck up! You know I'm not a morning person. Besides, I forgot about this whole let's try to be more environmentally friendly push, thinking all I had to do was make sure to get my own ass to school in time, failing to acknowledge our carpool. Forgive me, alright?"

He responded with an angry kitty shriek and hiss, "What's got your panties in a twist? I mean I know you aren't all rainbows and sunshine in the morning, but it's not like you to be this whiney in the morning."

"Well, I don't normally get woken up by the pounding of my annoying fairy of a sister with a threat to send you in after to my ass if I didn't get moving." I glared at my twin, "I swear, sis, if you ever so rudely interrupt my beauty sleep again I will find the wings I'm sure you sport and rip them off."

"Holy fuck, Edward. Just calm down. Your just pissed because I interrupted something other than your beauty rest." Her hand immediately went to her mouth as if she hadn't meant to say anything and that was probably true, but Jesus, why did she have to blurt that out in front of Em.

He was now eyeing me with one brow raised in unspoken inquiry. I knew I'd have to talk to him at some point, but now just wasn't going to be that time, so I just brushed past him walking into the kitchen to grab a cereal bar and a Sunny-D single. It wasn't much of a breakfast but it would have to do.

"Are you two ready, because I will not be blamed for making us late today," I eyed them and headed to the door.

Clearly seeing I wasn't ready to talk they scurried out the door I had just opened and walked through. I took a deep breath before closing it with a sigh. Thankfully, the ride to school wasn't too long, and perhaps I could avoid questions by feigning politeness while I ate my makeshift breakfast. Afterall, one shouldn't talk with their mouth full, and today I was going to be that one.

I did in fact manage to avoid further questions and comments by the grace of God before arriving at school, but then was quickly ambushed and dragged away by Jasper. Apparently the fucker was playing for the other team, which didn't surprise me since he was sleeping with the enemy.

"Alice is pissed dude. She texted me on the drive over and asked me to talk you down. What the hell happened last night?"

I looked at him and pinched the bridge of my nose, racking my brain for the answer to his question. "Nothing. Everything. I don't know."

"You're gonna have to give me more than that. Did you two talk? Did you tell her how you feel?"

"Yes."

When it was clear I wasn't going to voluntarily elaborate, he continued, "Yes, to which question?"

"Both."

"So how did it go?"

"It went better than I expected actually. I mean it was tense and strained for a bit, but we talked and she feels a lot of the same things."

"That's gotta be good right?"

"Yup." I popped the "p" and stared off in silence. Watching in my peripheral as he studied my face.

"What aren't you telling me, bro?"

I turned to answer. "Nothing really. We made dinner, talked a little, got to know each other a little more, and I taught her to play the piano, sort of. There was a little kissing, and that was it."

"Alice thinks she spent the night in your room."

I averted my eyes from his gaze.

"Oh my God she's right! She did spend the night in your room! Holy shit this is huge!"

I shushed him and glanced around nervously. The last thing I needed was some deranged prick spreading rumors about what they thought they knew.

"But nothing happened, and don't you dare go spouting your mouth off to my sister about this. She's already primed to spring on Bella for details, I don't need her to have anymore motivation. We went back to my room to talk last night, I put on some music, and at some point we both fell asleep. End of story."

"Dude, that's huge. I mean you two felt comfortable enough to fall asleep with each other. That says a lot right there." I allowed myself a brief smirk thinking about how I had shared that same thought this morning, then I wiped it away, hoping he hadn't noticed.

"Or maybe it just says we were both fucking exhausted. I don't know Jazz, we're just so confused. I mean, this is all really intense, you know?" I looked at him hard for a moment. Of course he knew, he had something similar going with my twin, even if I didn't want to admit it. There was some kind of link to our bond that allowed me to know that. This thought led to more nerves as I wondered if she could sense something in me too.

Misreading the look on my face he responded, "It's okay, Edward. Intensity is not always a bad thing. I mean, there are lots of really great intense things. You sister is one of them, and you really hurt her this morning. She feels awful about the slip in front of Emmett and is worried you'll never talk to her again."

"That's never going to happen and she knows it."

"Yeah, well, she may have also texted something about her shoes, but I was too distracted by the intensity of her sorrow to care about something so superficial." I had to laugh when he mentioned her shoes. It would be just like her to fear I'd destroy her possessions in a blind rage, but I couldn't find it in myself to stay angry with her.

Jasper was right. She was a great thing to have in my life, and so was Bella, and Alice just saved me the trouble of starting a very awkward conversation with Emmett. I mean, it would still be uncomfortable, but at least he'd know where I was starting from which helped a bit.

"Alright, I see your point. I'll go find her and reassure her that her shoes are safe. It's the least I can do."

"Oh, and by the way, I don't know how she knows, but she does."

"What are you talking about?"

"She knows how you feel about Bella." My suspicions about the link were confirmed and my stomach knotted. "She also knows that I knew and didn't tell her. She's mildly pissed at me right now, but this is part of my penance."

"Oh really? You're sure you didn't let anything slip last night?"

"I swear I didn't say a word to her about you, or Bella for that matter. She does have a sixth sense about these kinds of things, you know that."

"Yeah, unfortunately I do. Well, thanks for the warning."

"Anytime. Thanks for making up with her. You know she owns me right? I'd do anything to cheer her up."

"Yeah, I do." I sighed and turned away to seek out Alice. She deserved my extending the olive branch to her. Despite all of her little quirks, she was still my twin and there was a special bond there that meant being present for each other through thick and thin, and she'd always been around for me.

Now, I needed her more than ever if I was going to make it through everything in one piece, especially without royally fucking up along the way.

As suspected, when I did find her, she cut me off to apologize about her earlier slip, and I reassured her it didn't matter and joked that all her possessions were safe. I also told her I didn't mean what I'd said this morning, I was just being bitchy without good reason and she hadn't deserved my lashing out.

She smiled and forgave me after informing me that she was going to set up a girls' night for Friday night, taking Bella out with her to the movies along with Rose and then they were going to spend the night at Rose's.

My job, and Jasper's apparently, during this time was going to be to get all of Bella's old furniture out of her room, paint and prep it for the Saturday furniture delivery, and to go to this place called Pottery Palace. Apparently, Jasper and I were each being charged with making something from the heart.

His, of course would go to her, and mine was to be a nice addition to Bella's new room. I could clearly see all her evil plan now. This was part of her punishment to Jasper for not telling her what he knew, and for my screw up with the kiss with Bella. I got it, but damn she could be brutal sometimes.

Didn't she know what that would make us look like? What guy would be caught dead in a place like that? Especially, when a hot girl wasn't on his arm. I could only hope that no one we knew would see us, how embarrassing would that be?

I sighed. Fuck, it was going to be a long week with that looming ahead of us, and it definitely was going to be a long day knowing that I had Bella waiting for me at home.

_**Note: Heart and Soul Lyrics belong to Frank Loesser. **_

_**A/N: This update came later than I wanted because real life sucks and when it rains it pours! My aunt fell ill shortly after my last update and then passed away. Dealing with all of that took a lot of time, and I got behind in my Master's program work and grading for work, etc. So I had to get caught up with all of that. Then when I finally thought I'd have time to write, the stomach flu went around my house! First, my husband got it, then I got it, and then not to be left out our 2 year old got it. So, yeah, life sucks sometimes. Oh, yeah and then I had a day off, which could have been spent writing and grading, but instead I had to have 2 root canals. So it's all fun here! I will never again swear to not make people wait because apparently life always has its own agenda. I hope you all understand. Thanks for sticking around, and forgiving me for the delay. I finished this up when I should have been working on midquarters, but this seemed more important to me. Now, I can't wait to hear your thoughts, and while I don't know when I'll be able to update again, I can tell you that it should be great! The next update will hold the talk after school, Friday night, and maybe all of Saturday, we'll just have to see. **_____

_**Thanks for everyone's reviews and support. There are like 250 or more people that have me favorited which is AWESOME! I have less reviews than that, but that's life. I know we're all busy. **_


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, more at the bottom, if you care. Warning: I'm jumping POVs a lot between B and E, it's just the best way I could get everything I wanted into this chapter and keep my format flowing. Longest chapter yet, I think…I'm shutting up now, so you can read.**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight; I just torture the characters every now and then._

_Recap Ch. 15- E&B ended up having a wonderful night together and fell asleep in his room. They commit to talking-just talking-to each other again "today". Alice has a sense of how E feels for B. This chappy has the entire rest of the week in it (through Sat. anyway), which is what took so long. _

**BPOV**

After leaving Edward's room, I decided to make myself scarce until I was sure everyone had left for school already. I definitely didn't want to face Alice, and I was in no condition to see whoever else may have been downstairs with her. So I took a long shower and spent seemingly forever choosing something to wear for the day. When that was done, I became extremely aware of how silent everything was in the house. There wasn't even the sound of a T.V. or radio on.

It kind of made me uncomfortable, and I headed downstairs to see where Esme was; only I couldn't find her. Then I noticed a note attached to the refrigerator door.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm so sorry, but I had to go into work this morning. There was a small crisis that only I could handle, apparently. I don't know how long it will take to resolve. I knocked on your door this morning to find out what you would like to do, but there was no answer. I figured you needed your rest and decided to let you sleep or perhaps you were in the shower. Anyways, I promise to help you with unpacking or whatever you need when I get back. Feel free to call me if you need anything, and I'll see you later._

_Love,_

_Esme_

It was then that I realized I was completely alone. The thought was truly irrational, but everyone else seemed to have their own lives and that was definitely something more than I had. I burst into tears at the thought. I missed my mom and dad. I missed my old house, my old school. Hell, I even missed my old "friends" which was ridiculous considering that I didn't really have any true friends, just people I knew by name that counted as friends at convenient times. Most disturbing, or perhaps comforting, was that I missed Edward. We'd started to grow closer to each other, and I found solace in his presence alone.

With a sigh, I swiped my tears away and decided that the best way to pass the time was to keep busy, and after a quick breakfast I headed off to sort through some boxes that we'd brought from my old house. Esme insisted that I should take some time to really think about all of the items before determining their fate, so into a box they went. I figured that now was as good a time as any to sift through them.

I didn't get far though because the first box held photo albums and old home movies. I was feeling the need to reconnect with my life so I sat down and started to thumb through one of the old albums. In a strange way looking at the photos made me feel less alone. The very first picture showed my parents on their wedding day. They looked really happy. The love they had for each other clearly evident in their gaze, and although they were young they were somehow mature beyond their years. Maybe it was because of the situation they'd been placed in, or perhaps it had to do with the confidence they had in their relationship. Either way there was almost a sense of peace knowing that they'd gone together. Their faces showed that one couldn't live without the other.

This was something I'd missed in my years with them. Maybe I had been too much of a strain on their lives, or maybe they weren't so comfortable with PDA in my presence, but the photo made me think of all the other candid shots that could have been taken to let me appreciate what they had and what it seemed like they had tried to give me too. It's not that I didn't know how much they loved each other, but these photos really emphasized it.

I smiled slightly as I turned the page feeling bittersweet at seeing their affection. The next few pages held more wedding photos, but soon they changed over to what seemed like the progression of my life. The first picture showed my mom glowing with just a hint of belly ballooning upward. That belly continued to grow until finally I was there in the picture lovingly wrapped in a blanket. The picture was portrait perfect as my father held me and my mother while she grasped me in her arms. Both of them were gazing down in what looked like awe and wonder.

I skipped most of the rest of the photos because they all seemed to star me and that isn't all that interesting to me. Still feeling the nostalgia, I decided to pop in one of the old videos. It turned out to be a compilation of pictures of my parents along with some video clips put together from their youth, and having never seen any of this before, it was nice getting this insight to their young lives. Somehow, seeing this made me feel more connected to them. They were still alive, naïve, and carefree in the video. Neither of them had experienced the curveballs they were about to be thrown.

Then again, without heartache we can't know pleasure, or at least so it is said. I am pretty sure that I would be able to tell if something was pleasurable even if I had never experienced anything painful. I was tempted to stop the video and move on to something new since from the moment this one started I had been in tears. It hadn't taken long for me to turn into a blubbering mess, and that's exactly the way that Edward came home to find me at some point during the rest of the video.

**EPOV**

"Fuck," I raged as I dug through my backpack and realized that I had forgotten a paper for my English Literature class at home. That teacher would never allow me to turn it in late either. "Looks like I'll have to catch you guys later," I informed my tablemates as we were heading into the lunchroom. I had never been so thankful for open campus in my life.

"What's wrong?" Alice inquired.

"I forgot a paper for class this afternoon. It's for English Lit., and you know how that witch won't let you turn in a paper late. She'd probably issue a demerit or some shit like that on top of things just to make a point, and I do not need to spend my afternoon in detention over something I can easily avoid."

"Oh! You're going home?" she questioned excitedly, "Mind if I join you? I need to change my outfit after some douche bag got ink on my shirt this morning. Apparently they didn't have enough plastic in their diet and had no clue that chewing on their pen could lead to it exploding…dumbass," she grumbled.

"Alice, you're wearing a black shirt. Nobody can even see it."

"But I know it's there, and I can't take it. I feel so soiled, and it's making it hard to concentrate. I NEED to come with you." She quickly kissed Jazz goodbye before I had time to find a rebuttal and dragged me off toward the car. "Have you checked your phone today?" My sister asked conspiratorially.

"No. Why?"

"Mom got called in to work. It looks like Bella's been on her own at the house all day."

My heart ached at the mere mention of her name, and I suddenly realized what Alice was telling me. Bella has been ALONE all day. I could only imagine what that might mean. Was she okay? Was she feeling sad? Did she miss me? Did she decide to snoop around the house? Please, GOD, tell me she didn't stumble upon anything too embarrassing for me. I realized Alice was still waiting for a response so I rustled up a "Huh," and left it at that. Yeah, that was very intelligent.

"Well, I don't know about you, but if I was in her position, I don't think I'd want to be left alone. Maybe, I'd hope for some company. Being alone in a new place and all given the circumstances probably isn't the best."

"Yeah," I stated; I really needed to work on getting more than one word into my responses. Thankfully, my sister realized I was not going to be very conversational. I may have unconsciously broken a speed limit or two in order to get us home more quickly because soon we were turning into the driveway.

Alice bolted out of the car, through the front door and straight up the stairs. She didn't even bother to close the door. I entered and carefully shut it behind me. That's when I heard it, my Bella was crying. I scrambled towards the sound coming from the couch in the living room, fearful that she was injured. Afterall, I had witnessed her clumsiness once before and knew that anything was possible.

"Bella? Are you okay?" She glanced up at the sound of my voice, a look of embarrassment and I don't know what else on her face. "Shit, don't answer that. It was a stupid question. You're crying, of course you're not alright."

"N-No, I'm fine. It's just…" she gestured towards the T.V. screen, and for the first time since entering the room I noticed it was on. She's watching old family videos; her family's videos. She must have been really missing her parents, and I'm an idiot. I stopped standing around like a statue and was by her in a second.

**BPOV**

Edward's arms were strong as he encircled me and the small ounce of composure I'd managed to claim since he'd come in was lost all over again as I heaved myself against his shoulders. He slowly stroked my hair and breathed gentle shushes into my ear. I vaguely realized he was rocking me from side to side like a parent trying to calm a child, and this thought makes me lose it all over again.

We sat like that for an undetermined amount of time with me just soaking his shirt with my tears. Thinking about the embarrassment of how I was destroying his shirt lead me to cry for a whole other reason. I was a lost cause, I realized. Just as it seemed like I'd gathered my senses a new wave of tears hit for one reason or another. Edward carefully shifted us over and grabbed the remote for the T.V., either muting it or turning it off, I'm not sure, and the room went quiet except for my sobs. In the peace, I found a small state of serenity.

At some point I realized that Alice had entered the room, and she and Edward had a brief conversation after which she bounded away and headed out the front door. Edward just continued to hold me and gently stroke my hair. Occasionally, I would feel him kiss the top of my head, or my temple, and he'd replace the silence with a gentle "It's going to be okay," or "I'm here."

One time he started in on an "I'm sorry," but I put a stop to that. I'd had enough people telling me they were sorry, and he hadn't done anything wrong, therefore he had no need to apologize. It was nice having him near me, holding me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered what time it was, thinking it was far too early for him to be done with school for the day, but I couldn't bring myself to ask him about it for fear that he'd admit I was right and pull away leaving me alone again.

The whole scene played out on a loop until finally it seemed that I was all cried out. As I quieted down save for a few "hiccoughs", Edward shifted us so that his back was resting up against the side of the couch with one leg on the floor and the other straightened along the length of the couch. He carefully maneuvered me so that I rested in between his legs, and I let my head fall back against his chest. I still hadn't looked at the T.V. screen for fear of what I might have seen.

He took the blanket that had been draped along the back of the couch and placed it over us, then took one arm and wrapped it around my chest. With his free arm, he began stroking my hair. Shortly after that, he started to hum. I burrowed further into his chest absorbing his scent greedily. I was going to take everything this moment had to offer and more, because there was a sense of grace and beauty at the scene we were creating. It was with these thoughts drifting in the back of my mind that I slowly descended into slumber.

**EPOV**

I had never felt more helpless in my whole life as I did when Bella was buried deep into my shoulder bawling her eyes out. She kept sniffling about how sorry she was for wrecking my shirt, and I almost considered ripping the damn thing off and tossing it to the floor, but then she'd just have complained about covering my chest in snot, or some shit. No matter what I said to her, there seemed to be no comfort in it, and no matter how many times I told her that shirts wash so who gives a shit, she ignored it.

It seemed like every fucking time she was at a point of peace she'd plummet back into her despair without a single clue as to the trigger. I'd tried all the tricks I remembered my mom using on me as a little kid. Yeah, I'll admit that I've cried. Even grown men cry, and I'm not stupid enough to say I never have or never will again. People who say that are the real pussies. It takes balls to admit you can bawl with the best of them, when the situation warrants it.

Holding Bella and cooing to her reassurances was all that I had to offer. Thank God the human body can only shed so many tears and at some point will give out because I wasn't sure how much more I would be able to take if she hadn't stopped when she did. I don't mean that in a cold-hearted way or anything, but a little piece of my heart was breaking ever time she broke down more. There was something that just struck me as tough about Bella, like she could handle herself in just about anything and seeing her vulnerable and just pure destroyed was killing me.

I turned us around, thankful that I'd turned the T.V. off earlier so as to have no risk of her glimpsing anything and triggering another episode. With Bella resting against me I hummed to her, nothing in particular, just some melody that was spinning around in my head, and I figured it would help soothe her mind. Then my fingers drifted of their own accord to her hair. I just let the silken locks drift through my fingers over and over while staring off into space. I'd been doing that for a while, noting how her soft locks felt tumbling amongst my fingertips, when my music was being accented by a soft snoring sound.

I gazed down at Bella and smiled. It was a great position to be in for such a horrible reason, and while I wouldn't want her to ever go through that again; I knew that it was ridiculous of me to think that would be the case. Curious, once I knew she was sound in slumber, I bent to grab the remote again off the table and turned everything back on, but I made sure to keep the volume low.

I figured it would be good to have an idea about what had generated her emotional breakdown so I could hopefully help her avoid another one. I had glimpsed earlier that it was about her parents, but I really didn't know if there was anything special about the video, or if it was just the fact that it featured them that started everything. Not long into the film, I realized it must have just been the memory of them. I vowed that although we said we'd talk about us tonight, I'd also make sure we talked about them, too. I didn't want to cause her to be sad again, but the fact that she was hurting so much wasn't good, especially when she didn't seem to be talking to anyone about everything that had happened.

Being no expert, I just wanted her to know she had a listener at the ready whenever she was willing. After a few more minutes the video faded to black, and I reached over to turn it off, but then the picture changed. Suddenly I was looking at a baby Bella, well, maybe not a baby; she was more likely in the ballpark of 6. She was outside in a garden somewhere sporting a white dress with one of those little headband veils that you might see a slightly older girl wear to her first communion.

In front of her were a couple of girls, Native American in appearance, giggling. One was skipping in front of Bella scattering flowers along the trail she walked, while the other stood where the path seemed to end between two trees. She was standing on a stone bench with a large book in her hands.

Off to her left was a little boy, maybe 4 or 5, although he could have been big for his age. He didn't look too much like he wanted to be there. Someone had dressed him in a black suit and tie, which he kept trying to take off, while the girl up front repeatedly slapped his hands away. "Becca, why are we doing this?" I heard him ask.

"Because I want to play wedding, and Rachel and I can't marry you; that would just be icky. So, you and Bella are going to be married."

"But I don't want to get married," I heard him whine.

"Wait. I don't want to get married either," the voice of Bella spoke up from a distance. It was a little younger and therefore higher, but hers nonetheless. "Jake's a boy, and boys are icky. I don't want to marry him. I don't want to marry anyone," she persisted.

"You said you'd do this with us," the girl in front with the flower petals turned around and spoke to her. "We're older than you, so we get to say what we play, and we want to play wedding."

"But, but," my girl began.

"No buts," the one in front that I think Jake had called Becca replied. "We play all your stupid baby games, both of you. Today is our day to pick something to do, and we are holding a wedding. Now, it's going to be beautiful, and you two will just have to deal with it. So, hurry up because we are going to have to go in for dinner soon, and then you're going home, Bella."

My girl _(wonder when exactly she became that)_ sighed and shuffled her feet up towards the makeshift altar. She was such a cute bride in a "if she was much older" kind of way. I began to wonder what she might look like on our wedding day, if we made it that far. Was this what she would picture? Would she want something inside or out? Would she want it to be big or small? Did she want to wear a white flowing dress and veil? I gazed down at her and knew that no matter what she wore it would be beautiful and no matter how things played out the day would be wonderful. If, of course, and this was still a big if, it happened.

I watched the makeshift wedding take place on screen all while holding Bella in my arms. I had a fleeting thought about who might be behind the camera, but decided that it really didn't matter. I wondered if Bella, or Jake for that matter, remembered being "married" to one another. If either of them did, I really had my reservations about them getting together on Saturday. There was just something unsettling about it all. When Jake was sliding the ring, what looked like blades of grass braided together, onto Bella's finger, I found myself grabbing that same finger and kissing its length.

I continued on to kiss the rest of her fingers up and down on her left hand, then repeated the gesture on her right. I had no idea what I was doing, but after everything, the video, the breakdown, the events of the night before, just all of it together made me want to attempt this sweet gesture. I wanted to be connected to her in some small way while she slept. I felt compelled to shower her with gentle affection. It just seemed like she'd need reminders that I was there.

Going back to stroking her hair, I leaned down and whispered random statements of reassurance in her ear. Suddenly, I found myself having an entire conversation with her, well a one-sided conversation. I was pouring my heart out about my apprehension in the whole situation we'd been placed in while sharing my feelings with her. I even asked her if she thought it was possible to fall in love so quickly. I know we'd discussed this previously, and she knew I wasn't someone that thought much of the idea, but now, with her, things just seemed…different.

Out of a stroke of some strange motivation I leaned in and kissed her cheek gently and as I backed away and whispered, "I think I'm in love with you Bella Swan." She started stirring then, and my eyes flashed back to her face. Had she heard what I said? Did she feel the same way? I wasn't sure if I really wanted the answers to my questions, but when she tilted her head back and smiled sleepily at me I knew that it didn't matter, and when she leaned up and tilted my mouth towards hers I forgot the nerves entirely and in a way had my answer. Whether she heard me or was of little importance, there was something extra in our kisses, something undeniably abnormal and exquisite.

Once she leaned away again she let out a breathy "Hi." Her eyes closed slowly then, only to reopen moments later. At some point, the video I had been watching had run out, and the screen was blank, the player having stopped and rewound the tape automatically. "How long was I asleep?" She glanced up at me with a look of guilt and remorse.

"I have no idea. You needed it, though…Are you thirsty? Hungry?" I asked, continuing along this intense need to take care of her suddenly.

"I could eat. What about you?"

"Starved. I actually skipped out on lunch to come home, and I'm more than glad that I did," I smiled down reassuringly at her. "So yeah, I could eat, too."

"Oh no, I kept you from going back to school?" Her gaze was full of guilt and fear, and I hurried to reassure her.

"Don't worry about it, I didn't want to go back anyways, and Alice said she'd cover for me. I was needed here more." A blush rose up her cheeks at my statement.

"Did you come home because of me? Did your mom send you or did you just come on your own? Did you know I'd be alone? Won't you get into trouble if you just decided to come home and stay with me? I mean, what if your parents find out I caused you to miss classes? Won't they be mad at me? At you?"

"I highly doubt it. Don't fret about anything. Alice is really good at this kind of thing. She'll probably claim I got sick, or had a migraine, or something. Believe me, she'll find a way to make it all work out. She won't have said anything too extreme, not wanting to make either of my parents rush home from work, or wherever they are, and I doubt she'll mention anything about you to either of them. You're safe. Besides, I don't care what they would have said, you needed someone. I think they would be glad that I stepped up. This is, after all, what they are pushing for from us, right?"

She bit her bottom lip and then gave a hesitant nod. "Okay, well now that you have witnessed a rather pathetic moment in my life, I might need to witness one in yours. You got any pictures, or home movies, or something that would put us back on an even playing field?" she joked.

"I'd tell you that there aren't any, but get the feeling you'd ask Alice if I did, and I'd rather just come out with the scary stuff than have it thrust upon me," I answered as I helped her up, and we headed into the kitchen.

"What do you feel like eating?" she asked. "I could whip us up some grilled cheese sandwiches, or maybe some cooked bologna?"

"Cooked bologna? What on earth is that?"

"Well it's nothing much really. Truthfully you just take slices of bologna and fry them up in a pan. It's really good. I once had an elderly neighbor that watched me on occasion, and she used to make it for me." She sighed and became lost in thought once more. "I wonder what happened to Mrs. Snigglefritz. She really was the sweetest old lady, even if now I know she was the crazy cat lady of the block. Seriously, she had like forty cats and her house always smelled like cat pee. It was kind of gross, but she was a really sweet lady, and always had chocolate around."

"Well that's nice, I guess. I had a bad experience with old people chocolate once. There was this old married couple that we used to see every now and again when Alice and I were young, and one day they left us alone in the living room for a bit while they were doing God knows what. Anyways, Alice and I got hungry and we noticed the candy dish filled with chocolates, so we started chowing down. It wasn't long before we'd eaten them all. When the couple came back in the room we had chocolate smeared all over our hands and faces and were literally swimming in wrappers."

"So, what did you guys get into a lot of trouble or something? Did they sit down and talk to you about needing to take time to savor the flavors of life? Oh no, wait, they talked to you about life in the old days, and how kids today have no appreciation for the little things."

"Ha, ha. Go ahead and make your jokes," I said pouting for added effect.

"I'm sorry, really. Proceed. I'd actually like to know what happened."

"Fine," I sighed and inwardly cringed. "They actually weren't mad at us at all, just a little worried. Apparently, the chocolates weren't really chocolate candies. Instead, they were flavored laxatives. Let's just say it was a LONG time before Alice and I ever ate chocolate again, and even now we won't touch chocolates found anywhere near the elderly."

When I finished sharing the story, I looked over and noticed that Bella was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. At least I managed to cheer her up effectively.

"That is," she laughed some more, "the funniest," more laughing, "oh my God, I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard," more laughing.

"Enough. So does that story count? Are we even, yet?"

"I don't know, I mean your story is equally embarrassing for you and Alice, I think in order to be even it has to be just about you. Plus, you got to _witness_ my humiliation; I should be able to have a visual too!"

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I think every incriminating photo has been destroyed, and I'm not sure about the videos. In my early teen years, I went on a rampage after one of my friends had his first date and his mom whipped out every little baby photo she could. She even gushed over what a tiny 'pee pee', her words not mine, he used to have. I couldn't let that happen to me, so yeah, I scoured everywhere I could think and am pretty sure I destroyed every last one. I do have a few more stories I could tell, are you willing to settle for that?"

"A few stories _might_ be equal to physical evidence, but it depends on the dirt in them."

"Oh their dirty enough, they involve nudity," I assured her.

"Well, well, then, I suppose you do have something there," one eyebrow raised. "Mr. Cullen, you have a deal," she extended her hand to shake on it.

"Good. Now I'll tell you the stories while we're eating. That fried bologna sounded appealing, but we're going to need something else to go with it."

"What would you suggest?"

I opened up both the fridge and the freezer and found the perfect addition. "Since we're walking down memory lane and all, how about we walk down last night?" I raised the left over ice cream pie with a smirk.

"That just might be the best idea you've ever had."

"I don't know about that, but I'm sure it's up there in the standings."

"Okay you sit there," she pointed to a stool by the counter, "and I'll get to work on the bologna. It'll take no time at all to cook, and while we're eating, the pie should soften enough that it will be ready by the time we're done."

She whipped out the bologna, and true to her word we were sitting and eating minutes later. It was definitely different, and I couldn't deny it was good, not exactly meal worthy, but satisfactory.

"So about those stories," she reminded me as I dug into the last piece of bologna on my plate.

"Oh, right. Well, let's see...Where to start…Okay, so there was this one time that I was at the gym with my family and I accidentally wandered into the girls' locker room."

"Really, Edward, are you sure it was an accident?"

"Yeah, I was young and didn't really know the difference. Give me a little credit." I glared at her. "Anyways, when I got in there the women were all in various stages of undress, chatting with each other until one of them noticed me, and then all hell broke loose. They were shrieking at the top of their lungs like a mouse or spider, or something equally as frightening had just run across their paths. All I could say was 'What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a little boy before?' I was beyond mortified when my mom came in and dragged me out by the ear, in front of all of my buddies."

"I see, well I guess I could understand that, although I have to admit that when you mentioned nudity, I figured it would have been yours."

"Well, in the second one it was a woman driving down the road naked, so I suppose you aren't interested in it, either."

"Unless it involves your wish to become a chameleon I can't say I do, sorry. To be honest, I feel a little tricked."

"There was this one time I tried to mail Alice off, does that fit the bill?"

"While I'm sure it's funny. I can't count that either, really. There isn't much mortifying about these tales."

I thought for a while. I really didn't know much that I could tell her that we hadn't already talked about and was pretty sure I owed her something here, or at least she seemed to feel like it. Then it occurred to me that there was a picture somewhere of me and Alice bathing together that I didn't get to destroy because Alice wouldn't let me. I tried to convince her just to let me cut myself out, but that didn't work either.

"Hey, I might have a solution. After we finish off the ice cream pie, let's go up to Alice's room." She gave me a puzzled look, but I just shrugged and said "trust me," then I gave her a winning smile. Smiling back she dug into the pie that was now in front of us.

"What? Did you want plates?" she asked with her full spoon frozen just shy of her mouth at my following stare. I just smiled and laughed. Not afraid to dig right in, she was a woman after my own heart. Another point in the Bella column, hmmm.

We finished off the pie quickly and after cleaning up the kitchen I led Bella by the hand to Alice's room. "Now, I must warn you, the fairy will flip is she knows we were in here, so keep it our little secret, okay?" She just nodded in response. I headed right over to her book shelf, which was a joke really. The only books on the shelf were yearbooks and photo albums. There were, however, several magazines so at least she read something.

I trailed my fingers over the albums until I found the one I was looking for and then began flipping through the pages looking for the picture I knew was hiding amongst the rest. Finally spotting it, I heaved a huge sigh and passed off the album to Bella, closing my eyes for fear of her reaction. When she was silent, I chanced a glance up at her. She wasn't laughing, but she _was_ smiling.

"You guys were too cute together, and you have the cutest little tush. Oh Edward, this is the most adorable thing I've ever seen!" I grabbed the album back and held up my finger asking for a moment when she pouted. Turning more pages, I came to another photo that I knew was equally as bad.

"Edward, is this you?" I just nodded. The photo I had turned to had me dressed up as an elf for a school pageant. The one below it was of me dressed as Rudolph. The sad thing was I had gotten so sick that winter that my nose really was that red, no need to paint it or anything to fit the costume. Alice kept them because of some of the other kids in the background, she said it was inexcusable to erase those memories, and I'd lost the will to fight her. No one ever wins.

The rest of the afternoon flew by after that. I showed her a few more pictures from the album. She especially liked the one where Alice had dressed me up to play tea party. I remembered her wanting to put me in a dress, but thankfully my mother had overheard and put a stop to it. She could get feisty when she really wanted something, and I'm not too sure I would have won that battle, even back then. Instead, I was just dressed up like a little gentleman, wearing a tux that had been made for me to use at some fundraiser that year for the hospital. It was a ridiculous thing to wear at all, let alone for a play tea party with my sister. I still can't remember why I did that to even start.

When we finished looking at the pictures we headed back to my room where we just sat and listened to music for a little while. It was really nice to just sit and enjoy things for a moment. Sharing my past with Bella helped me feel more connected to her, and I hoped that when she was ready she would be able to share hers with me.

**BPOV**

After my huge meltdown earlier it was so nice to just relax and laugh with Edward. I couldn't thank him enough for showing me those pictures and hoped he realized just how much the distraction was appreciated. He had been so sweet to me the entire time, cuddling with me and not really pushing me to talk about at all. We joked around, and I smiled more than I had in a long time.

I don't think he realized it, but I had heard his declaration just prior to "waking up." I'd been awake for awhile, but I was enjoying the moment so much that I selfishly faked to continue sleeping. When I looked up at him afterward, the deer in headlights look he was giving me proved that he wasn't ready for me to know, yet. Truth be told, I don't think I was ready either. We were still too new at this whole thing, and I was scared about the direction things were heading. It was important for us to talk about things before taking them further.

It was this thought that plagued me and kept me slightly tense as we sat in his room listening to music. This same position had ended up nicely last night, and while I wouldn't mind more meeting of our mouths, I knew we needed to use them for something else, first. And since it looked like he wasn't going to bring it up and break the ice, I "wo"manned up and dropped the biggest question, "So, what are we going to do about us?"

Okay, that came out a little wrong. It made us sound like a problem. In reality we kind of were, but I shouldn't have put it that way and immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry. That's not what I meant to say. I mean it _is_ in a way I guess, but what I mean is, what are we going to do about this situation we're in? I know we told your parents we'd try, and I was originally very committed to following through with all of this out of respect for my parents' memory, but let's face it we're a little old to be told what to do, for the most part. I don't like the position we've been put in, and while I like you, a lot, I don't want to be forced together. Does that make sense?"

"So, you want to rebel about this? You don't want to be with me?"

"No, that's not what I said. I just mean that I don't want to be _forced_ to be with you. I like being with you, and I want it to be _my_ choice to be with you. Not because I have some kind of deadline, but because that's just how I feel. There seems to be a lot of pressure in this whole situation. I love that our parents want what they think is best for us, but isn't that part of growing up? Figuring out what's best for us on our own? And last time I checked, while the clock _is_ ticking there's not really a set time limit on when kids our age figure things out, you know?"

He sighed and squeezed my hand, trying to get me to look into his eyes as he spoke, "I get it. You're not ready." He held up a finger before I could interrupt. "I'm not ready for this either, Bella. I'm not sure how we can tell my folks, but you're right. While the whole option to see other people is at least better than some get, and believe me I know this for a fact since I Googled it after the bomb dropped, it's still doesn't feel right. We don't have any ground to stand on here, either. This arrangement is mostly about family tradition, not religion or culture. It might have helped if our parents had raised us with that mindset, but they didn't. It's almost like a dirty little secret, and starting out on what could be a lifetime together based on a secret just feels wrong."

"Exactly," I spoke with relief. "So, what do we do then? I mean what do you want to do?"

"I'd love to treat this just like any other normal relationship, but that's going to be hard given that we live in the same house and all. I'll talk with my parents about what's going on and hopefully they'll listen to reason. The only thing that I know right now is that I like you, a lot. This afternoon was amazing, just hanging out and sharing memories with you. I feel closer to you than I have to anyone else in my entire life, family included, and I barely know you. I'd like to change that." I nodded in response. We sat quietly for a while after that.

"Bella, do you want children?"

"Where did that come from?"

"I don't know. I was just thinking about this afternoon and sharing childhood memories, and I was thinking about getting to know you better. It just seems like one of those questions a man asks a woman to get to know her better."

"Um…okay. I guess I've not thought about it much. One thing's for sure, if we do get married and have kids someday, the whole arranged marriage tradition dies. I'm not putting a loved one through it. Matchmaking is one thing when you're trying to guide someone in the right direction. It's a whole other thing forcing experiences on people before they're ready." He just nodded.

The rest of the night was spent discussing the "whys" of our favorite things and sharing more memories. Before long there was a knock at the door, and then it flung open and Alice rushed over to me, grabbed me by the arm and instructed me it was time for girl talk. I looked back at Edward for help, but when Alice glared at the both of us I knew better than to argue. She literally dragged me out of the room and down to mine, where she proceeded to close and lock the door behind me after pushing me to sit on the bed.

"Okay, my dear sister from another mister, I've been patiently waiting all day. Now spill." She really didn't mess around getting right to the heart of the story. "And before you feign ignorance and ask what I want to know, I'll help you out by saying everything. You can start with last night, and then work your way forward." She plopped down on the bed next to me and turned expectantly.

Alice really was a force to be reckoned with. Knowing I couldn't win, I spilled every detail I could without giving too much away. I told her how we'd had a great night last night. How romantic and sweet Edward was. How nice it was to just talk to him and relax. Then I told her that we had fallen asleep together last night, and that was all there was to it. She looked a little disappointed but I continued through. If I didn't get it out fast, I might never get it out at all.

So, I explained my anxiety at being left all alone in the house today, my trip down memory lane, my complete meltdown. I thanked her for whatever she did to cover for Edward and told her how great it was to have company this afternoon. Whatever spell she had me under was powerful because I even told her how Edward had dragged me into her room to show me some old photos of him. After begging her not to be mad at him, she just laughed it off saying that she just appreciated his efforts to cheer me up.

Of course she did tack on under her breath something about how if he'd laid one hand on her shoes he'd be a dead man, and she continued to mumble about how they'd made up so he wouldn't do that. I didn't know what that was about, but she was having some kind of conversation with herself out loud and it kind of creeped me out. When she realized I'd been looking at her strangely she prodded for the rest of the details.

I explained how Edward and I had decided that we didn't want anything to do with this tradition that was being forced upon us, citing that we needed to be the ones to make these discoveries on our own. She nodded in understanding, but I'm not so sure she was on our side because then she added on something about how I should see this as my parents' dying wish and it would be in poor taste not to grant it. That of course made me feel guilty and when she noticed my face she apologized, accepting that her comment was out of line and assuring me that she'd stay out of it from now on.

When all was dished we decided to grab some dinner, and soon she said she was tired and heading up to bed. I debated going back in to see Edward, but decided against it since if Alice was tired, he probably was too. I headed back to my room and pulled out an old notebook from my bookcase. The pages were filled with poetry from different points in my life, but it had been a long time since I'd written. I opened to a new page and penned my feelings:

_They're soft petals_

_his warm lips,_

_there's a charge in there_

_everytime we kiss._

My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of tinkling ivory waltzing up the stairs. In my mind a new visual was created, I continued:

_By the moonlight_

_he sits on a bench,_

_the music he plays_

_wafts to my heart._

_Our souls collide_

_Our minds overwhelm,_

_There's fear and joy_

_in this odd relationship found._

Feeling a peace rush over me after committing the moment to paper I closed the notebook resting it on my chest and leaned back in my bed closing my eyes, I let Edward serenade me in my solitude into serenity.

The rest of the week passed relatively quickly. Esme and I finished off all of the packing. Edward and I talked some more, just to get to know each other. We also simply hung out in his room or around the house. Sometimes we were alone, at other times Alice joined us. One time, Jasper, joined us, too. Alice introduced him to me as her soul mate, and Edward and I just looked at each other, he rolled his eyes, and I just laughed.

It was nice to be a part of a group. Having never had a lot of true friends, I was starting to feel a little guilty about the price paid for my newfound bonds. In the back of my mind I had this nagging about being content after my parents' deaths, but it was a see-saw of emotions. Esme and Carlisle both suggested I see a grief counselor, and apparently the school insisted on one, as well.

Edward and I both had talked with Carlisle and Esme about our opposition to being told what to do. We spoke to them separately during our previously agreed upon meeting times, and mine apparently went better than his. Carlisle had a fit at Edward's declaration; although I have a feeling he likely approached it in a less than adult manner. Carlisle threatened to take away his care, phone, etc., basically if they paid for it, he would lose it. It was one of those as long as you live in my house discussions.

Esme was a little bit more understanding; then again she always seemed to be that way. Her approach was still very practical, however. She pointed out that it was something that my parents had wished for me. She wasn't sure how either of them would have responded to my thoughts, but assumed that they would still put their foot down and insist if for no other reason than to honor their agreement. The fact was that I was not officially an adult yet, and therefore had no say in the matter, not really.

In the end, we both just had to wait it out and see what happened. "It's hard being forced to do something even when it's for your own good," she'd said. I still held out hope that we could change their minds. Keeping in the back of my own how lucky we were to just have a delay and some time to process things is something that would become my coping mechanism. I cared for Edward, but I wasn't ready to marry him, not just yet.

Before I knew it, Friday was upon me and Alice was dragging me out of the house for a "girls" night. We ended up heading out to dinner at some trendy diner where we met up with her friend Rosalie and then bumped into another girl from her school, well it was now mine too, named Angela who apparently was being dragged out by her parents. She seemed really sweet, although a little on the shy side. In fact, we were almost kindred spirits, I'd thought. I was thrilled when Alice asked her to join us since I was a little intimidated by Rosalie. Even though she hadn't really given me a reason to be nervous, it's hard not to be when you are in the presence of a life sized Barbie.

That was the best way to describe Rosalie, a Barbie doll. She was tall and statuesque, with long blond hair that cascaded in gentle waves framing her face perfectly, and eyes that were like violets. Somehow over the course of the evening we got onto the topic of arranged marriages, although I don't recall how, and then Alice opened her big mouth and let slip my situation. That girl has no filter, I swear!

Needless to say Rose and Ange were both shocked, and each had their opinions on the topic, especially after they'd gotten the whole story. Rose was very woman's right to choose and demanding that I find a way out of it. She asked why I wasn't putting up a bigger fight and insisted she would start looking into an escape clause.

Ange, on the other hand, found it somehow strangely romantic, citing that there was something really moving about the love a parent must have for their child to go through so much trouble to make sure they are well taken care of, and that it made her even more emotional to think about how hard it must be to have love bloom in situations like mine, but also pointing out how it must be a much stronger and more passionate love than anything else.

I couldn't even tell you what movie we ended up watching since my mind spent the whole time replaying the entire dinnertime conversation, all of my encounters with Edward, and any snapshots of my parents' marriage I could recall. Afterwards, we parted ways with Angela, who had to get home for curfew and headed off to Rosalie's house. We did traditional girly things there, which I wasn't so sure I was up to, but Alice, of course, left me no choice. Our night was spent eating junk food, doing makeovers (okay so maybe I was the only one on the receiving end there), painting each other's toe nails, and playing "I never." I learned _way_ too much about the sex lives of both Rosalie and Alice and had my inexperience exposed.

Then, Alice and her mammoth mouth, brought up my "date" with Jake on Saturday. Of course, I rushed to correct her slip, but Rose and Alice both insisted that it was close enough to one. I hated what they thought, not that it mattered because I knew the truth, but it still rubbed me the wrong way to think about dating Jake, it would have been like dating my brother (if I had one, anyway). In my mind I saw their point though, and I knew I'd have to rush to make sure Jake was aware that we were just friends and that would never change.

When we finally did go to sleep it was a couple hours shy of sunrise, and we only went to sleep because Rose insisted she needed her beauty sleep. I only wished that my sleep did for me, what hers clearly gave her for results.

**EPOV**

"I don't know what you pussies did, but why did I have to get dragged with?" Emmett pouted as we walked toward the Pottery Palace, or whatever the hell it was called.

"Remember the time you fucked up and almost forgot Rose's birthday Em? Consider this payback for us coming to rescue your ass. We went with you to all those fruity scented bath stuff shops, looked at more candles, soaps, and lotions that there are years in a millennium, and we sniffed each one of those fuckers with you. Hell, we bought flowers and jewelry along with some stupid chick flicks. So the least you can do is come with us now so we don't look like a couple of dudes on a date!" Jazz fired off.

"Whatever," he huffed back crossing his arms across his chest, "I still don't see what the big deal is."

"Look, Em," I spat, "what would you be doing now anyways? Rose is with Alice and Bella, and you know she'd have your balls if you tried to act like you were a bachelor tonight. We're doing you a favor. Besides, maybe you can make her something too. Who knows? The thought might just earn you a get out of jail free card."

"Or at the very least a blow job," Jasper smirked.

"Alright, dick heads. I see your point, but don't think for a second I'm painting some stupid ass unicorn or some other pansy ass crap like that. This action alone is making my nuts shrivel up, and I don't want them disappearing entirely."

"Don't worry, you know Rose would shoot you if you tried to give her a unicorn; dainty just isn't her thing. Now, are we done with all the manly displays of offense? I'd really like to get this over with. Plus, when we finish here, I've got a whole room to clear out and paint in prep of the new furniture that should be here tomorrow," I stated. With a brief nod from them both I grabbed the door handle with slight trepidation and pulled after exhaling a deep sigh.

A chime sounded as we walked through the door. "Hey there gentlemen," came the greeting from a portly woman with a southern drawl as she walked towards us. She was middle aged with short blond curly hair, and her pudgy face gave her chipmunk cheeks as she smiled warmly at us. I quickly glanced around and noticed that we were the only ones in the store. The others must have done the same because we all seemed to audibly sigh in relief simultaneously. "So, what can I do you for? Looking for a birthday or anniversary gift? Or maybe someone just screwed up and you need a little 'I'm sorry' sentiment." My eyes popped wide at her casual accusation.

"Actually," Jasper began, glancing at her name tag, "Ava, my girlfriend Alice recommended we visit. No one's really in trouble and there's no real occasion 'cept my buddy Edward here just got a new neighbor and thought he'd make her a nice welcome gift to spruce up her new place."

Neighbor-that was a nice way to put it. I was glad for his choice of words and for taking control. The rest of us felt awkward enough.

"Oh that's so sweet. Tell me son, your girlfriend doesn't happen to be a short little thing with black spiky hair and more spunk and spirit than a kitty with catnip, does she?"

I chuckled slightly at the description of my sister. "That'd be her," I volunteered.

"Her name's Alice, and she's the sister of that one there," Emmett added as he pointed to me.

"Well, she sure is sweet, but must be a handful to keep up with. When she was in earlier this week, she spoke a mile a minute, and I swear she never stopped for a breath. I had a hard time keeping up with her," she smiled at the memory. "Anyways, I know just what to do with you boys, although in truth, I'd only expected two of you," she paused briefly her brow furrowed, "No matter, there's plenty to go around."

We were shown all types of pre-made ceramics; tiles, vases, boxes, plaques, figurines, etc. "Now, boys, Alice picked those out for you," she pointed to a vase and pot on a shelf behind her," but you're more than welcome to pick something else."

"No we're not. If Alice picked them out, she's expecting to see them," Jasper stated solemnly.

"Oh, okay. Well, I know you," she pointed to Emmett, "will need to pick something. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't really thinking anything. Maybe I could just copy one of theirs?" he squeaked back. It was clear that Ava's glare intimidated him, a fact I found very amusing.

"Hmmm, well, why don't you have another look around first? I'm all about making things unique and personal. I'm sure whoever you're making it for would appreciate that, too."

We just nodded and walked off at her direction. Twenty minutes later, we were set up at a table with everything we'd need; paints, stencils, brushes, stamps, etc. Jasper and I each had two things to decorate, having chosen something extra, while Emmett only had one. Jasper picked a little jewelry box with a fairy perched on top. He figured it would be a nice gift box to give her with a piece of jewelry later.

I had stumbled upon a music box. The box itself was a deep cherry wood, but the lid was inset with a tile displaying a butterfly perched on a leaf. Jazz had informed me that they were a symbol of rebirth, don't ask me how he knew that shit, and I figured it was a fitting representation for Bella's new life. However, it wasn't the butterfly that made me pick it, it was the song: Heart and Soul. It seemed like a nice sentiment, and I hoped that when she heard it she'd realize just how much I had enjoyed our time at the piano the other night. To me, it was one of my best memories at that bench.

In addition, the box doubled as a keepsake box. I figured she could store whatever special things she wanted to in there, and like Jazz wanted for Alice, I hoped to eventually give Bella something she found dear enough to keep in it.

It didn't take nearly as long as I thought to get everything painted and prepped. Ava said that she needed to add a lacquer to them to make them shine, then she'd fire them off and they'd be ready to pick up in the morning. We all were relatively pleased with how everything turned out, although I was a little nervous about whether or not Bella would like them. Emmet's piece even turned out well, which surprised me because I was expecting it to come out like something a kindergartener had done.

After we left the studio, we headed off to grab some pizza, on me since I'd convinced them to come help me paint, and then we went back to my place. My mom had everything laid out on paper and had already taped the walls. My father had started to move some of the furniture out of the room and with the 3 of us pitching in, the room was clear in no time.

Painting ended up going really smoothly, my mother adding embellishments here and there; it was her true signature touch. I was even a little jealous because it seemed like Bella's room was having more effort put into it than my own, but I let that fall to the wayside because it shouldn't have mattered. I wanted Bella to be happy, and I was pretty sure that this room would make her at least feel loved and cared for, which could lead to happy.

We were all up early on Saturday, since we had to run out the pottery place to pick up our pieces and rush back to make sure all the furniture got put into the room properly. I also took a quick detour to a florist's shop to pick up my final touch to the room and a great addition to the pot I had painted the night before. After everything was in place, I showered and changed quickly, anticipating a short wait for Bella's return thanks to my sister, and I was right.

Before long, Alice was leading Bella up the stairs and covering her eyes with her hands, prepping her for some huge reveal. I think we all held our breath as she lifted them away.

**BPOV**

Saturday morning after waking a little too early, even for me, Alice insisted that we needed to rush back to the house. She seemed really excited about something, maybe she had a big date with Jasper later or perhaps some kind of crazy shopping spree to go on, even though she hadn't mentioned it the night before. It was hard to tell with her, she always seemed wound up over one thing or another.

Rose decided to tag along since apparently Emmett was also at the house, and she hadn't seen him in forever, or something like that. I was confused because I was pretty sure they saw each other at school every day, but I didn't say anything. One night spent at her house did not buxom buddies make us, and I highly doubt that even if we were besties she would have appreciated my ribbing. Besides, I wasn't much better about Edward.

At the house, Alice put on some kind of huge unveiling a la TLC/HGTV room makeover show style, and I had to admit I was beyond shocked. There were actually tears in my eyes, and I briefly began to wonder where the camera was hidden. "My room" had been completely transformed; even my new furniture was in, which was hard to believe.

The walls were painted in layers with a majority of them plastered in a hue of cream, but there were horizontal black and blood red stripes placed together around the center of the walls. Each stripe was thick and there was a gap of cream in between them. The top of the room was also trimmed in a red stripe that was accented by a gentle black floral pattern that had been stenciled in what appeared to be a random pattern, but I'm sure it was entirely planned.

My new furniture fit the space perfectly, adding a look of cool marble that the rest of the room helped to soften so the space appeared elegant and mature. The bedside table held a simple cream colored lamp with a shade trimmed in black and red ribbon, and my dresser held a lovely potted orchid. The pot itself was black, but it had red accents and the orchid, of course, was tinted the same white as the room. Next to the flower was a beautiful music box. I wasn't quite sure where it had come from, but I knew right away that I loved it. Tears sprung to my eyes after I opened it and the music filled my ears.

I had to cover my mouth to mute the sob and closed the box before I lost it right there. "So, what do you think?" a velvety voice interrupted the silence. I turned and realized that we were the only two left in the room. I had been so lost in it all that I had missed their retreat.

"It's beyond beautiful. Did you do this?"

"It depends on what you mean by this, but yes. I helped, anyway. I can take credit for the orchid and the music box for sure. I've always loved orchids and their simple beauty reminds me of you, and well, I probably don't need to explain the box." I blushed at his compliment and diverted my eyes.

"Would you stop doing that? Looking away anytime I pay you a compliment?"

"I'm just not used to people thinking I'm beautiful."

"Well these people you speak of must have been mutes if they didn't feel the urge to compliment your loveliness." I looked away again and bit my bottom lip. "I'm serious, you've got natural beauty that a Goddess would envy, don't ever let anyone else tell you otherwise. And don't think anything less about yourself, either." I simply nodded. There wasn't much I could say or do to add to his comments and objecting wouldn't have mattered either.

"Um, where did you find the box?"

"Oh, well while you were out having your girls' night with my dear sister, which I'm sure involved some sort of torture for you, and if I'm right, I'm deeply sorry for that, she planned her own version of torture for Jasper and me."

"Well, I really appreciate your sacrifice; it's beyond wonderful, thank you."

"You're welcome. And, for the record, anything that results in making you smile can never be considered torture. But please don't tell Alice that, I don't want things to get out of hand." We both laughed at that.

"My lips are sealed."

"Should we kiss on it? I mean, that would be like a hand shake, but between lips. And then your lips could literally be sealed." He gave me a charming smile and leaned. When I didn't back away, he took that as his okay and gently caressed my lips with his. Like usual, the world slipped away until a knock at the door brought me back.

Alice was standing there with a knowing smirk on her face,. I'm sure she not only saw the whole the kiss, but had likely been lurking just around the corner listening in to our conversation, too. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Jacob's waiting downstairs."

"Oh crap! I wasn't expecting him so soon. Um, could you tell him I'll be down in like 10 minutes?"

"Yeah, sure."

I turned to Edward then and thanked him for all of his hard work, but apologized for having to run off so quickly. We promised to talk more later. Then he disappeared out the door to God knows where, and I didn't see him again until I got home much later that night.

**EPOV**

Okay, so admittedly, I was a little nervous about Bella spending the entire day with another guy, even if it was just a childhood friend that she swore things were purely platonic with. So after I ducked out of her room to give her some privacy as she prepped to leave, I snuck a look downstairs. I swear that guy seemed to be even bigger than he had been just a short while ago at the funeral/wake whatever it was called.

It made me wonder if the guy did steroids, or something. Figuring that he could become competition, I decided to head down and actually meet him. You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I was going to stick to any other guy interested in my Bella like their shadow. Okay, well maybe not quite like that, but I was going to get to know them, for sure, and do all in my power to make sure they didn't hurt her.

As soon as I began my descent his head shot up. We both eyed each other warily, sizing the other one up like we were getting ready to throw down. When I reached the bottom I stuck out my hand and introduced myself "Edward Cullen, nice to meet you. Jacob, was it?"

"Yeah, that's me. Jacob, Jacob Black, but most people call me Jake."

"Alright, Jake then. So, you've known Bella a long time?"

"Probably since we were in diapers, at least I think I was when we first met. Bella…she's family to me, you know? Even though we haven't really seen much of each other lately, I still think of her like that. It's just terrible about her folks, though. I know my dad is really gonna miss hers."

"Yeah, I'm sure. So, what are you guys going to do today?"

"Not much. I'm just taking her back to the res, my dad wants to see her, and my friends all want to meet her. My sisters are in town right now too, and I'm sure they'd love to reconnect. We might head to the beach later, maybe have a bonfire. You know, just hanging out."

"Sounds cool." I tried to sound nonchalant, even went for the hands in my pockets rocking back and forth look while chatting it up, but I was probably failing miserably. I didn't want Bella going away for an entire day, especially not with some guy she can claim a near kinship to, and who has such a strong connection to her past. However, I knew I had to stop being so selfish. She needed this, and I knew it. Hanging around with people she knew much better than me, my family, and our friends; that was just something that I'd really need if I were in her place. "Well have fun," I said as I turned to walk away. "It was nice meeting you, Jake. Be sure to bring her back in one piece."

"I wouldn't let anything happen to her. Have a good day." Just then, I heard footsteps on the stairs and Bella cheerfully greeted him.

I spied on them from around the corner, a fact that I'm not entirely proud of, as Jake picked Bella up in a huge bear hug and swung her around. "Bells," he chimed. I turned away after he set her back down, feeling bad enough for intruding on their moment. I wasn't sure, yet, but Jake could be a threat. Maybe not as competition, but he could definitely hold influence.

**BPOV**

Hanging out with Jake had been a great distraction. It was nice just getting out of area, away from most of the memories I had of everything I'd recently been through. It was great seeing his sisters, although we didn't really talk for long. Jake pulled me out of the room right about the time they started to reminisce about the time they "married" me and Jake. I didn't remember it, but Jake must have had repeat reminders of the event because he flushed at the reference and rushed us away, citing senility as the only reason his sisters would have married us off.

"I'm sorry about my sisters. I'm pretty sure the next thing coming would have been a suggestion at a reenactment, or something stupid like that. We're too old to be playing kids games, and far too young to be talking marriage. Not that I'm saying we should get married or anything. It's just that my sisters," he seemed really flustered, so I popped in to help him out.

"It's okay, Jake, really. I'm not upset. It's funny you're bringing up marriage, though, because I was hoping we could talk."

"O-kay…" he looked apprehensive, and I rushed to reassure him.

"Not like that. I mean, not about us getting married or anything, it's just that," I let out a huff, "I recently found out that my parents had an arranged marriage, and it was sort of a family tradition."

"What? Wait, so are you saying that you have an arranged marriage?"

"Of sorts, yeah. Remember Edward?"

"The guy that you are living with?"

"I'm not living with him; well not really, I'm living with his parents. He's there by association. Anyways, yes, him. It turns out that his parents have an arranged marriage, too, and our folks both decided we'd be good partners for one another."

"Wow, Bells. That's just, wow. So, you're married?"

"What? No. At least not yet. Essentially, I have until the end of this school year to find someone better, or we'll be married. Edward and I have talked about it, and we're working on trying to get out of it, but I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? You're not sure you want out of it, or you're not sure you can get out of it?"

"Both?" I looked at him apprehensively.

"Huh. Well that's a lot to take in, isn't it?"

"Tell me about it."

"So, how are you doing with all of it?"

"It's slow going, and definitely hard, but otherwise fine. We've pretty much cleared out all of my folks' stuff. I'm all set to start school on Monday. Esme and Carlisle are great, and Alice, their daughter, has been nice too. And Edward, well, that's complicated, of course, but good. It feels great to be a part of a big family. This morning, they surprised me with my new bedroom, and I could just tell they put a lot of work into it."

"I'm glad, Bells. It seems like things are going well for you. So…Are you still shopping around for someone else?" He turned to me and smiled to let me know he was joking, but just for kicks I punched his shoulder. When he flinched in pain, I felt a bit of satisfaction, although more of that probably came from being able to hide my own sense of pain in my fist. It must not have been hard enough, though, because he continued to push, "I'm serious, I could introduce you to some really great guys here, not to mention…"

I gave him that big eye look that could kill, and he shut up. "Learn to take a joke, Bella. Jeez."

"Yeah, well you should probably learn to be funny." I pushed him and ran off towards the tree line behind his house.

"Bella, come on now, you know you shouldn't run. You're just an accident waiting to happen, and I promised your fiancé that I'd bring you back in one piece."

"Shh…" I rushed back towards him to cover his mouth, "That's classified information, got it? I'm not discussing it anymore with you right now, and you are to mention nothing else about it to anyone, got it?"

"Oh yeah, what's gonna stop me?"

"Well, I should hope you are a decent enough friend to keep your big fat mouth shut out of decency, but if you're not, I'll sick Alice on you."

"That the little girl with the black hair that answered the door?"

"She's a lot tougher than she looks!"

"Oh, I'll bet. It's always the ones you least suspect. So, come on, there are some guys I want you to meet."

"I thought we just settled this, Jake."

"Not like that, they're just some of my best friends."

"Oh, well, okay. That sounds cool."

We headed to the beach to meet up with his friends who all seemed really nice. Jake even introduced me to his cousin Sam and his girlfriend Emily. They were a cute couple and seemed to really be meant for each other. Just watching them interact made me feel a lot better about things with Edward. We decided to check out the tide pools, which I hadn't seen in a long time. Not much had changed there, but they left me mesmerized like always. On our way back we gathered driftwood for a bonfire.

That night as we gazed at the flickering flames of the fire, music blasting on the radio in the background, my whole world got flipped upside down, again. Sam's parents were walking down by the beach that night, and as they approached us his mom, Leah, approached me. She started off by apologizing for the loss of my parents, but I cut her off. "I've heard enough condolences for a lifetime, I think."

"I know how you feel. Well, sort of. My mom recently passed away."

"I'm so sor… Oops, I almost did it." I smiled embarrassingly at her.

"At least I'd know you meant it. You have a slight idea of what it feels like. It's a pain you forget when it's distant and one you can't relate to if you've never lost a loved one. It really is okay, though, because now I can do this. I'm your Aunt, Bella."

**EPIC LENGTH A/N: I am BEYOND sorry it took so long to update. For some reason, this chapter just took forever to play out in my mind. I did finally finish my master's program, and just got my degree in the mail. I know this was part of the delay. It's hard to write good fiction, when all your mind can formulate is portfolio rationales, and term papers. The end of the school year also presented a delay, along with the fact that I have had little free time since my hubby got a new job back in Feb. He's been pulling overtime up the ass and our now 3 year old son has decided to cut out the naps and stay up later. So, yeah, less time all around for me. Sorry guys. Thanks to those of you who are still reading.**

**Anyways, I took a little artistic license on the pottery studio thing. I've never done it, and as I researched it all I realized it normally takes about a week for everything to be done. Most places like to dry things overnight, then dip them in a clear glaze, let that dry another 24 hrs., and then they'll fire them (assuming they have enough to go in the kiln). Anyways, as you know, I wanted it to be a piece for Bella's bedroom and that couldn't happen if I didn't pretend that time wasn't needed for all the steps. So, please no hazing over the inaccurate facts in the scene. **

**Also, I was trying really hard to get the update together and occasionally slipped between past and present tense. I tried to fix it all over, but may have missed a few spots. SORRY! Edward's stories don't belong to me. A couple are from www . thegoldenexperience . com/2008/08/ why-do-we-love-children-humorous. html and the laxative story was inspired by Tomie Depaola's autobiography. The cooked bologna is courtesy of my sweet Grandmother, may she rest in peace.**

**Thank you all so much who have favorited my story, added me to update, and especially reviewed. We're over 200 now! Yahoo! I am so thankful to all of you that have recommended my story to others, too. It's really touching. I know that taking months at a time to update isn't the way to keep support, so please don't review and tell me that, but do tell me what you thought of this chapter and any other constructive comments are always welcome. If someone sent you please tell me so I can thank the right person. Thanks again for reading! Updates from here on out will likely be shorter, but should be sooner, too. I'm finally done, I think…**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey all! It's finally here! See you at the bottom!**

_From the end of Chapter 16: "I'm your Aunt, Bella."_

**BPOV**

"I'm just going to leave you guys alone for a few minutes," Jake said as he scurried off towards his friends. I wasn't sure if I was relieved he left or worried. Either way I was uncomfortable.

"Come again?" I questioned her.

"I'm your Aunt, Bella."

I hurried to respond, beyond flustered by her revelation. "That's not possible. My mom was an only child."

"Not entirely. I mean, as far as I know she thought she was, but I'm her half sister. There hasn't been any contact from my side of the family though because my mother forbade it. She simply didn't want to ruin anything for anyone, but with her passing came this freedom. The freedom to reach out to the only other family I have, outside of my husband and son that is." She looked at me expectantly as a silence engulfed us.

"Wow, um. Just, yeah, wow. I don't know what to say," my response came, but I'm sure it wasn't what she'd wanted to hear.

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know. I mean if you'd like to talk more about it now, that's fine too."

"I don't know. This is kind of a shock on top of another really big shock. You know?"

"I understand. I just want you to know that your grandfather didn't have an affair or anything, so you don't have to worry about that. It's just that he and my mother had a little tryst that resulted in my conception. Unfortunately, when my mother went to talk to him about it, he freaked. He kept saying something about how they weren't meant to be, his parents hadn't picked her for him, and so they never could be together. It wasn't but a day or two later that she learned he was getting married to your grandmother."

"My mother confronted him then and asked how he could have been with her having been engaged to someone else. He informed her that he wasn't set to marry her at the time; in fact he'd never even really met her before. She found this hard to believe, of course, until he revealed that their marriage was arranged. I had no idea that sort of thing even went on anymore, let alone in this country, but I guess it did. Anyways, she vowed then and there never to have any part of him or his life because of all the drama it would cause. She met my father shortly after."

I was stunned into silence. How was a person supposed to react in this kind of situation? It felt almost like I should be on some talk show or something, "Long Lost Relatives Reunited" or some crap like that would be the theme.

"Just know, Bella, that if you'd like to come and stay with me you can. I mean, I'd love the chance to get to know you better, and maybe you could tell me some things about your parents, if it isn't too difficult for you to talk about them. It would be nice to have a little insight into the sister I always wanted to know."

"Thanks for the offer, but I have a place to stay." I didn't want to make her feel like I wanted nothing to do with her, so I added, "I wouldn't mind getting together some time and sharing stories and stuff, though. It would be nice to have someone to talk with about them that isn't looking at me with total sympathy all of the time. I mean you kind of lost them too, even if you'd never really met them."

"Thank you. I'd really enjoy that, I think. I had heard around the reservation that your parents had set you up with a nice family to look after you. It's a good think they had the foresight to do that because most people wouldn't. I think if that had been the case, you probably would have ended up here eventually. Afterall, I am your closest blood relative." She gave me a weak smile.

After that, we talked for a little while longer until I excused myself to go find Jake. He was talking with a couple of his buddies by the fire, but stopped midsentence as I ambled up to him. I was hesitant and didn't want to interrupt. I was also trying my hardest to wrap my brain around recent events. He rose and walked toward me taking my arm and leading me away from the crowd.

"So, how are you doing?"

"Did you know?" I asked. If he said yes, I'd seriously have to rethink our friendship.

"Know what?"

"Don't play coy with me. You know what," I replied, my rage growing.

"I only knew that she was interested in the fact that you were coming tonight, which just came up in passing around my dad. I swear, Bella I had no idea she had news to tell you."

I looked him closely in the eyes trying to gauge his sincerity, a difficult task given the limited lighting. Factoring in his defensive posture, I decided he looked like he was telling the truth, so I let it go.

We walked in silence for a little while longer until he broke in "So, she's your Aunt, huh? That's pretty cool. You still have family around. I guess that means you don't need the Cullens to care for you and you can move out here, right?" It almost sounded like he'd said their name in disgust, and I lost it.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I snapped at him. "One, it's not like legally the Cullens aren't my guardians. Two, what makes you think that just as I'm getting settled into a new place I'd up and move again, even if I did have a choice? And three, what about Edward?"

"Yeah, what about Edward? You shouldn't still have to marry him. I mean you have family around, Bella. I got a little of her back story from the guys while you were busy talking, and from the sounds of things she's knows an awful lot about arranged marriages and the damage they can cause."

"Don't act like that, Jake. Her situation is completely different."

"How do you know? What's to say that Edward won't go through a phase and leave some chick in the lurch like her mom, right before you two marry? Or worse, what if he knocks you up, and then chooses a different girl?"

"I don't have any guarantees of that, but no one truly does, not even the girl who voluntarily marries a guy. Plus, I told you we each have an out if we can find someone else to marry, and we sort of guaranteed our virgin status to his folks. It all seems to be more about marrying young and having someone to care for and support you for the longest time possible. Besides, who's to say if he did falter, that the girl would be like her mom was? Maybe she wouldn't care and would demand to be a part of our lives. Who knows? You know what? Just forget it; I can't talk with you about this anymore right now. I want to go home." I was fuming at this point and am pretty sure he could tell.

"Bella, jeez I'm sorry. I'm being an ass. I really didn't mean to upset you. Of course you know what you're doing. I just feel like I should watch out for you, you know like a sister or something. Please stay a little longer." I couldn't even look in his eyes at that moment. I know he was just trying to help in his own way, but he was seriously pissing me off.

"I can't, Jake. Not right now. Please, I just want to go home." He sighed, but took my hand. We made our way back to the group long enough to say our goodbyes. I plastered an 'everything's great in the world, but I'm just tired' kind of smile on my face. Leah gave me a sad smile and wave then mouthed she'd be in touch, and we left.

The ride back to the house was quiet. I was replaying the day's events in my mind and stewing a little about Jake's attitude. Once at the house, he pulled into the drive. Just as I reached for the door handle he started to talk, but I cut him off, "Jake, listen, if we're going to be friends, then I need you to support me in this. I need someone that isn't linked to this world, this family, that I can talk to. I have to know you'll be there to listen to me bitch or bawl. I have to know you'll share my smiles and laughs. I need to know that you're on my side."

"I am, Bells, I swear! It's just; I'm just such an idiot sometimes. I forget my place. If you need me to be supportive, you've got it. I'm all ears to hear whatever you've got to say at any time."

"I hope you mean it, Jake, because I get the feeling that I'm going to need your ears to listen to all sorts of things that I'm just starting to discover. I can't do this alone, and while every one of the Cullens is great, and Alice's friends seemed nice enough, I could just use someone not tied up in their world that's my refuge."

"I can be that for you, Bella, I promise. And if I can't for some reason, please lean on Leah. She's really cool, for a Mom anyways." He chuckled at his little joke then smiled a big goofy grin. I opened my door, and we said goodnight there because I'd declined his offer to walk me to the door. That would have made things a little too date-like for my taste, and this was the farthest thing from that in my mind. Plus, I didn't know who may be watching and I didn't want anyone to get the wrong impression. I needed to make it clear to everyone else that what Jake and I had was nothing more than a friendship, and it was a rocky one at best right now.

As I opened the door, I turned and gave Jake a small wave, letting him know I was safe so he could leave. A sound from the living room startled me a bit until I realized it was just someone snoring. I figured it must have been Carlisle, acting the protective father waiting for me or maybe Edward or Alice to get home from a night out. It turned out to be Edward. My approach startled him from his slumber, and he gazed up at me through droopy lids.

"Hey," he breathed.

"Hey yourself," I smiled at him. He was so sweet, albeit a little overprotective waiting up for me.

"So, how was your night?"

"Interesting. I'm really tired right now, though, so maybe we could talk about it in the morning?" He looked a little disappointed at that, but being the sweet guy he is agreed, stood to take my hand and escorted me back to my room.

We walked in companionable silence, me trying to figure out exactly what or how much about my evening I should relay, while he was likely running through possible scenarios in his mind. I felt the need to reassure him that things were still however you could describe it between us and told him so before leaning in to give him a good night kiss at my door.

After a quick clean up and change of clothes, I crawled into bed for the night, and even with all of the thoughts running through my mind, I was asleep in no time.

**EPOV**

Watching Bella leave with another guy was probably one of the toughest things I'd ever had to endure. My imagination was running wild concocting all sorts of sordid scenes, and I just had to get out of the house and find a distraction. Fortunately, my mom and dad were volunteering at the senior center for the day, and I offered to tag along. It had been a long time since I'd gone, but whenever I did it was good.

I sat in the atrium playing the piano for a while, something the residents always seemed to enjoy. We'd started volunteering as a family at the center as a sort of holiday tradition, but it became more of a common occurrence when we all fell in love with different residents. As time went on, we'd go just to spend time with them on our own. Each of us had latched on to someone that seemed to have no family or friends coming to visit them. The lady I used to visit, Mary, had passed away a couple of years ago in her sleep.

It had upset me so much that it took a long time before I would return to the center, even with my family. Mary had been a survivor. She'd lived through the great depression, fought for women's rights, and joined the fight for civil rights. She had done all of this while struggling with various health problems which actually caused her to be orphaned at a young age. I don't remember all of the details now, but when she was born with a heart defect her parents abandoned her on the steps of an orphanage.

I thought it was cold and heartless, but Mary explained it was a lot better than the alternative. Medical science hadn't quite caught up to all the cardio knowledge of today when she was born, and a lot of parents in the same position probably would have killed their child off she'd said. It was just the way things were back then as she told it, and I guess her parents felt they just didn't know how to handle it all. After talking with her, I was glad her parents had at least chosen to give her a life of sorts. The doctors couldn't tell how bad things were, but Mary knew she couldn't over exert herself without running into major difficulties. She'd never married because "what guy wants to deal with that," her words not mine, and of course she'd never had any children either.

Her cardio issues caused her to have a weakened immune system so she had contracted various diseases over the years that were harder for her to fight off than the average person. She'd told me all about it at one time because I'd told her I'd been thinking about going into medicine, like my father.

I remember laughing at her when she'd cautioned me about going into anything that dealt with women's health. She'd said I'd have to beat the patients away with a stick, at least all the single women, her guess being there would be a lot of ladies faking ailments just to get in to see me. Of course she'd also said I'd have to watch out for all the angry husbands, or if I took a different route I might have to worry about the gay men! I'd blushed over it all and loved how brash she could be. Thinking about her again put a smile on my face.

After playing until most of the residents around me were asleep or otherwise involved, I headed into the activities room. My folks had come to set up a game of bingo for everyone, so I decided to pitch in with that. When I was little, one of my favorite things to do had been to spin the cage for the numbers and call them out. Remembering this, my father motioned me toward where he had been doing that very same thing upon seeing me enter and then handed me the mic. He said his favorite part had always been playing for the residents, and he took off to rotate around the tables looking for someone that appeared to need his help.

I couldn't help but smile as he and my mom both walked the room, giving each other coy smiles from across the way and talking smack to one another on behalf of their seniors. Then when one of them would spot a bingo, the joy they got in yelling it and getting their person excited to scream it too was just insane. The residents were thrilled at the chance to dig through the prize bin for whatever stuffed toy or candy they found appealing.

When we'd finished the game and the residents had headed off to eat their dinner, we took off as well. I vowed internally to come back soon and maybe even find a new resident to spend extra time with. It would have to be something I thought deeply about though, given the fact that I could end up going away to school and would hate to latch onto someone only to pull myself away soon. My parents repeatedly said how nice it was that I'd come along, and insisted that we should all go as a family for Thanksgiving. I momentarily wondered how Bella would feel about it all and made a note to discuss it with her soon.

I didn't really think she'd have a problem with it, but you just never know. For some people, being in a nursing home is depressing, but for others it's a reminder of how much we need to embrace life as we have it and how to be grateful for all of the wonderful people in our lives. Those people had so much to teach us, and in light of recent events I was even more eager to learn.

While the trip to the center had kept me entertained and distracted for a while, it still wasn't long enough, and when we arrived home, I had to find some way to waste away the hours. I knew that Jazz and Em were busy today. Alice was dragging Jazz off to some cultural fair and Rose had Em doing God knows what, but I'm sure it was something girly that he'd be bitching to me about later. And while I had other buddies from school that I could call to hang out with, I didn't really want to because if I hung with them it sure as shit wouldn't be at my house, and I wanted to be there when Bella got home, even if I didn't know when that would be.

Resigned to the fact that I was basically grounding myself, I grabbed a sandwich and headed upstairs to my room. I decided that if I was going to be stuck somewhere, that was the best place since it kept me out of the parental line of fire, just in case anyone got any ideas. I hid out under the guise of studying and managed to pass enough time until my parents headed up to bed.

When I felt I was safely in the clear, I decided that since they obviously weren't going to wait up for Bella's safe return, I would. I don't know how long I was camped out downstairs, but I know I fell into a fitful sleep. My subconscious registered the odd hum that Bella and I share when we are near one another, jarring me from my slumber. I wanted to ask her everything about her evening, but she seemed exhausted and claimed to be as much, so I settled for waiting until she was ready to share. We walked together to her room where we kissed goodnight, and just like that a peace I hadn't felt since she'd left fell over me.

Back in my room, I let visions of Bella flood my mind, choosing to focus on her reaction to the remodel of her room, and all of the good times we'd shared over the past few days. She was quickly burrowing her way deeper into my heart, and I was more than willing to let her. I could only hope that I had managed to do the same to her. The images wrapped me in comfortable warmth that silenced all my other thoughts and allowed me to drift off to a slumber filled with serenity.

**BPOV**

Despite my exhaustion I still awoke far earlier than any "normal" teenager should. I realized that I missed Edward and decided to try and pay him a visit. After a quick clean up, I opened the door to my room and listened carefully for any signs of life. When I was confident that no one else was awake, I scurried up the stairs and towards Edward's room.

I tapped quietly on the door and then let myself in, confident that he wouldn't mind. His sleeping form was a magnet and as it drew me in I wrapped my arms around his torso and curled up. I could have sworn I heard a sigh of satisfaction leave his lips and let out my own too. Closing my eyes and inhaling his calming scent, I drifted back to my dreams.

Sometime later, I felt kisses fluttering all over my face. Edward's smooth voice was cooing sweet accolades to me. Our bodies were pressed up tightly together and as I began to stir under his embrace, he also began to stir against me. I don't think he'd become fully aware of it yet because in my limited experience with him he'd have distanced himself from me before grinding uninvited instead.

As I let my lids lazily drift open, I was greeted by Edward smiling face. "Good morning," he cooed.

"Yes," I smiled back at him. On some minor level I was concerned about having morning breath, but figured I couldn't have been asleep long enough for a new dose to really accumulate, so when he leaned in for a good morning kiss I was more than willing to oblige. "Yup, it's definitely a good morning now."

He chuckled at that and what was likely my drugged out dreamy face. It was the trademark of his kisses.

"So, I thought we could grab some breakfast and talk a bit, if that's okay with you. Maybe you could fill me in on last night?" he suggested cautiously. It was almost as if he feared I'd be angry that he wanted the details I just wasn't willing to give him before.

"That sounds nice. Can we make it just the two of us though? I really don't feel like talking to everyone else just yet."

The smile that graced his lips at my suggestion was all the answer needed. "Okay, so I'll just hop in the shower and get dressed quickly, and then I'll pick you up at your room when I'm done. Sound good?"

"Yeah, that's great."

"Good. I'll see you in about 15 or 20 minutes, if that's okay?"

"Sure, that'll be fine." Fine? What was I thinking, 15-20 minutes to be publicly presentable with him? Yeah, right. I rushed out of his room and to my own, dropping articles of clothing in my wake the moment the door was closed behind me. I was more than thankful for my low maintenance preference in style, but at the same time I feared it wouldn't be acceptable to Edward. Mentally chastising myself for the negativity I hopped in the shower for a quick scrub down and shave of the necessary parts.

It was likely one of the fastest showers of my life. I flung through my clothes trying to find something appropriate to wear, but finding nothing extraordinary I threw on my favorite jeans and light blue chenille sweater. The softness of the sweater just screamed comfort and warmth, but it hugged my body in all the right places. I threw on my favorite pair of tan suede shoes. If I had to categorize them, they're clogs, but I love how they mimic a boot in their front end.

After a quick blow dry of my hair, I pulled the sides back and up, opting for a cross-do over a straight ponytail. It was perfect timing too because just as I slid my clip into place, Edward was knocking at the door.

The sight that greeted me upon opening it was heavenly. He'd thrown on a pair of low hanging black jeans and a smoky gray sweater. It looked to be cashmere and hugged his body in a way that had my fingers itching to just run all over it. I imagined the silky feel of the fabric gently caressing my palms as I glided them all over, perhaps using how soft his sweater looked as an excuse to touch him. Remembering myself, I broke from my stupor to greet him.

"You look great, Edward. Is that cashmere?"

"I think so, although to be honest I'm not that fabric conscious. Alice supplies most of my wardrobe. Normally, I wouldn't have been so forthcoming with that news, but it's only a matter of time before you find out, seeing as how you live with her now too."

"Right. Well, she may choose your clothes, but you," I paused contemplating touching his chest in emphasis, but decided against it thinking it would make me look like some kind of desperate ditz, "have to wear them. My mom used to say that clothes can wear some people, it just depends on the kind of person they are for the determination to be made as to who or what is really in charge."

I gave him a small smile, hopefully exuding the same level of confidence through my appearance as he had with his. Confidence is the key, according to my mother. "If you aren't confident in what you wear; it doesn't matter," she'd always told me. I think she just said it to make me wear some of the hideous things she'd conjured up in one of her phases, but it was good advice nonetheless.

Edward ended up taking me to some little diner nearby. He'd said it had to world's best French toast. They coated it with corn flakes and slivered almonds for extra crunch. It was an admitted weakness of his and would fast become one of mine, too. I'd definitely have to learn how to make it on my own.

Over breakfast we chatted about nothing in particular. He'd filled me in on his time at the nursing home the previous day. I'd been more than surprised to find out that it was somewhat of a routine occurrence for the family, and it made me wonder if I'd be expected to take part in it as well. I'd never been in a nursing home before, but from what Edward had told me this one was really nice. The people sounded friendly, and I was looking forward to spending time with him there.

When he'd told me about Mary, I wasn't at all surprised that he'd admitted to an interest in medicine, although we'd never really talked much about the future. His comments gave me a chance to comfortably broach the subject. "So, is that still what you'd like to do? Study medicine, that is?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure. I mean, after everything I just told you about becoming attached to Mary and then losing her, I'm not sure I could deal with that on a routine basis. I don't know how my father does it, deals with the loss and disappointment. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and don't know if I'd be able to take the feeling of failure."

"Oh, Edward, you can't really believe that's what a doctor is when they're unsuccessful, a failure? I mean, they were just fighting far greater odds than they could beat. Some things are just out of our hands."

"It's funny, Mary used to say something similar to me when I'd talk to her about death. She'd used that old saying 'the only thing to fear is fear itself' all of the time. She'd said that if there weren't people out there willing to risk everything for a chance at success there would be so many things that this world wouldn't have. I guess it's just a hard concept to grasp, you know?"

"Sure, but that doesn't mean that there aren't risks involved in every aspect of daily life. I mean anything worth having is worth working for, right? And if you really want to be a doctor you should, knowing that it isn't an easy road to take, but then again, there isn't a true easy road. At least you've thought about what you'd like to do with your life. I haven't got a clue."

"Actually, if you don't mind my saying, maybe you should look into counseling. I mean, you seem to have excellent coping skills, wisdom beyond your years, and you're a great listener." He gave me his sexy smile, and that coupled with his compliments caused my cheeks to go crimson.

"I tell you what, I'll think about it. We can work on it together, how does that sound?"

"It actually sounds great. Maybe we could even start looking at schools together, arrange some campus visits for the spring, that kind of thing." Talk of the future left me feeling nervous and excited at the same time. We'd yet to nail down anything, and even if we had something more formal in place, I'd still fear it not working out.

"Listen, it's actually pretty nice today, what with the lack of rain and somewhat warmer temperatures, would you like to take a walk with me?"

"That sounds great. How about we hit up Bogachiel Park for hiking? I often go there to walk around when I need some peace and quiet, or want to think."

"That sounds nice. Actually, I'd like to talk to you about yesterday, but would prefer to have it be just the two of us. Know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I think I do. Let's go." After a brief argument over who would pay the bill, which I lost, we headed out hand in hand.

The drive to the park didn't take very long and once we'd parked, not needing to pay an entrance fee since Edward had an annual pass on his car, we headed toward to trails. Walking in silence for a short while, we enjoyed the canopy of trees and the lush green that surrounded us. It almost felt like nature was giving us a hug.

Because it was a Sunday and early fall, there weren't a lot of other people around. In fact, since we'd arrived, I'd not seen another soul. Rather than be unnerved by this thought, there was comfort. I could truly just be myself with Edward and spill all the details. When we neared a fallen tree I pulled him toward it to sit, patting the space next to me so he'd know I was planning on talking, and it could take a while.

I decided the first thing to do should be to break the news to him that I'd told Jake about the arrangement. He didn't seem surprised, but worried about the reaction. I assured him that Jake would stay quiet about it, and he'd said he was going to work extra hard at being supportive of me. While I could still see Edward was tense over that comment, I moved past it, figuring I'd given him all that I could.

"The great reveal of the night wasn't me telling Jake though, Edward. There's more."

"What do you mean?"

"It turns out, that my mother wasn't an only child as we've all been led to believe. While I was hanging out with Jake, the mother of one of his friends came over and introduced herself as my half aunt. She said that she was the product of a quick rendezvous between my grandfather and her mother. It was a topic that was off limits to be addressed, but since her mother recently passed away she's decided to reach out. Unfortunately for her, I'm all there is left to contact."

"Wow."

"Yeah, tell me about it. I don't quite know what she's going to want from me, but it seems like she'd like to connect with that part of herself in some small way now that there's the freedom there to do so, and I can't deny her that chance. She even offered me the chance to move in with her, which I of course turned down. But, there's an issue in her knowing about the arranged marriage tradition. My grandfather married my grandmother in an arranged marriage not long after her conception. He had no idea the marriage was coming, and when her mother later confronted him it was decided that she'd just stay out of his life and he theirs. I think she may be a little bitter if she finds out my parents have subjected me to a similar fate."

"You mean our parents, don't you?" he gently corrected.

"Oh, right, sorry out parents."

"Yeah, so Jake and I got in an argument over it after I talked to her. He seems to think that you could do the same thing to me or some other girl somehow, and I fear he may try a little too hard to look for a way out of this."

"Isn't that what we want though? A way out? I don't mean that in a bad way, Bella, I just mean, don't we want a way to make our own decision to be together, without any outside involvement?"

"Something tells me that even if we found a way to get your parents to accept that neither of us wants to marry so young, there will never be an 'us' without outside involvement."

"That may be true, but I'd still like the chance to try. However, I want that opportunity without anyone getting hurt. I don't want to upset you, our friends, my parents, or the outside world in general, but I'm not sure we can have it all."

"We'll just have to find a way to try. For now, we have to take things as they come. We'll stick to our agreement with your parents because we have very little other choice. I mean, I can't very well fight them on this; they've been so kind accepting me into your home, hell into your family is more like it. And well, you, they own you too because of all the things you have thanks to them. Besides, no matter whether a relationship is arranged or not, there's always a call for support. So I guess the plan is: don't go burning any bridges."

"No problem. I have not intentions of making any waves right now. I do however, want to do something at the moment," his eyes were smoldering as he said this.

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" I inquired, butterflies building in my belly.

Then he reached up and gently cupped my face in his hands, and just before planting his lips against mine he whispered "This."

Our kiss was passionate and sweet all at the same time. Our lips moved in tandem with each other. Wanting more, I reached around a cupped the back of his head, pulling his into me further. Leaning back against the log, I pulled him down toward me so that our chests were pressed against one another as he lay across me. Licking his lower lip, I coaxed his mouth open and slipped my tongue inside. Both our tongues lavished the other's with licks. There were moans and groans, some mild groping and grasping of teeth against lips and tongues. My heart was pounding in my chest, thrusting upward with an intensity that catapulted it into near separate entity status.

We were both panting heavily and light headed when Edward gently coaxed us apart. He suggested we needed to cool off, citing that while the trail gave an illusion of privacy, it was still a public park, and he did not want to make it a habit to have heavy make out sessions with me where the world could see, saying that I deserved better. As much as it hurt to admit it, he'd been right. So instead, we stood and turned, walking back towards the car, and perhaps a little more privacy. At least one could hope, right?

**A/N: Okay. So, apparently, I have a hard time with shorter. Hmmm…I can guarantee you I will not be giving up, and I won't publish something I find lousy. So, if it takes a little longer, I really am sorry about that. This would have been up earlier, but the stomach flu went around my house and it took a little over a week for me to get over it. **

**Special thanks to Jess2002 author of "my world your world" and its sequel "Our World" for pimping me out in an update. Seriously, go read it when you're done here starting with "my world your world." The Cullens are Amish-Manual labor Edward is HOT, enough said.**

**When I first started writing this, I imagined I'd be able to bang out thousands of words in chapters like authors I've read on here, but it's easier said than done. I'm trying, I swear. **

**I have a stack of grading that's backing up, midquarter reports I should have been doing but instead I finished writing this, my house is a mess, I've neglected my hubby, and I don't even have my Christmas tree up yet. BUT, I finally got my update done! It's all for you guys! Thanks for all the favorites, alerts, and especially reviews! Not to mention the recs. Again, if someone sent you please tell me. I'd love to give credit where credit is due. **

_**So, pretty please click that little review button and show a writer some love!**_

**Thanks again for continuing to read!**


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